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Ugh this is so ridiculous. It’s one name on a list of names for them, but the only name your mom has ever wanted her to dog to have. Why just people look for and crate drama and hurt feelings??
I don’t know how you avoid drama. I handle this kind of thing by telling them I think the whole matter is silly and we won’t be discussing it or causing drama at a special occasion.
He left you. Don’t know what you want help with but it’s obvious he dumped you.
Is it possible the way he has sex with you is putting your sex drive down being pressured and degraded seems like a good way to drive someone’s libido down. Tell him he needs to change or you will leave or put a damn chastity belt on unironically. Sounds like you might need to talk to someone to help you realize what normal behaviors are.
Divorce , he is too old for you and abusive. It will destroy your body doing this. Go to a shelter if you need to, the man has no love for you and you deserve real love. He is not entitled to sex of any kind stop doing the 'chore'.
Go to therapy and figure out why you were willing to be in a relationship like that
Veteran here. Just realize that you being active duty impacts her career path and earnings along with her contribution to raising kids and supporting the demands of being a military spouse.
If you go down this path you’ll need to compensate/protect her with this in mind.