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A couple of things came to mind when reading this post.
The first is that this sounds similar to an ADHD hyperfocus – does he have ADHD? If so, he'll probably get bored of this hobby soon and take up another one. My other thought, though, is that he's making an effort to use the gift that you got him because you got him it. This could be especially true if he does have ADHD because he might be aware that he's likely to move on to the next hobby quite quickly but it could simply be that he just wants to show you that he appreciates your gift.
I would just tell him what you said here – you love that he's enjoying your gift and his hobby but you miss him and would appreciate it if he could make time for just the two of you without bread being involved (lol I'm sorry that was funny to type, this really is the cutest post I've seen here) and remember that he has other responsibilities such as household chores.
Another quick, small, thing I wanted to say to hopefully help in regards to the cleaning thing – remind him that we constantly have to clean things even though we'll just have to clean them again later. We clean clothes even though we're wearing them again because it's hygienic. We clean the bathroom even though it'll get dirty again because it's hygienic. If he wants his bread to be of the best quality then keeping a clean kitchen is a must. I know it seems a bit silly but I'm 32 this month and still have to remind myself of this at least once a week lol.
I hope you've already been done with assholes like him. I'd at this point its quite evident he lacks respect for you. Your complacency in accepting it in any capacity validates his behavior. Leave.
So do I. You ever had candy? It’s really good. Who gives a fuck
I’ve got guy friends and they’re not this sorta trash – the fact no women stick around in this case is a preeeetttyyy obvious sign. You married the human equivalent of a complete door mat lmao.
Say goodbye have a great life
In an argument I will say things to hurt people, I can’t help it at all and I’m always annoyed/upset with myself so I can tell you now she’s upset but don’t for a second think she didn’t mean it because she definitely did, sorry friend it’s over unless you like being downtrodden
If you can’t risk your girlfriend finding out then yes, you cheated. If it wasn’t cheating you’d be fine telling her would you not?
Totally agree, ex is an asshole, but OP also has COMPLETELY ignored his very obvious boundary.
They're both in the wrong
She may or may not have to give you the money example: She can take out insurance on your body but list herself as the beneficiary. This is completely legal especially if she is paying the fees as it is even more so.
If you took out the insurance and you were supposed to be the beneficiary then it is insurance fraud. You could just reach out to the insurance and tell them that you never signed the check. You never receive the check and that they deposited it into the wrong account. You don't even really have to talk to her about it. They will put a stop payment on the check and attempt to recuperate the funds. They might take some legal action depending on how they feel, and eventually you would get a check issued to you.
If you guys are both listed as a beneficiary things can get sticky depending on how you are listed as beneficiaries. You guys can be both equal beneficiaries and at that point you would have to take a claim against her. If you guys are listed as 50/50 beneficiaries then she owes you half.
I will say if she's been paying the fees the entire time out of her own money, it makes sense for her to at least keep the portion of the fees she's paid into this so far IMO
I mean I would host my nephew and niece over the summer if they asked but stay long-term long-term??? Nah.
Maybe clarify with him to see what he's actually asking
You. Cannot. Fix. Another. Person. You. Absolute. Fucking. Walnut.
If your relationship wouldn't even survive ld….it's not meant to be anyway.
???
If you need to give your partner permission to touch you every time then you don't need to be in a relationship. If you're partner makes a rule that you need their permission to hug or kiss you every time, then either you did something to make them feel that way or they have developed some serious issues. In either case…bail out.
tysm
Minors can cheat as well
Thanks..? I guess. No. We are not children. We are both in our mid twenties. And I know it is a stupid thing. As I said in my post. I am aware of that. And that was one of the main things that bothered me because I shouldn't care. But I do. And I hate that. It is something I can't control much. I am in therapy, but the past year came with allot of hardships. From financial issues, multiple family losses and more. So I am more on edge and closer to crying at the moment. It is Still stupid. But can't do much about it right now other than trying.
