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My wife and I used to wrestle and play fight on the couch until once we bonked heads, really fucking hard. She had a headache for 3 days and my neck was stiff for a week. We confine our wrestling to the bed now.
Thank you for your opinion. ? From my perspective and how my family sees it is like having a glass of wine or a beer, not something that is inherently wrong or bad. Always good to hear alternative perspectives
I think the awkwardness was ya pride being shattered …
God forbid she ever reflect on herself for a single second. Good riddance to her.
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Because your skin glands always work producing sweat and grease, and because you have the whole biome permanently living in your skin
I vote gay!
He should have burned that letter
Talk to a lawyer.
So she gets off on rejecting you and now doesn’t have that power play anymore? Wild. I’m commenting late so you’ve already edited. I’m glad you’re taking time to rethink things. Anyone who’d ask you to stop taking meds (that are clearly helping you) just to assuage their own ego can’t possibly love you.
I just went back and read the original post and OP, I’ve got to say that I would 100% leave this relationship if my new husband treated me the way you treated her.
What the actual fuck is wrong with your mom? Starting multiple fights on the day of your wedding? Then you leave your new wife to go see your parents after she tells you she doesn’t want you to, who again have just started fights on your wedding day?
She has every right to decide she doesn’t want to be a part of your fucked up family dynamic. “Oh I know my mom is a narcissistic mess but I just ignore her when she’s being mean to people I love”. your wife is right that she deserves to have in-laws that care about her, or at the very least don’t attack her on her fucking wedding day. She’s right to say she wants a peaceful relationship with her in laws, for her sake and any future kids sake.
You should have told your mom to leave the second she started her bullshit. You didn’t. You showed your wife that at the end of the day you will allow your mother to treat her badly under the cover of “she’s just like that and I don’t see her a lot”.
Asking for no contact was the least of what your wife could have asked you to do and you still didn’t do it. Why would she ever want to see your mom again after what she pulled? Why would you? She ruined your wedding and it seems like you only care because of the fallout with your wife, not because your mom ruined what was supposed to be a happy day.
She’s upset right now and crying because she loves you. But she doesn’t want to be treated badly by your family, or by you when you fail to stand up for her. She deserves better.
This doesn't sound like a good relationship, don't stay with her
You know what would have saved this turning into a fight, putting your bowls in the dishwasher as soon as you were done using them instead of leaving them laying around. It's not that hard, she shouldn't need to remind you.
He had absolutely no evidence whatsoever nor any reason to believe that she was cheating, yet he trusted the words of someone with very clear ulterior motives over his own wife.
What happens the next time he decides to accuse her of cheating? Because there will be a next time. Will she keep going back over and over again? That can't possibly be a better life for a kid than divorced parents and the potential mediocre stepparent.
I can see him accusing her again if she doesn't feel like sex right after giving birth, or if she takes too long to answer a text because she's busy taking care of a baby.
And I see a real possibility of her husband becoming controlling, because if he's so easily convinced that she was cheating on him then he didn't have much trust in her to begin with.
i don’t mind porn, i hate sex but i thinks it more the fact that he was hiding it
If she's snoring all night every night it's a medical issue. She most likely has sleep apnea and needs a CPAP machine. Suggesting a doctor should not be a last resort. She needs to make an appointment with her doctor TODAY.
The way she's acting is incredibly selfish. Maybe since it's affecting your sleep, spend a night just constantly waking her up. Every time she starts snoring shake her awake and say, “you're snoring roll over”. Each and every time. Then in the morning when she complains that she's tired because you kept her up, tell her, “no kidding. Welcome to my world” This is bizarre to me that she's not doing anything about it, and it's a red flag.
My husband snores and when it started it lasted about a week before he started trying ways to fix it. The fact that she's not and doesn't care that your quality of life is declining just tells me she doesn't care about YOU. This is bigger than the snoring.
Even if she doesn't see you as an uncle, she can understand that just because she might be interested in something, it doesn't mean that the other person wants to indulge her.
Why is every post I see from this subreddit about a younger woman with an older man
I mean not necessarily? I’ve been married for 20 years, my husband would be able to contact my parents and sister with his phone but not either of my jobs or some of my friends, and he doesn’t have social media so would need to get on my phone to post anything regarding my health condition on there too. Guess I need to make him a list or something?
