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Please. He's single at work. With only those who need to know hr isn't thar does.
No 1. this should not be happening to you in a relationship. Your boyfriend should be doing this and you need to stop engaging in sexual activity with any partner who does not respect your body. You are so young, and are at the start of what should be a beautiful and empowering sex life, where you experience what you want and need. Him doing this to you now could ultimately colour your future relationships, and leave you with psychological hang ups regarding sex in future relationships. No 2. In regards to your pain, it may be caused only by your partners actions, however, if it is continuing for days after you have had sex, maybe it could be a warning sign that there is something going on with you health wise. Pain during sex – deep pain that went towards my bum and lasted for days – was one of the symptoms that ultimately led me to being diagnosed with endometriosis. I am absolutely not suggesting that this is happening to you, but maybe check out the other symptoms of this condition – it affects 1 in 10 women – it may be something to bring up with your doctor when you visit, if you feel it might be something that fits with you. Finally – as I said, I have also experienced terrible pain during sex, and my husband’s response was to stop – because he loves me. There is no pleasure for him if I am in pain.
Anything you can’t do in front of your significant other is cheating.
I do agree it was most likely age. I also do believe that this happened for a reason. It’s my overthinking that gets to me. I hate bringing my past into current situations because it’s an excuse. I do believe I may truly love this current girl and she has told me she has already. I am just scared but I am willing to take a leap of faith and only my actions can prove it.
She identifies it as a problem and is trying to get into therapy
we love eachother differently
You might not be compatible. That is ok. Neither of you are in the wrong – that's life and dating sometimes!
I know it feels that he is everything right now, but you are young. If this ends, you will be ok! You will love again and you will love someone who wants to have sex with you and with whom you feel that connection again.
Thanks for looking over my list. If it’s ok with you, can you specify why some of the cons are terrible. I want to be able to have supporting reasons for them and write them down in a notebook so that I can talk to my boyfriend about it
unfortunately that is what a lot of women are used to in their relationships ? even outside of the stay at home wife types. i work in healthcare and all my 25-55 y/o nurse co-workers are like yeah my husband doesn’t get me anything/i buy the stuff for myself/i buy everything for our kids and his side of the family and he doesn’t do anything.
She is definitely into you and dropping hints left and right!
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i’m done with this convo its alright
I'm trying to! But i can't keep it short if she keeps on prolonging things.
I would not say anything People change if they think you have money.
Now if relationship develops into marry me lets plan a future then tell the person and do a prenup.
Plus what you do have will not last long. You should incest in land and a house.
Girl you’re 30. Find a man.
Block her.
Don't tell her NUFFIN! let her suffer! Also tell your friends and family that if they facilitate any communication from her to you, you'll ghost their asses too.
Ok, I'm going to ask a question here. Why does it matter? Is she allowed to have male friends that she hugs? Is she allowed to have female friends that she hugs? Is she allowed to have any physical contact with either gender, period? Your jealousy and your trust issues aren't your girlfriend's problem. I've been married for nearly 18 years and I have friends of both genders that I hug and my husband had friends of both genders that he hugs and neither of us care. Having a hand or an around the waist means nothing if you trust your partner!
So I am sure I will get lots of downvotes from people that have the opposite view, but I was in a similar situation and got an abortion and don't regret it at all.
Yeah she likes you!!
I feel like 90% of the posts in this sub boil down to this
I see where you are coming from, but feel if the genders were swapped, this would be body shaming and cancelled.
Men have insecurities too and we should not be shamed for having them.
Find another guy to date. If he is trying to change you on the first date, i can't imagine what he would be like in a relationship months from now. That's a red flag if there ever was one.
Everything is screaming “DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMAN”
You are her second choice, she will always value Mark & his feelings, wants, needs, opinions & everything else important in a relationship, over yours. You will never be her first choice, you are 2nd place to Mark. No amount of couples therapy will ever make the leech, I mean Mark give you the proper space you need in this relationship, only your partner can tell Mark to beat it & get his own place but she obviously will NEVER do that.