And I don't know what to take from your advice other than ending the relationship I guess. If that's what you meant.
buy a fan or white noise machine, quit complaining its not their fault they pay their bills.
yall both sound like very unpleasant people.
You have two options here:
1) See a doctor and talk about ED prescription drugs and/or other natural alternatives
or
2) Leave the girl
Do not get back with this man
That’s a much kinder reply than the flip one I posted. And a much better one. OP, listen to this.
As soon as I read the post I also thought bro was negging her.
There's no one that's a 10 thats why. You sound like a fuckin brat anyways, 1/10
Thank you, I take this to heart and know I must do better to show and tell her her worth.
honestly you’re in no rush to figure out what your feelings are about this. But to prompt it, maybe ask yourself, How do I think I should feel about it? What would most people feel about it? What am i NOT feeling. Are you mad at your best friend, do you understand her? Do you empathise with her or never want to see her again? Remember it’s okay to feel multiple things even if they don’t make sense.
21 and 28 is a red flag. I had a FWB a lot older than me at your age and i developed feelings. Took months to get over, never admitted I had feelings at the time, and now 3 years later i’m embarrassed by it. Truth of it is, your man is probably ugly and not that cute. Especially if he’s dating girls 7 years younger. A part of him probably enjoyed upsetting you, best thing is to distance yourself. Sorry about all the downvotes on your replies too, you’re clearly young and it is OK to not have stellar perfect confidence. It comes with time and having people around who like and respect you. Nothing wrong with hoping a FWB goes well, but yeah, they usually become awkward or someone disrespects boundaries.
You also need to be very aware that this is HER problem. If she doesn't want things to change, they absolutely never will. Addicts don't get better if they don't commit and want to. Life doesn't magically change around you unless you try to do something differently.
So you're going to have to accept that this is her decision, and you just can't change her. If she wants to party she will. If she decides to stop she will. So if you want to stay with her while she chooses to continue partying, you have to make peace with that. Wither accompany her to every single party (which is exhausting and extremely uneven in a relationship to participate in their personal life like that without a return) and reduce her risk of this happening (because let's be clwar it's never zero. It's never zero anywhere, but it's a hell of a lot higher when you are high or senseless and around high, senseless people.)
Or, you can tell her you concerns, and then respectfully say this is not a stressor that I want to accept into my life. You have made your choice and I am going to make my choice to not support you in this.
Because accompanying her everywhere is enabling, if your end goal is to stop her. You are making her feel safer and reducing potential consequences (not that she deserves anything to happen, but she is accepting a state of vulnerability). And you are degrading yourself to do this.
I would recommend you go your separate ways. You are just not going to be able to influence these choices, so you are going to have to on-line with the anxiety or you need to communicate and leave.
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I guess I read it like OP brought this up for discussion and it was a very hot no for the partner. What should he do then? I suppose I'm also assuming he's not going to lay it out that bluntly. But what's really the option here?
that’s true, I’ll try to talk to him again, I just don’t know what to say? I’ve already told him what’s happened to me in the past, and he’s comforted me about it, but my insecurities are still there.. and I definitely want to get professional help. I on-line in Cali so everything is super expensive and I’m stuck at a shitty minimum wage job haha. but thank you for your kinds words, I really appreciate it.
Break up with him because he seems like a genuine nice guy and you need to get your shit together before you get into a relationship ?
Hell no do not give him another chance. OMG he is a cheater and he got her pregnant?? So no protection i bet. OMG get out of this shitty relationship you deserve better.
Hell no do not give him another chance. OMG he is a cheater and he got her pregnant?? So no protection i bet. OMG get out of this shitty relationship you deserve better.
Yes it is. But you can't keep doing this, so flat out tell her that she gets into therapy or your done and if you live! together then one of you need to leave.