I mean not necessarily? I’ve been married for 20 years, my husband would be able to contact my parents and sister with his phone but not either of my jobs or some of my friends, and he doesn’t have social media so would need to get on my phone to post anything regarding my health condition on there too. Guess I need to make him a list or something?
I mean not necessarily? I’ve been married for 20 years, my husband would be able to contact my parents and sister with his phone but not either of my jobs or some of my friends, and he doesn’t have social media so would need to get on my phone to post anything regarding my health condition on there too. Guess I need to make him a list or something?
She sounds toxic. You can do better.
Your situation comes down to 2 options.
Split up so you can be free of the anguish you’re experiencing by letting him explore. Painful up front, but then it’s out of your life. Steele yourself and let him
Because this genie is out of the bottle. It was going to emerge sooner or later anyway, that he would start acknowledging this in himself. And IMO, thus far, you’ve handled it very well. Probably the best way it could be. Would he shove the genie back in the bottle, for you? Probably. At least for a time. But it won’t really go away. He would be likely to either start hiding things from you (which is way worse), or simply come to resent you or your marriage for being the thing preventing him from ever experiencing it.
You may not be cut out for bisexual non-monogamy in your relationship. Or it could be just the emotional stumbling blocks of unfamiliarity. You’re the only one that can determine that. But for what it’s worth, I have personal knowledge of more than an average number of married/committed relationships where the husband’s bisexuality wasn’t acknowledged until well after their relationship was established. In the ones that stayed together, the husbands have “kitchen passes” of varying degrees. So it can work. For two couples I know it’s worked for decades. They have adult children and seemingly very happy marriages. The husband just gets to see his “friend(s)” sometimes. In one case the friend is a known friend that hangs out with them both. They often socialize together, even openly acknowledging the situation in certain company. in the other case the husband takes a couple weekend trips each year, he fills her in on some details after the fact, because he’s excited to share his fun time and she likes hearing about it, but she doesn’t want to be involved any closer than that.
What you DON’T want, which I’m unfortunately aware of (and wish I wasn’t), and is not rare…is a bisexual husband that either tried to approach his wife about it and got shut down, or never brought it up at all with her, due to his own shame or anticipating a jealous response…indulging in male-male trysts, for YEARS, with the poor wife being completely unaware. Those guys disgust me. I won’t associate with them personally because of it. I can empathize with their situation a little, but their execution is simply indefensible. They’re terrible people for not having the balls to handle it with any integrity, instead of deceiving their spouse and living a double life. They also seem to indulge in the riskiest behavior.
I'll be honest… I'm reading this and I'm absolutely gobsmacked from the get go.
Don't take this the wrong way OP, but I have a suspicion that this is potentially your first BF, and thus you're lacking some experience when it comes to signs and knowing what you should/shouldn't put up with.
This means whenever he sees an attractive woman, he will always point her out and describe what he specifically finds attractive about her.
I couldn't even fathom the idea of doing this… It's like he's rubbing it in your face that he's staring down other women. Of course, we look. Committed or not, we all look at people we find attractive. What most people don't do is then openly rub that in and state why we find them attractive to our partners.
The problem is I am a very thin and petite woman with barely any curves. Im super flat, I especially have no butt.
This isn't a problem by any means. Everyone has their own build. As long as you are a healthy weight, it's perfectly fine.
My ex would fit this description quite well. Thin, small breasts and butt. Very subtle curves (which was more than she thought she had: None). She was also quite open about her worries when it came to what her body looked like. What any decent partner would do in this situation is build the other person up, reassure them, tell them they're beautiful.
There are men out there who like your body type and will absolutely make sure you know they do.
I decided that the only way I could feel confident with myself ever again is if I were to get a BBL
You shouldn't need such a drastic change to please anyone. I wouldn't go as far as saying you shouldn't change, because, ultimately, we all have something bad about ourselves that we should work to change. That and compromise is part of a relationship.
I'm not saying you shouldn't have a BBL, ultimately, if you've given it a lot of thought and you're absolutely sure that's something you want to do, more power to you, your body, your choice.