Don’t have children with this woman, you’ll end up being called uncle & she’ll have them calling Mark their dad if your partner has her way. Don’t do this to yourself, don’t stay in this unhealthy, utterly one sided relationship any longer. You’ve wasted enough of your time in a competition with Mark that you never even wanted to be in, so don’t waste another second in that mess.
You could make the argument she manipulated him. They clearly had a conversation where he said he didn’t want kids, and she conveniently left out “I really want kids and also I don’t want to use any birth control but it’s okay because I never got pregnant in the past so I must be infertile” during that conversation. Especially when she says in the OP this is the man she’s loved for over a decade. Almost sounds like she said what he wanted to hear and figured she could change his mind over time. He still messed up, he’s responsible for nutting in someone unprotected and not getting a vasectomy, but this is definitely a situation where BOTH parties are going to feel wronged regardless of what happens.
But if OP has always wanted kids, I really hope she keeps her child. She’ll never forgive herself if she ends up with no boyfriend and no kids.
thank you for this! I love your comment and I agree completely with what you're saying and i too believe that will happen if I stay. I think in the US, money receiving may work differently? But I had genuinely opened up my bank account to see I had received a $130 payment from my partner. I was like “oh wow nice”. Then not even 30 mins later received the toxic message from him, where I then decided to immediately send back the money with no message attached. Who knows how long ago he had sent it but I didn't want it if there were strings attached! xx
Your 22, go on more dates.
All I'm hearing is that he's fucking someone else and this is the tale he's spinning to make you feel like you're losing anything else but dead weight when this ends.
And it absolutely should end.
She's partially right. You have no right to know her past sex partners or sexual activity. Right up until it involves one of your close friends. Then, it becomes lying and sketchy, “what-else-is-she-lying-about” behavior that bring her integrity into question. And I'd be pretty pissed at the “friend” for not telling you as well.
To be clear, she's not wrong for having a history with your friend; she's wrong for lying about it (yes, in this case, it's a lie by omission, but it's still 100% a lie).
Literally head empty no thought logic. I don't understand how people like you get into relationships, you're clearly using her. Leaver her alone, and mind your business, no woman should be subjected to your tomfoolery.
Bills should be proportional to income; chores should be proportional to free time.
You should be splitting bills 38-62 based on how much more you make. Make it easier, call it 40:60. So, out of the $3280 you listed for expenses, she should be paying 1312 and you should be paying 1968.
Then there's free time. You mention she starts work at 8, you start work “before 9” and you both finish at 5. So far, pretty even. I suspect you'll end up with another 60:40 split for chores, this time in your favor, but the way you describe your weekend work schedules makes that unclear.
>I take her out on dates whenever she asks, I bring flowers if she asks, and I plan for our future together
That's shit you do for your partner because you love her, not as a quid pro quo for her doing your laundry. Take that out of the equation entirely.
You're assuming they didn't talk about kids, and having them in general, or anything else to make this point. And it absolutely is an assumption, because OP hasn't answered that question when asked. You're also assuming she's been a liar and that's why her relationship with the kids dad ended. Which is a) sexist, and b) ignores that it may have been a good reason for her to leave, or maybe the kids dad died, or maybe it's an adopted nephew, or maybe it's a sperm donor situation, or anything. It's just all assumptions to fit your narrative.
If she had a kid, asked him how he'd feel about kids, he said he's childfree, and she kept dating him seriously but hid the child, then yes, she's in the wrong. And if she deliberately avoided the topic of kids entierly in an attempt to hide the kid, then yes, she's also in the wrong.
But if they talked about it, he said he'd be fine with it, or even better if she isn't actually serious about him and he's just fun for her to hang out with and bang or someone she's trying to figure out if she actually even likes and yet he's taking this all way too seriously, for instance, then your point is as invalid as it is full of assumptions.