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At some point if I kept willingly continuing a relationship I know had no future I’d think about if I was the problem. You can’t just stay because it’s a habit you leave because it’s incompatible and she will never want you like that
And this is why you don’t move in with strangers
I don't. I cook out of necessity. I generally make healthy meals and am a decent cook, but not a hobby whatsoever.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life this far away from your family have you looked into similar jobs near where she lives yet or are you basing this on not having looked yet
That doesn't sound like a joke. Putting a knife to someone's throat isn't a joke, aiming a gun at someone isn't a joke, threatening someone's life is never a joke. Him saying you have an anger problem is straight up manipulation. You are reacting appropriately to the situations that he is putting you in. If anything OP, you are under reacting. I'm genuinely scared for you OP, these are scary, stressful situations.
I should try to appreciate that more.
That’s my thought process too.
I have leftovers older than this baby. (I should really clean my fridge this weekend, hm)
Yikes this needs to be higher.
saying he would always find something to roast and that other issues of mine lower his patience with me to where it’s like he actively looks for things to rag on me about.
This is a red flag op.
He might have apologized but it was not sincere.
Actions speak louder than words and his actions are saying he prefers to harm you and he is making an excuse to do so.
Just because someone has high intelligence doesn't mean they get a free pass to be an ass.
Here is an example:
You have a mechanic and you have a physician.
If you asked the physician to fix your car 9/10 times, they would be clueless.
If you take a mechanic and ask them to preform a physicians duties they would be clueless as well.
Intelligence comes in many forms.
You would be an idiot to meet up.
Yeah I have been thinking that, like we do talk about issues and work through them but I feels like there are these areas where we just can't click or can't see eye to eye with each other
LMFAO, you need to ask her: “Did I really raise you to be such an ungrateful and manipulative daughter?”
You are the moron for not marrying your baby mama…shame on you for living in sin
How many parents do you have?
Yeah red flag
How can you not see that was clearly a lie meant to hurt you? See how shit you feel? That was his goal.
There’s no way? HEAPS? Heaps of 40+yo women dating under 30yo’s? Sorry mate but it’s near impossible to find one woman on this post that would date someone that much younger than them, let alone knowing HEAPS of 40 year old women that would..
We are in an international relationship and have agreed to get married, one reason for how quick is so I can stay in the country.
Yeah, that's often a recipe for disaster. You barely know each other and already rush into getting married.
We are also very in love.
You're in the earliest stages of the honeymoon period, you're still more infatuated than in love.
. But she is now pregnant with our child and were engaged so very hot to find out at this point as it breaks trust.
Wow….was this an “accident”? Sounds a bit too convenient of her only telling you the “truth” once she knew she had you locked down…
Apart from the trans thing, no one should ever get mad at you for not having sex. That’s not okay at all in any context.
I'm talking to OP not you.. I'm not posting pictures on here and my real name is not used…very different that TT …IG or FB
It means you and her dont have the same views about infidelity, and yes her undermining the severity of cheating may be indicative of her chesting on you and not taking it seriously.
Most people would be deeply hurt if their partners were unfaithful, but yes some people dont see sex and cheating as cardinal sin.
To that effect, if I were you i would ask her accordign to her what is the worst thing someone can do in a relationship.
Your husband is being defensiveness. And all defensive responses have one thing in common, they center the defensive persons perspective with out making room for the other persons. For example if he really was joking, a non defensive response would be “oh, I was trying to lighten the mood, but that didn’t go over well, sorry about that.” Where he shares his intent but then gives empathy for the hurt the other person feels, making room for both sides. Or if he thinks saying sorry is admitting a mistake, another non defensive response would be this. “My intent was to lighten the mood. But I see that what I said bothered you, and I don’t want that. Let’s discuss this so we’re both on the same page on what to do in times like this.”
In both examples he makes room for both peoples perspective. If however his response is simply, I was only joking, he’s speaking up for himself but is lacking any acknowledgment, validation, or understanding of how the other person feels. And if he wants others to respect his perspective, he has to do the same for them, and if he’s being defensive he’s not doing that. In essence, it’s a self absorbed way of problem solving.
