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You don't need to have a “good enough” reason to end the relationship. Just wanting to not be in the relationship any more is enough, by itself. And it sounds like you don't want to be with him any more
Couples therapy would give her a good neutral setting to relay that and for them to truly understand eachother imo
You don’t want to break up with him and he doesn’t want to break up with her. If he was worried about you being unhappy with their relationship he would’ve ended it with her. But if you haven’t expressed how unhappy you are and keep being nice to her then how would he even know you are unhappy. At this point, you are a thrupple and just needs to accept it. Your BF gets to hang out together with his GF and side piece.
Ok so then he knows it’s not nice or an acceptable thing to say or what a reasonable person would consider a joke. This isn’t some wacky misunderstanding and he knows what he’s doing.
You can’t make him treat you better. All you can control is if you stick around for it.