I seriously can’t get as intimate with him anymore since I break down whenever I undress in front of him now.
This tells me that he's not doing what I mentioned earlier. He isn't building you up or reassuring you. This should give you insight as to how much he actually cares about you.
It also keeps me up at night knowing if Kylie Jenner or someone that looks like her were to offer my boyfriend sex he would probably have to fight really naked to resist such a temptation. I cant sit with this very well.
So, my take on this is that you think there's a very real possibility he'd take the chance… In other words, you don't trust him.
Honestly…
The man has done nothing but break you down, you don't trust him. You deserve better and no relationship can survive without trust. Once the trust is gone, it's over. Get rid and get yourself a proper gentleman while you're young. You don't want to waste your time with guys like him and then end up turning around in your 30's regretting your life decisions.
Yeah, I already told you, leave if you want. And it does sound like you want to. Sounds like you're tired of her beyond repair.
Only she can answer that question and right now she's not ready to. Give her space 59 work on herself while you do the same. If y'all are meant to be together then it will happen.
I’m sorry this happened to you!
Your gf is shifting the blame onto her therapist instead of herself. I bet her therapist never said that at all. She is gaslighting and deflecting hard af.
From the comments it seems you don’t object to the idea. I love the scent of my partner, not just her lady parts but all of her. I don’t think this is necessarily weird but I think it’s pretty bold to ask for panties that soon. I’m middle-aged and square though.
I’m gonna be honest, I really don’t think a month is what will do it. There were a lot of red flags (from you mostly). I admire your will to change but it’s going to take a lot more than a month. A lot of your opinions are formulated by social media and the fact that it’s TikTok you’re getting advice from is alarming. You blew a fuse at him watching porn yet moments later you want to retaliate by downloading hinge?
Yes you should keep seeing your therapist and working on your OCD. It’s making your thoughts irrational. Also you’re not crazy, you’re not a bad person.
Sounds like the change in your sex life aligns with the start of the school year. Sounds like maybe she’s overwhelmed. What’s different this year at her job that is requiring her to stay so late?
I was guessing escort. Don't sweat it, you are much more open minded than most here.
So she told you she kissed another man and would have had sex with him if it wasn’t for you? Have some self respect and leave. That’s ridiculous.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. But I don't think you should tell her. You should confide in a friend and let her live her life and heal, as you said. Telling her would impede her ability to heal, which is what you want for her. I hope you find peace soon..
Thanks for your advice.
Or you know, sitcoms.
Get some therapy. Not just for your sake but for your friends and family. This isn't a curse, this is you needing to work on yourself and stop lashing out at other people.
He has chosen to leave because of your attitude. Leave him be and start working on yourself.
We can talk about your ideas to on your post! The one you can make about the issues that are on your mind. Or, you can DM me and we can chat there! But, I’d still like to see what you look like.
Also, if you could, I’d love to know what you think of my hair. You have very strong opinions, so I can count on you for honesty! I have pics on my page 🙂
Unlikely. If shes concerned she should take a pregnancy test and consider additional birth control
It would tell me that they are in a lot of pain. I wouldn’t start dating someone knowing this. He needs help, not a new girlfriend.
You need to look out for yourself and be your biggest advocate.
He’s 12 years older than you and trying to take advantage of your vulnerability. Cut him off and do not let your daughter anywhere near him. This creep screams Groomer.
That's understandable. He threatened to punch a toddler. Your initial response was fueled by a desire to protect your son. You did the right thing in the moment.
But the moment has passed and your response needs to reflect that.
It's a crappy position to be in. I'm sorry I came off so judgemental. Best of luck to you.
It’s not ghosting to miss a single text from somebody. Forget about it
I guess one thing that worries me is that the way he's acted so far seems really unpredictable. I don't know if that's the right word. What I mean is, I would expect someone who is scared of being outed to want to pretend it never happened which is what I would have preferred too. I wouldn't expect them to escalate things like he has done or be openly hostile so much that other people have noticed. I'm scared of him because I have no clue how he's going to react to anything and some of the things he's said and done so far have been horrible and honestly quite weird and messed up. Normally, I would expect someone to back off if they were scared of other people finding out but he's not acting normally. I don't know if that makes sense. Me being uncomfortable with the idea of outing someone or threatening to is one part of it but I'm also really uneasy which might be dramatic but it's true.