If he does this a lot, it might be something that needs therapy to change. If it’s only on occasion, maybe google defensiveness in relationships and solutions for it and see if there are tips Yep here that can help.
agreed
This also would stop baby mix-ups
Since we met, he’s said he keeps meaning to file but things come up or he can’t afford it. I had been thinking about seeing if I could break the lease but I didn’t want to be over reacting either.
For some reason I can’t see any of the comments ? if anyone would like to, messaging me directly might be better
What do i do about his child who has been in our care for 6 years? Mom is no longer in the picture. Kid does not deserve to lose another mom.
Have you considered seeking professional help for your emotional regulation?
Traditional where? I've never heard that phrase before in my life.
Keep checking the list. See if it grows
In relationships you are allowed to set boundaries or you will leave them. Such as not giving your Instagram to men at the gym hitting on you.
Sounds like she's moving on already and doesn't want to tell you yet.
Grap that strapon
It would really depend on what your current relationship with your best friend is.
Has there been distance because you’re not crazy about her choices and not sure your values line up anymore. That’s a legit reason to back off a friendship.
Has your friend been remorseful and understood the harm she caused and expressed desire to change? If so have you supported her trying to do better?
I think the key question is how much this friendship means to you. If she is philosophical about the consequences of her cheating and wants her ex to find happiness, then she may bear no ill will. But most people aren’t really that selfless.
I’d say be careful with the guy. You could be just a rebound, or even a way to cause his ex pain.
Yeah. This isn't about the dog. I mean, it is, but it's not just the dog. The dog is just the straw that broke the camel's back. “I've called him out about all kinds of shit” means there are more and deeper issues about lying and trust. Sounds exhausting to me, always having to question what he's telling you.
It’s dangerous actually. It increases the chance of suffocation, strangulation, and SIDS according to kidshealth
So.. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who would say:
I'm a little fuzzy on what you mean by “attacked”. If you haven't already, could you please elaborate, the more details the better.
Thanks.
Thank you I was kinda thinking the same thing like maybe it’s his way of saying goodbye
You've been with him for too long. You don't have to spend your life with the first person you fall in love with. You're young and your brain is literally still developing. You will change. Your personality may change a bit. It's a part of getting up. You will be a completely different person at 25 than you are now. How long do you want to still be in the same bad relationship that should have ended years ago?
At this point trying to keep this relationship is like beating a dead horse. Nothing you do will make it go any faster because it's, well, dead.
Thank you for the advice! He has mentioned that he understands he’ll need to take on a majority of the bills and he’s fine doing that since it will only be one more year and then I’ll have my own income, I just hate feeling like a burden!
Then he needs to plan it at a time when he's not calling her boss to get her out of work. Or tell her to take the afternoon off for a surprise, which would build anticipation and excitement.
I would find this behaviour deeply disrespectful, no matter how badly I wanted surprises. Plenty of people would.
I feel like this is exactly what happens when someone that isn’t naturally romantic or thoughtful tries to be.
If you’re planning an event for someone it’s truly for them and you really care about them then they are the centre of it and if they get upset or if they don’t feel like it or whatever, no matter how much time and effort you put in you have to be understanding that this was you projection about what they like and if they react differently to that you have to be accepting.
You can keep surprises without it startling someone in the day. There is no reason why you couldn’t say to your GF hey could you have next Tuesday off I’m planning something.
I would be devastated for something like a spa I’d be mad; if I had just spent time doing my hair in the last 24hrs, if I got my period, if I didn’t shave my legs, if I was worried about coming on my period, if I was wearing my high waisted trousers that leave red marks on my stomach, if I didn’t bring spare underwear, if I didn’t have my cleanser with me, if I was having a feel ugly in my body day, if my boyfriend had the audacity to speak for me to my manager without consulting me, if I’d had a lazy work morning and was planning to cram in the arvo, if I’d told a client/colleague I would contact them in the afternoon, for example.
