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The saying that comes to mind is “play stupid games, win stupid prizes”.
Now is a good time to learn about yourself and what kind of insecurities you have that led you down this path. Self destruction is always an indicator to yourself that you need to address your subconscious impulses and thinking.
The truth is very important and if your story is in fact the truth, that you lied about all this, then own that. Address your girlfriend honestly and explain yourself. Be prepared to be rejected. You have done a lot of damage – to your own reputation, to your girlfriends heart, and to the trust in the relationship. It would be in your girlfriends fight and best interest to break things off.
If you want to course direct this, be honest and be fair. Accept what your girlfriend decides is best for her. Accept responsibility for your actions and the hurt you caused.
The only thing left to do is stay in touch with what your thoughts and impulses are and spend more time thinking through them. You’ll still make mistakes but if you’re paying attention and course correcting, you’ll be fine.
Good luck.
That’s the goal. Just can’t afford it right now.
Depending on the nature of your boyfriend's professional relationship with this colleague he should probably try to apologize, blame the booze and promise to never mix business with personal things again. As long as he can salvage his career none of the rest of it really matters. This other couples might break up, but that has no affect on your life. Trying to fix the potential career fallout needs to be your bfs' priority.
You say you are emotionally cheating and then say you aren’t emotionally cheating? Which is it?
He should report her reaching out to him
Why isn’t it up to him to avoid upsetting the child with conflict when he’s the one yelling? That’s why they’re upset. He is the source.
So you think he’s a liar?
Do you want to be with him? If so, tell him. You have nothing to lose
Therapy will help you learn how to cope with these feelings in a healthy way.
I have struggled in similar ways and always felt like I should be able to fix these problems without therapy because no one else “needed it”. I was in a vicious cycle of jealousy, self-hate for being jealous, and lashing out because I wanted to stop feeling sad but couldn't fix it by myself. It took months for me to realize it was working, but I'm so glad I found my therapist. The outside perspective helped a lot and they helped me acknowledge and move on from such feelings without invalidating them.
It's a lot of active work and time to get out of the habitual thoughts that put you in a dark place, but for me it was very worth the effort. I'm happier. (Also, even if they don't talk about it, everyone needs help and therapy on something. You are not alone)
appreciate this
How does a 26 year old accidentally get pregnant?
It is up to both you and your wife meaning YOU and her have to be okay with it. Resentment can happen if she moves in and becomes a burden relying on you financially and for care for the rest of her life. It’ll take a toll on your relationship and your and wife’s physically and emotionally wellbeing. You do not have to give in and let the mother stay with you out of obligation. Your home should be a place for you to feel comfortable and relaxed. You have a right to say no and as you ultimately know it’ll be emotionally unhealthy for your wife, stick to your guns.
Ugh yes, the things prior that made me upset, I wouldn’t accept in a relationship. So to tell me you wanna be my man but not behave how a man would act, I tried bouncing. In the process I had voiced my concerns a final time I thought and tried to move on- but bc he continued talking to me, and offered explanation I felt maybe he understood and heard me. Since staying with him, I have learned he lies quite often, and I have let him know hey I’m aware you feel the need to lie, I can see and understand why, and can we talk about it and given him the opportunity to be truthful which has been great I feel and helped us get to the bottom of some shit. But being around his normal self / vs lying self. I’m so conflicted ? it’s like when he tells me that’s it I told you everything we worked thru it, something else happens like I see him swiping on a dating app and it’s like why. Yes I have liked him from the jump, but my brain overrides my heart. But given the circumstances, I’ve tried to be more open and accepting and not behave how I normally do and it still seems it’s getting me no where.
Women's symptoms can be milder and less obvious than men's. While it sounds ridiculous, it's possible that she could have something and not know, especially if she doesn't get tested regularly.
You'll have to be honest with her if something comes up. Whatever she wants to think about wouldn't trump the fact that there's a medical issue she needs to have treated.