Oh fuck no.
You talk to your fiancée and come to an agreement on what exactly to tell your MIL. Your fiancée needs to be the one to MIL and unless she wants you there for support, you stay out of it.
But the gist should be 1 it’s our life, our way of dealing with the stresses of life and it’s working for us 2 you are a GUEST in our home, so start acting like it or you will not be welcomed back 3 return the PlayStation now, or pack your stuff and walk the fuck out of the front door
You know what they say about assuming things…
Danger all over the place with that word.
This is a big red flag and it sounds like brining a baby into this dynamic isn’t the best choice. This will probably get worse the more you try and fight it, maybe just think if this is working.
That's true of every relationship.
Probably not a red flag. But hopefully he isn’t ‘utilizing’ daily (or more)
Yep which means if they ever have to find an apartment “together” it will be GF doing all the work while manbaby utilises weaponised incompetence
Idk I mean he doesn’t study or do hw except like once a week and he doesn’t have to get try really very hot since he’s not going to grad school
You are going to regret all of this for a guy whose name you are gonna forget in 5 years. Go to school.
He should probably move out on his own before he moves in with you. I know it would be convenient to just move in together but you would have to be willing to have a very firm conversation and ask how exactly he sees the chores split working out. At the very least you will not be doing laundry, you each do your own laundry. He needs to do 1 hour of chores per day, non negotiable.. that includes cooking dinner so it’s not really that much.. can catch up on the weekend if necessary. Would be curious to see what he says to that.
Wow. Interesting. Why are you entertaining spending the next 60 years with someone who is cheating and lying to you? When you have kids, how will you know they’ll be yours? When she goes out for a girl’s night, how do you know she won’t be on a date? How.. how could you even believe this person can be a good life partner to you? What makes your self worth not high enough to immediately confront her and tell her what a piece of shit she is? Obviously it’s not you, it’s her, but.. you’re also a part of the problem now. In being here and asking Reddit this question, instead of packing up your stuff in a cardboard box and looking forward to the rest of your life without a cheating, lying piece of crap.
I know, it’s fucking pathetic to be “competing” with a dog for him. But at this point it’s more that I’ve had to take on all of the emotional weight for months on end now. And im starting to fall apart because of it. I literally lost my only other trans relative to suicide and I was still the one supporting him… this whole situation feels impossible because there isn’t even anyone to blame besides the fucking Sun..
A lot of bedroom locks don't have key entry, more for keeping it locked while you're in there.
This is my own personal bias.
I would leave and divorce my husband of nearly a decade, whom I love immoderately and is my world, if he did anything violent, verbally or physically, no matter how intoxicated or not he was.
And I’m a big stocky dude. I don’t fuck around with that shit. Zero tolerance.
What is her reason for this? Ask her about it. Yes, have a confrontation, as she does have a specific reason.
Begin by telling her you can't stop thinking about it. Tell her that you feel insecure, as there must be a reason for her wanting to stay at that hotel. In addition to her birthday being that day, and you not being invited that day, tell her that yes you start to distrust her, and you hope she can see why. You can elaborate telling that trust is built and maintained, and she is in fact doing something suspicious.
Ask her, is this event worth sabotaging your trust in her? Tell her how long you have been together, and ask her if you have been controlling to her. Since you weren't told her, you wouldn't act like that unless you had a good reason. Tell her unless she compromises with you, she might permanently undermine your trust in her.
IF she still decides to do as she pleases. Well, what would you do knowing she has cheated on you there? Ask yourself this question.
You need to get your ducks in a row and end this relationship. Do NOT have anymore sexual contact with him. He is clearly confused about what he wants. He’s not ready to be honest with himself yet, so he’s certainly not going to be honest with you at this point.
I’d say it’s ok to judge your cheating alcoholic mother.
You can also forgive her but not let her back in your life.
“Appreciate the offer, but church isn't for me. Let's hang out after if you're free.”