Communication is key. If it's still weighing on your mind just take him aside and ask him whatever it is that's bothering you (if hes checking them out all the time or whatever). To answer your question, I don't think it's normal. I think his response was a bit insensitive. With a question like that I think most men in a committed relationship would say Sure they're pretty but they're just friends. But every relationship treats those situations differently. If it's not bothering you, let it go
Wait, what? I didn't scroll through the comments, but I can't be the only person who zeroed on his GF admitting several months into the relationship that she might have an STD.
Having mental problems to the point of this kind of torment may be reason enough to postpone. Why can’t he move back? Is this job worth blowing up his health and your relationship for?
What is the question with these situations? You aren’t engaged, you aren’t married, you have no kids.
What the hell is the option other than leaving him? What’re you going to sign up for? A life of wondering if he’ll cheat again? Raising someone else’s kid with him? I mean get some self respect and leave.
I think she just knows how much glee OP was getting from “crushing” his child in chess and knows that he would just tell the kid that mom is letting him win and further destroy his confidence. OP is treating this like it's three adults playing a game, one he can finally beat someone at, and not two parents teaching their child. Also, he seems much more bothered about the possibility that his kid is actually winning than he is about his kid not wanting to play with him anymore. Like, as you say “plans change all the time with kids” so why did he not change up his “teaching” method when he saw how disengaged it was making his kid? There seems to be a fundamental conflict here about how to parent and I wonder how much of an agreement there really was originally about the “destroy the kid's confidence so he hates chess” method since it's objectively terrible parenting and the wife has been doing the opposite since the start. I honestly think this guy has been losing at chess for so long that he's totally lost perspective and just really wants to crush someone now.
I disagree.
It's just some of us are bad matches for some chess prodigies.
Back in my days of school, we did have one such prodigy who introduced chess in our school. This chap did play internationally. A whole lot of us were beginners, and I was easily the last place guy. But for some reason, lots of beginners just don't follow standard rules.
And I was the one bloody bastard who just went off on tangents leaving him scratching his head.
I figured since chess has a limited set of moves, there's no thinking outside the box. So I always made those seemingly bad moves. Most of them, I never thought them through, I just made them. And for some reason, they always gave the chap a very hot time. Incase any of you are wondering, I never did actually beat him even once. But our matches did amass quite a gathering in hopes someone would actually beat him.
Whenever I played anyone else, I just got crashed!!!
So it could be possible those bad moves are just beginner unpredictability.
I hope things get better for you.
This is going to sound harsh, but I swear to you that I have your best interest in mind when I say this.
The only correct answer when receiving a TEXT MESSAGE from an s/o, be they man or woman, saying they “really do love you but want a break” is to respond:
LOL k
And then never speak to this person again. Over a text. Lmao. The disrespect alone should motivate you to follow this advice.
The thing is, it’s the only correct answer. The type of person who would pull this on you deserves it, but also unfortunately it’s likely to be the only thing they would emotionally respond to eventually.
Of course, when they day DOES come? I highly advise you to continue on with N/C…. but ultimately that’s up to you.
This is what I believe as well. If you were going to keep the baby it would be a whole Nother story. But since you’re not even going to continue of the pregnancy, there’s no point telling.
I think you're just going to have accept that you're not compatible. Yiu have your schedule and she has hers. And they're not compatible. Nothing wrong with either of you but thsi won't work long term. It's already nor working so it will only get worse. You date to see if you're compatible and clearly you're not. You don't need a (what others perceive as a ) valid reason like abuse, cheating etc. If it isn't working for whatever reason that IS a valid reason. I wouldn't like it either if my partner couldn't ever make it past 10 pm. You either accept her for who she is right now and if can't then it's time to move on. You can't expect her to change and you should not have to change your entire schedule just to match hers. It might work on the short term but not longterm.
It's when it's cleared up or in a spot that I dont go near with my mouth, like his pelvis pubs area
My advice to deal with him is to write your feelings down and write an email or letter. My advice on the IVF piece that you didn't ask for is to maybe do couples therapy or individual therapy to discuss it.