Put your own shit away. You’re a grown-ass man. If you leave something out you lose privileges to put it where you want it.
If you need it for tomorrow, put it in your bag. If you need to know where it is, find a proper place for it.
Are you fucken illiterate? What post did you read?
Did you make a mistake – no.
Does she think she made a mistake – yes.
So just move on. She’ll either decide she wants to talk with you or not, and if she comes to hat decision before you find someone else, then maybe you can have a relationship together.
Actually, the fact that he’s falling all over your girlfriend after her poor kitty died and ignored you. The one time you really needed him is exactly probably why you’re uncomfortable. It is exactly the point. It’s inappropriate he doesn’t know her and frankly there’s something wrong with him. At your age is somebody added that weird I probably wouldn’t bring him around my friends again. Just saying.
What are you doing with a 20 year old?
I wouldn’t jump to conclusions that she’s trying to cheat just because she wants to hang out with guy friends – if the relationship is platonic they may very well just be watching movies or hanging out when they spend the night and your gf doesn’t want to cut off that part of the friendship just because she got a boyfriend. That being said if you don’t want a girlfriend who hangs out with guy friends without you you should just break up with her, you can’t control how she hangs out with her friends.
Gonna pass judgement here on him as I did myself. I beat my forearms and biceps black and blue from sperging out on For Honor (a game) when I was 19. I am 24. I cant imagine getting that emotional over games now. It's something thatll disappear with age and perspective, but you're so much better off not sticking it out for 5 years, being generous.
Tell him and go to sleep lol, why are you overthink this?
If your partner can’t make you feel like your body is something wonderful that they have been given the privilege of enjoying then you should revoke that privilege. I have always been the plus side of curvy and dealt with my own insecurities over it. I met my very normal / socially acceptable sized husband when I was a size 18. Married him at a size 22. Now as the years have passed I’m a size 24 and even when I’m my worst critic he lifts me up and tells me he’s lucky. You are too young to waste yourself on someone who doesn’t appreciate you. Get rid of the immature boy who seems to think he’ll keep you if he gets your self esteem so low that you think no one else would ever want you. You are beautiful and deserve a boyfriend who not only makes you feel that way but shows you he feels that way in both action and words.
if the boy will become a man worth being with, he will st b there when you are done with school. Don’t sacrifice your future for him unless you want to stay home while he works.
I still feel it's very unfair to me, but having been in this place once myself, and coming out of it, I've been able to extend more understanding than I would have in the past.
I didn't inform women about him, i did the opposite. I asked the community if they had some information on this guy that i really needed to know.
I didn't accuse him of anything.
Sorry for not including that detail. They were just everyday conversations- what we had been up to for the week, how our weekend was, jobs we were applying for, that sort of thing. We both always instigated contact as well, so it wasn’t just one sided.
I’m guessing that what she found frustrating was my communication style, because nothing stands out to me. But she hasn’t left the door open to discuss it further at this stage.
He's gaslighting you, and you know he's lying to you.
It's only been 6 months, just be grateful this happened sooner rather than later. Dump the jackass.
Happy to help! I only just learned about it the other day, my partner is a chronic nailbiter too! But I’m a chronic mouth/cheek/lip biter & after some googling I found about that & how they are similar! Definitely helped us a lot knowing about it.
It sounds like he might be a bitch.
I know, cheating is always a choice no matter how drunk and desperate you would be. I guess I could also mention that he cosigned my student loan in the US so we’re pretty much tied together for years but I know that cannot be a reason to stay together. I just wish I had used my brain before I jumped into things.
We have had the conversation about our sex lives many times, its kind of a juggle of him not wanting to have sex with me because he's grossed out or I dont want sex with him because I know he's uncomfortable with it ?? its a shit show to say the least.
I mean… you're on Reddit to find out if your wife suddenly telling you she is asexual after marriage is okay… it's not? A bit of experience in the world would have taught you that and if you were older and wiser no way she would try to advantage of you like this. This is one lesson learned the hard way for sure