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Your TL;DR is exactly what you need to say to your boyfriend. Communication is key.
He’s pushing your boundaries to see how much abusive behaviour you’ll accept. He, a person with sufficient money, steals from you, a person with less. And instead of doing this only once, apologising immediately and paying you back immediately, he is holding the money over your head, only to eventually repay you (otherwise he’d look bad), and calling you words that one simply does not say to a loved one.
And you are here, feeling YOU should be nicer. You’re underreacting. You have a right not to have him steal from you (cancel that card now!). You have a right not to be called names.
Please break up with him, spend your money on yourself, and surround yourself with people who actually like you.
The part about taking a break is gross enough, but what really bothers me is the way he said “you might get assaulted, and I don't want to babysit you”. The way he said it makes it sound like to him, you getting assaulted would be an inconvenience. And instead of being willing to protect you against any assailants because he loves you, to him it sounds like it would be a chore. Do want you want, but you deserve a guy who actually respects and loves you. This one sounds like a tool.