I have been with my wife for over 15 years total including dating and I have never and will never put my hand over her mouth to silence her in that way. Huge red flag
Seriously. My bf and I had the “do you want kids” talk before the “are we exclusively dating” talk
You could introduce him to Dan during one of those meetings.
It seems you've made a pretty classic mistake of assuming someone will change their stance on something and then coming to the realization way too late that in fact, they have not.
If this is a dealbreaker for you, you're going to have to move on. He told you from the start he didn't want pets, it's unreasonable to ask for otherwise when you accepted this at the beginning.
Hi Consistent Patient, I don't remember making any comments at any point about actively pursuing anything with my colleague. Also, I am actually seeking more about how to manage my feelings in this situation that is foreign to me.
Wow. You really think you can fix a problem when you don’t even know what the problem is? Self important much? And where’d you get your family therapist credentials?
Seriously, in a relationship you each deal with your own families. Also, maybe just try talking to him, and if he doesn’t trust you enough to tell you then y’all need to re-evaluate this entire relationship. He probably needs therapy and you need to mind your own and stay out of family issues that don’t involve you.
Projecting what?
My goal was to point out that not mentioning your partner's medical issues including anxiety and panic attacks — which can often manifest in irritability and quick-triggered inappropriate behaviour and actions (such as “felt slighted” waiting in line at a bar and “threw nasty slurs” at those he felt had offended him) — in your initial post might affect the responses you receive. Mentioning that he takes medication and wishes to stop doing so is also a relevant factor. (Does he wish to stop because he feels it isn't working? Bad side effects? Is he working to taper off one so he can try another one?)
I guess my main question is, does HE think there is a problem with his behaviour? Does HE think he acts inappropriately in public and wish to work on those choices in the future? Or does he think his behaviour is fine and everyone else needs to change?
If he is a “black void of negativity” then sadly the help you need “pulling him out of it” comes from him – you can't do it alone.
I wish him luck finding a therapist. (I also on-line in a country with “free” healthcare and grant that it is not an easy thing to do — but I really do think it is necessary for him to learn to manage his anxiety, and in that way his actions, behaviours, and choices – especially with a baby on the way. When the baby cries will he think that the baby is out to get him?
I also hope you are able to find a counsellor, therapist, or professional you can speak to – it must be stressful for you to be trying to jolly him along and manage his emotions and behaviours as well as the consequences of them when he acts out in public.
Do you love her? I think you start there.
If you don't, the question is easy. You aren't responsible for someone else's life or for their happiness. You just aren't. If you love someone — if they contribute to your life being better on the whole — then a lot of this might be worth battling through. But if you don't, or if you did but now don't, you have no obligation towards her.
From what you've said, she's going to make it very hot. Your life will suck for a while. But it sounds like your life sort of sucks now, so you might as well start going through it now. Waiting won't help either of you.
Damn?
I was in a relationship like this. Then I divorced my son and cut him off.
hey speaking as someone who just got really hurt by their ex-boyfriends parents and shown no respect. you need to stop siding with your parents. your dad just SPAT in his face dude!!! it's not his time to show he wants you it's YOUR time to show you want him! and rn you are not standing up for him. my ex's parents literally split us up and my ex isn't doing anything ab it. his parents kicked me out bc they felt uncomfortable and disrespected by my clothes which covered tits, ass, anything that was a concern 🙁 and your father sounds worse than those people. spitting in someone else's face is the ultimate level of disrespect. you're lucky he doesn't dump you rn girl istg.
A full game of real football is 90 minutes. FIFA is condensed, usually around 5-10 minutes a half, depending on settings. So sounds like 1-2 games a night, which is reasonable (assuming there's not other shit goin on too, like OP not doing anything around the house or ignoring his partner)
He's going to need to just get any job because he's fucked his references, and those are hugely important.
Either that or put Twitter on his resume /s
He sounds incredibly out of touch with professional norms, I'm sorry
My dad is an alcoholic and even sober he is an abusive nightmare. He's the victim in every circumstance and will come out with the most abusive, vile, ridiculous shit. I can't imagine what being in a relationship with someone like that would be like. I hope this separation sticks and the girlfriend runs as fast as she can.
