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You royally screwed up.
And other than going to the police and filling a report for blackmail and hoping they can do something about it there is nothing you can do.
You were completely stupid to agree to having a sex tape made – regardless of if you were cheating or not (I don’t think you were as you were separated) it is something that you never wanted to see the light of day, and you not only allowed it to happen, but you gave control of it to him.
So police, or suck it up and hope it never sees the light of day.
If ya want the naked mid 20s girl, you're gonna have to throw down the funds. Just how it goes. Neither her nor her friends are going to have the jobs to support that sort of lifestyle, but you should to her.
your actions show otherwise
You fucked around and found out. He's still talking to you because you're using manipulative tactics to keep him talking to you.
Do you often defend your attackers?
I STG almost every top comment or highly upvoted comment I read in this sub always involves one of two things which is either blaming a partner or grooming or cheating and followed by “you need to leave them”. OP very clearly explained she has a shitty home life, ever thought maybe she used him as a means to escape that home life? Sometimes one shitty situation is better then another. Quite frankly I don’t blame her for not being able to leave. Sometimes the devil you know is better then the devil you don’t.
For further context when I was 19 my 16 year old girlfriend moved in with me cause her mom was abusing her. Was I grooming my gf at the time? No. My parents had the ability to offer her a safe space and they did just that. Y’all gotta stop watching so many murder documentaries and conspiracy theory videos and realize that not every guy is trying to groom a girl
No need to be sorry!
First step is finding out why you feel this way. You can't fix the what until you know why. I wish I could be more help than that, but doing some inward thinking (and maybe even talking to her about it so you can work together to make it work?) Would help a lot.
I've dated someone who told me his friends were more important than me. Seeing that the relationship is a lost cause means there's no point putting effort into it because it's isn't going to last forever like his friendships will. Cut your losses this is not a battle worth fighting for.
I’m not sure what changed.. l
He hasn’t mentioned it at all, so idk what his perspective is
This doesn’t have to be a mystery or guessing. Why haven’t you discussed it with him? Go discuss it with him. What are you waiting for?
Which is probably why none of them are with you.
Where did you get this info? I’m so vested in this ??♀️
Your not asking for advice. Your asking for us to turn your wife on for you.
I agree and it'd be over for me.
So he emotionally cheated for a year, truly a great guy.
When i was a teenager, I developed chronic nausea. It was awful and completely killed my libido. But it was at its worst when I was trying to be intimate with my gf. I never told her, of course and I cold never figure out why it was so bad. But it meant that while I had sex because I wanted to make her happy, I got absolutely no enjoyment out of it.
The nausea came from chronic illness above all else, but it was definitely worse from trying to be with my gf. And eventually, when we broke up because I finally admitted I was loosing my feelings for her, the nausea also got a bit better. Or at least, more controllable.
I asked my pediatrician about it one time because I felt like I was broken somehow and he told me that it's likely a symptom of stress. I was getting stressed at the thought of being with my ex, I felt uncomfortable having sex with her so that was stressing me too and even if I didn't realise it consciously, I was getting sick because my mind already knew we weren't working and trying to power through it was a farce.
I've had sex since then with people I didn't really love or people that I was annoyed by, but liked having sex with. I only experienced this again once and broke up in short order with the guy. He turned out to be an abusive prick the second I started to leave him.
Consider your nausea an unpleasant, built in defense system.
I don’t know that there’s a way to “work through”his urge to sext guys together