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You need to tell both of these men the truth.
First of all, you need to tell your husband. You're right, it may end your marriage, and it will definitely hurt him terribly. But secrets like this do not stay secret forever, and you are shockingly naive if you think that both of these men being “white males” is going to be foolproof. What if your child has a blood type that is incompatible with your husband's? What if your child ends up having a genetic medical condition related to their biological father? How about just the fact that your child deserves to KNOW that they have a whole other bio father and family?
Most importantly, your husband deserves the right and the respect from you to make an informed decision about what he wants to do in this situation.
If you don't tell your husband, you are stealing the rest of his life from him. It doesn't matter that you were planning to have children. He did not consent to raise someone else's child with you, a child that you conceived while cheating on him, and not even for the first time. You don't get to take his choices away from him.
Secondly, you need to tell your ex because the only thing as morally reprehensible as not telling your husband that you are carrying another man's child, is not telling that other man that he has a child in this world, a child that he has as much legal right to parent as you do. Having the child or not is your choice. But once you choose to have it, that baby's biological father has rights, and you don't get to arbitrarily decide to remove them.
And frankly, the hypocrisy of you arguing that you don't want to tell him because he's “toxic” is staggering, given that you're a married woman who is pregnant by him after cheating with him for the second time in your marriage. Has it not occurred to you that perhaps you're not exactly one to judge “toxicity” in someone else? You're literally suggesting that you hide the fact that someone has a kid from them because they might “make it tough for” you? Girl, that doesn't make him the toxic one. Why shouldn't he fight for involvement in his own child's life?
I'm going to stop here, to keep things civil, but right now your take on this whole thing is deeply selfish, shockingly immature, and the opposite of the behaviour you should be modeling as a future mother. My heart honestly goes out to both of these men. Fix this. Tell them the truth. It's literally the bare minimum you can do, from an ethical standpoint.
Sadly having been there I can tell you in my experience it gets worse not better. To me it seems to be a mixture of immaturity and insecurity. We lived about a mile apart and my ex got all sorts of angry when she didn't see me everyday, even the day I was at home with the norovirus filling up a bucket with vomit.
A very boring way of helping the situation be less rubbish is get a joint diary and write in social events as far ahead as possible. There'll still be problems but I found it does take the sting out of their argument if they have known about it for weeks.