OP, get some help. This is not normal, your girlfriend deserves much much better.
Cheaters are fukn scum. And to add insult to injury you’re making up excuses. Your husband was a gross creep for going after a 21 year old. You both deserve each other.
He sounds just like my ex, who I later found out was asexual. His ex tried to warn me, but I didn't listen. You can't change him, OP.
Sounds like she really doesn’t care about your boundaries at all, dismissing you so clear cut like that. She definitely doesn’t have respect for you or your relationship when she treats you for granted like that, like she feels she can do any gross and ridiculous thing she wants because in her head she knows you won’t leave her. You really need to think if she’s worth more of your time and possibly starting a family with? Is it a good idea to invest more effort and time with someone that’s growing into the person she currently is heading toward 3-5 years down the line? Is she going to be able to provide you with a positive quality of life as a partner knowing that you’d have to tolerate this kind of nonsense long term? Think about that and then answer the next question of, can you find someone better than this that will treat you better too? Because you definitely deserve better.
Also, I initially read this in Bill Burr’s voice and it made me laugh, I’m so sorry OP lol
Same. But unfortunately there are legitimate people in this world who don't respect themselves even an ounce so they stay in relationships like this.
What would she even need to chat to someone she cheated on her partner with about?
And to hide it?
But OP is gonna stay and have a miserable marriage because he's trying to hold onto this chick that keeps disrespecting him.
I dont even know what he wants us to say…
So OP what do you want us to say?
“Either you let me chop that foreskin, or you must convert to a religion where you think chopping that foreskin is the right thing to do!”
Your boyfriend is trickle-truthing you as evidenced from his prior actions. He first told you it was only boys, then it was with his sister but only external touching and grinding. Eventually he’ll tell you that he’s had full on penetrative sex with his sister. You need to get the fuck out of this situation, the man you are dating is VERY sexually warped and the severity of these perversions is only going to increase the longer you date him. Do you really wanna date a man who has likely fucked his younger sister? Come on now, you should have some more self respect.
To me, there are two separate issues here.
About the BC, it's not cool to force a woman to use an invasive form of BC. It affects your mind and body, and has side effects that range from low libido to deadly blood clots. Many women also can't use it due to pre-existing health conditions, such as certain types of migraines. It's not just some casual thing that's easy to do, it's a huge medical decision. Condoms are very effective (98%) when used correctly, their bad stats come from imperfect or inconsistent use (87%).
About the contingency plan, yeah that's a totally valid reason to break it off. It's important to talk about what she would want to do in the event of an unintended pregnancy, and if you're not aligned on that, better safe than sorry.
You need to break up. Being drunk is no excuse for this shitty behaviour. He didn't even see the light when he was sober. A bf must have your back. But instead he choosed his awful friends. Friends who makes fun, no bully you because you do a natural thing. Oh how dare you flew home. They had so many jokes prepared for the next days. If you were laughingwith them, okay, but you were crying, seeking for the help of the one who should support you and he did nothing. If he can'tevenhave your back in such a situation. When his friends and a stupid trip is more important, you should break up.
To think that he behaved like this with 28. I thought the were just out of teenager age, but he is nearly 30 and is so immature.
He should be so lucky to be with you. You have nothing to worry about you look very hot. Dump him though, you can’t be with someone who is that terrible, you deserve way more, someone who will worship the ground you walk on.
She’s not taking that at all
I laughed so very hot at this because it was definitely true for me. Beyaz specifically had me always in snappy rage mode no one could handle (not even me). I was terrible on that (but Loestrin is what affected me in the way OP described his gf).
That said, just switching it up does work well for a lot of women.
You split up and delete him for good
I cannot tell you how many times my abusive step-father would do or say horrid things to my mom and then apologize and bring her chocolates and flowers. He would act all nice for a day or two and then be back to his abusive ways… Don't believe it, it just keeps getting worse. You are very young, don't settle for this guy, go find yourself someone who treasures everything about you from the start.
