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Talk to your RA. She should be trained to help you and your roommate talk this over. It's usually required as the first step if you want to move out. Your RA may also be aware of who else in your building may be looking for a roommate.
This is a long one, but I hope you read it.
she knows with near 100% certainly that her friend and fiancé will be in our lives forever.
Your friend has been in your life for 10 years. He will 100% be in your life forever, unless you decide to trash your friendship for your selfish gf.
I was in a similar situation, but it was my sisters wedding. I was upset when I realised the date, a small selfish part of me wanted him to be there BUT it was never a question that he would be attending his friends wedding.
When we broke up, because life was pulling us in opposite directions.
His friend was the one who took him in, and took care of him. I didn't check in with him, but would talk to his friend to make sure he was ok. Because he was a sensitive guy who struggled with being openly vulnerable.
I'm trying to imagine if I'd stopped him going to his friends wedding.
He never would have reached out to him, or had that support because he'd feel so guilty about not being there that it would make him change how he treated his friend.
Friendships are so important, your GF knows this, unfortunately she doesn't value your friendships or relationships.
Your relationship isn't guaranteed.
I'm trying to imagine making my ex feel the way your gf is making you feel, and it actually makes me feel so sad.
The best friend vs good friend debate is unnecessary. You've been good friends for 10 years, he falls into best friend territory.
This is a situation I'd consider speaking to him about.
Text him, tell him her best friends wedding is on the same day so she can't come and you will be there.
Partners support eachother, this is an obvious case of you both go solo. The fact that she expects you to miss out on a huge life event of someone important in your life, who is part of your support network. Is a massive red flag.
If you don't attend his wedding, there will be issues in that friendship of yours. Your friend is like family. If you break up, who would you expect/want to show up for you? If your friend is on the list, then you shouldn't even be considering going to her best friends wedding.
This is an obvious case of you go solo.
The fact that you're so anxious about this, and the text is making you feel this way should be a massive eye opener for you. This woman doesn't love you the way you love her, her love is selfish yours isn't.
You don't make people you love, go through things like this. She wouldn't abandon her friend so why should you abandon yours.
Do NOT abandon your friends wedding. If you guys break up, you will have ruined your relationship with a really good friend for nothing.
Hey, I really do appreciate this comment and perspective. You're right that I'm not really giving it enough time and could just “get over it”. As I mentioned in another comment, I always convince myself that I'm overreacting, so I sometimes just want outside perspectives to help process my feelings. After this whole situation, it's clear I need to revisit therapy
Not to shame, but I personally find puffer jackets to be extremely ugly. I hate how they look lol. Just find the difference in perception funny.
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