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Now is the time to get a lawyer to ensure you have no parental responsibilities and possibly a restraining order. Even moving to another country will likely not stop any legal action affecting you, which should be your main concern now.
Nah dont blame your anger with your wife being ill on the NHS. It also doesn't explain your utter disregard for your wife
he was with you in an asian pedophilic fetish kind of way. i’m 19 now and i can tell you that i would NEVER want to date a 15 year old, as the age difference and child-adult relationship even now is too much, so for him to want to date you and see hard pics of you at 15 and 16 is creepy, way out of line and illegal. it would be just a bit creepy if you started dating at 18 and 24 as that’s still a significant maturity gap but the fact that it started when you were 15 is way way worse.
It’s important to note she could have been discovered by a another coworker and she was forced to blow the cover, but she “trickle-truthed” you the information. We’re there weekend conventions out of town where you did not attend? Late night dinners at restaurant-bars where you did not attend? Questionable times where her entire chat history is gone? Dead phones before she came back from work? This can either be the simplest little problem and you can work through it amazingly or just the tip of an iceberg. I’d tread carefully.
You're trying to rebuild a relationship with your daughter on sand, since a necessary precondition would be patching up your relationship with your wife or getting separated. Unfortunately, you will have to address the elephant in the room.
But there’s this storm cloud overhead that’s super conflicting… I’ve bounced around career choices since college, thought I wanted to be a teacher then didn’t so I nannied and now I’m back in a school working as a teachers aide making pennies on the dollar basically but it is something I love. I know I can’t afford to keep doing this for long tho. My bf wants me to get certified so I can make over double pay. There’s def some psychological trauma with that process- over 2 separate times I have tried and sunk in hours, blood sweat and tears, and thousands of dollars into trying my damn hardest to get certified but I’m not a good test taker and it’s an extremely discouraging battle for me. He has officially come out with it and said he won’t propose to me unless I get my certification to teach done first! Sometimes i think I’m ready to try a 3rd time but hearing him say that hurts like hell- likes it’s a conditional love and idk if I want to be stubborn or suck it up and do it.
Ok so first of all: There is no such thing as unconditional love, unless it’s your child. You expecting him to do that is unrealistic. You will need to let go of that, because it’s perfectly reasonable for him to want you to have your career sorted out at age 30, and to be able to financially contribute to your partnership.
Read this sub for long enough, and you’ll see scores of stories about people, both men and women, who lock down their partners then take that as a license to laze around and do nothing while their partners take up the slack. That’s not ok, and it is perfectly ok for him to want someone who has their life figured out before getting married.
Now that we got that out of the way,
? It turns into a fight every time it gets brought up and I’m over it!
You need to stop fighting about this. His boundary is reasonable, but you don’t only have one option. You can:
Work with a medical doctor and therapist to figure out what your mental block is related to test taking. Get an assessment for depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc. to determine what therapies/medications are appropriate. Then suck it up and take the test.
I know you said you love teaching. But if that’s not in the cards for you, then what else can you do that will allow you to financially contribute and that you will enjoy enough to stick with it ? Can you tutor, go back to nannying, do volunteer work as a teacher while you pursue another career path ? Something to think about.
His boundary is reasonable. At age 30, you do need to get your shit together, and if it’s a medical/psychological reason, then you have options to help. If you can’t pass the teaching cert, then you have to look at other career options. You are not stuck !! Stop getting defensive and start working on overcoming this mental block, or finding something else fulfilling that you can do.
Tomorrow, make an appointment with a doctor, and ask to be evaluated for the conditions listed above and others. If the doctor recommends medication, take it. You may need to experiment with a few different meds/combinations but don’t give up. And then, make an appointment with a good therapist who specializes in CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Thearpy), because I think there is some self-fulfilling negative self-talk that’s holding you back.
You have work to do, so go do it – and stop fighting. Stop defending. Go on the offensive with the doctor/therapist and work with your fiancé on this. He deserves that and so do you !
idk what u expect, the cultural aspect of Islam is like this w men and women. women are considered on a lower level then men and expected to bend to the man's will. don't be surprised once he expects u to wear a hijab whether u want to or not.
Not really. Sounds like you're just making excuses for people who lack self-control and the ability to care about their partners.
That sounds like a solid bet. I had like 3 trips planned when I got together with my guy and I ended up dropping them all. Super happy I did, he's amazing. He would have been fine with me going anyways but there was no way in hell I was disrespecting a guy this good just to hang out with some ex f buddies.
I'm sorry he isn't being a very good partner. What does he say when you have brought all this up to him?
It’s your house, not your kid. You are a weirdo and apparently never been around kids lol
Your husband is a moron. And insecure and maybe many other words. You don’t define yourself by putting others around you down.
Nah I would of gone off my step dad case tf y’all the same age ??♀️??♀️
My petty ass would of said “ Magen your the pedophile here “ and walk out on them ??♀️
Being together in a relationship is one of those things that requires 2 people to say “Yes” to enthusiastically or there is no relationship. If even 1 of you disagrees there is no relationship.
Just leave him. Don’t let him know where you are and block him on all of your social media.
Why are you living with this man? That’s so scary. Omg. I’m sorry. Dark jokes about rape or killing you for example are not funny and not ok.
Sounds like that’s not the real issue but she’s using it to cover whatever her real issue is. 99% of people would be happy for you.
No you’re definitely not being pushy or overly emotional, it is a completely human response to expect the father of your child to also be a parent and contribute to raising your child. Unfortunately there isn’t a quick fix, he’s going to have to realize what he’s doing is wrong and want to change. Has he always had a problem with neglecting you and playing video games instead?
OP really needs to read this response. this is very good, level-headed advice. it’s a lot more than I would do because I think I’d kick him to the curb & go no-contact, but this response lays out both options of working it out or breaking up very well.
OP this is worth the read. ??