And NO, people cannot and don't change that quickly, whatever he's feeling will wear off and he'll be back to trying to control you again.
People are so gullible.
Honestly, who cares? You are with her now. That's all that counts and matters. You're being sensitive in a way that you shouldn't be because it leads to nothing neither here nor there. This obsession with “body count” is arbitrary and ridiculous, as though her self worth is tied to how many people she's been with.
my advice, tell your GF that maybe she should date her friend instead of you bc it is clear where her priority is. also, the friend does not like you.
Thank you so much, I've been thinking about therapy alot it's just expensive I believe or you have to wait months to get free from the government. Therapy should be free man ?
Thanks for your reply I really need a reality check and this helps
He sounds like a narcissist. For the love of God run.
English is not my first language, and apparently I wrongly thought I could handle it.
Fun is not the same as joy for me. I can enjoy quietly sitting by a lake and drinking tea. But I wouldn't call that fun. But it looks like I should call that fun, only I don't because I assume most other people don't?
If you’re afraid of your bf to the point that you’re hiding things from him for your wellbeing (meds/therapy), then he’s a bad partner and it’s a bad relationship.
I would do some serious soul searching/reflection on the relationship and try to decide if this is how you want to on-line your life – in fear and anxiety-
Maybe take time with your family next week and ask them honestly (without him present) their opinion on the relationship too; I bet they have thoughts.
Good luck, OP
They mean autism, and he should go to a different doctor (such as a psychologist) to diagnose, not his family doctor.
Except the report is not my cat was rehomed the report is my cat which I’ve spent $X on was stolen and I know where it is. Then you move on to small claims court
Yeah. “My ex wife had a problem with my friend too. Just because I have a cute nickname for her and spend a lot of alone time at her house doesn’t mean I like her more than you, Kate… uh… Katie? Or wait, Kathryn? sorry.”
This dude sucks. The misspelling is so weird. That’s like a 10 second fix. Someone’s name is important.
Him, her, or both are just waiting, they know there will be a time when they are together, it’s just a matter of time.
Best thing you can do is show how good of a worker you can be. Mental health is something personal and your work ethic should be more important, especially if this is something you are already handling. Also try not to clam up and come off as overly shy, being able to speak up for yourself is important.
The father hasn’t been given custody, yet, and the grandmother has made it pretty clear that he is not an option… I think she should’ve been given to him once the mother passed, but she wasn’t.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure 2 women having sex is gay porn
And a raise to stay if this is the shit you have to tolerate
You've already done what I would have recommended which is sit down with him and make a list etc.
I guess the only resource you have now is to impose consequences which may work, or end up making things worse.
No wood for the fire? Leave and stay elsewhere for the night because you need warmth.
No clean plates? Get a meal for yourself at a restaurant. Or was one plate for yourself.
You might also strike by not doing his laundry or not preparing food for him.
I know this sounds like tit for tat, and that's where it's risky, but you don't need this for the rest of your life and it's better to find out now before you have kids.
The nuclear option is to face facts and end your relationship. Sometimes this is enough to change behaviour but never count on it.
I am very sorry for your loss. Dump that monster immediately. He is beyond vile.
Right? Like you can't see someone and objectively think they are good looking without being into them. There are women who are beautiful but their personality makes them unattractive…men also.
lol k
Is much much better than the paragraph you wrote out. Ignoring her is better than the paragraph too.
You need a safe word. Talk about it when you are not getting ready to have sex. Ask her to be as specific as possible. Listen. Then make sure that there’s a word that means stop, she’s uncomfortable. Don’t wait until bedtime. Sex is way better than doing dishes. She’s asking for you to go for it when she’s least expecting it. You look over and find her so irresistible that you can’t help yourself. You want it now. But. Most of this is not about sex. It’s about her lack of self esteem. It’s a very good thing that you are starting couples therapy.