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Mixing friendship with work is almost never a good idea, especially if one is the boss and espeeeecially if one is the owner.
This is your livelihood, your dream and she is actively trying to tank it. My guess? She's in the “I failed so everyone has to fail” portion of the emotional process.
Personally, I wouldn't try and salvage this friendship, let her know her services are no longer required and you'll need any work provided tools and information.
Did she have to sign a contract or any form of NDA? Because if she's that atrocious there's a chance she goes nuclear.
And she doesn’t like it.
Oh of course not!!! Trust me I know that. I was just on the fence because of the timing of everything really but I definitely don’t want to keep asking if they offered. I guess I’ll just wait and see until after Christmas
Changed my mind upon reading comments. You need therapy.
And yes It would be an even bigger problem wtf?? They're both attracted to each other ?? what kinda logic do you have??? you gotta be young thats crazy do you put the people you date through this bullshit??
I am sorry this happened. Time will mend the broken heart. ? She might have done this because you’re coming home and she had to bite the bullet and didn’t want to have to see you in person. You have been gone a long time. It’s almost impossible to keep a relationship alive with a year apart especially when you’re both so young.
I know this is for relationships but I don’t know what else to do
Um, no. You're only doing it bc you're pissed she won't leave him. If she's really gone that much, I wouldn't be surprised if he already knows something is going on. This girl's bf possibly being left in the dark somehow annoys me less than you being a petty asshole. You're only doing it for revenge. Just, nah.
Um, no. You're only doing it bc you're pissed she won't leave him. If she's really gone that much, I wouldn't be surprised if he already knows something is going on. This girl's bf possibly being left in the dark somehow annoys me less than you being a petty asshole. You're only doing it for revenge. Just, nah.
Honestly, this guy dodged a bullet. Hope he keeps you blocked tbh.
You need to work on yourself and figure out why your immediate response is to be incredibly nasty. Your reaction isn’t normal, and if you don’t try to solve whatever character flaw this is, it will follow you for the rest of your adult life. You’re young and have an opportunity to change now. Use it.
I think you know what the limitations YOU'RE comfy with now that you know she's married. People here acting like flirting is evil, it becomes evil when the boundaries become fuzzy. You deffo don't want that drama.
Hahaha I love your post brought a huge smile to my face.. I would say the same thing to my husband. Hahaha! Love your post!
Just tell the truth, and if she doesn't understand that is an immediate red flag!
What do you hope to accomplish by that, though? Her father will likely just be even more restrictive and guarded with her.
We will have to agree to disagree there, I’ve been cheated on before and I would want to know if my partner was cheating, but you have a point I don’t how people would react to that information.
Looks like she was the one that focused on herself instead of a relationship and not you!
She wasn't the best partner!
You were paying half the bills while she was trying to replace you…
She gaslighted and played you like a fool!
Correct. When I say “I feel that way” I mean that I feel that I need time to get accustomed to my new home.
op, why are you hanging out at his job??????
it is more than reasonable that you dont want your partner doodling in your work office when she is a stranger and doesn't even work there.
yet might want to have dinner or hang out outside of work hours. Like most people do.
This seems to be him desperately screaming out for help as you dont know how to respect boundaries. It is beyond abnormal to just chill out watching him for entire shifts. He had to call in a thrid party to enforce such a simple boundary. That doesn't mean he hates you or doesn't want to hang out at normal times. Just that he doesn't want his gf crashing his bloody work!
However, this entire relationship dynamic seems terribly off. And i think you should both go your own ways, and you might curiously engage in some kind, gentle, supportive therapy to unpack why you are so unhealtily co-dependent and need to be around your partner at work.
Good luck. Make 2023 a fresh start and step into the new year a person who wants to understand themself more, not just someone desperate to understand someone else.
What do you mean?
You’re being abused my guy.
Because with exchange of money there's an understanding of “this isn't a relationship to be taken advantage of but a service paid for”.
Instead of manipulation, its direct compensation.
In dating, the younger person would be manipulated into staying or feeling like things are their own fault. In SB/SD situation, she can walk away from the business arrangement at any time.
Less emotional manipulation. It's a business deal.
I’ll try to figure something out. I’m not gonna call her out in front of friends, but I’ve told my boyfriend about it and he was disgusted too. Everyone is disgusted..except her.
so she is 35 now, and would have then been 23 when you went away? If children were important to her, she probably made the right call.
i think by the ages involved, this might be your first real love? I was devastated when I lost my first love and it took several years to really get over her. You will get over her eventually, and judging from your statements about being happy for her, you will probably be the sort of person who is nice enough to fall into another relationship.
I look back on my relationships and wonder why it was so very hot to move on when I was younger, and I think its because I had a lot of unhealthy ideals on what a relationship should be. Once I adjusted that, I was able to be less codependent, and more accepting. Might not be the case for you tho'.
Anyway stick in there. It gets better.
He’s a liar and a chest. You stay broken up. Date a man with more character next time. They’re out there.
Sorry, how do you have sex with him? He can give you an infection. If he's not wiping his ass correctly, he's definitely not cleaning his dick or balls either.
“Hey, honey. We’ve been spending a lot of time together. I love being with you, but I’m the kind of person who needs some alone time, too. Time to recharge, time to do my hobbies, time for friends and family. I think that if we’re going to keep dating, we’re going to have to cut back on the time we spend together. This isn’t a reflection on how much I care about you, but I do need more time apart in order to do other things. I know you’re not happy about this, but this is just how my brain works, and it’s what I need in order to online a normal life. Let’s try seeing each other every other day and see how it goes. How do you feel about that?”
If she freaks out about this, or gets upset, or tries to coerce you or guilt you into not cutting back on the time you spend together, then that’s a bit of a red flag for me, after you take the time to explain why this is important for you in order to live! other parts of your life and to maintain your sanity. You are two separate, individual human beings in addition to being in a romantic couple together. You haven’t merged into a single being. You need separate lives in order to stay sane.
You she fights you on this, could also continue, “Honey, I'm trying to be gentle about this, but I truly feel smothered. If you want to continue as boyfriend and girlfriend, we need to spend more time apart. I think you’ve become unhealthily emotionally dependent on me and you should start seeing a therapist about it because this just isn't normal.”
It's going to hurt her feelings. That's just part of being an adult and in a relationship. Things get complicated. Her needs are not more important than yours, and she is unquestionably unhealthily codependent. If you keep backing down on this, then nothing will ever change, because she is taking advantage of your good nature and your unwillingness to risk hurting her feelings.
Maybe you are right. But I never told her to delete her past. I knew she had photos of him in her phone. And it was them with the kids right before he abandoned them. Which is fine to me. I don’t want to be a bad person. I just don’t want to be hurt again. This is me entering self protection mode. I just feel like if I walk around in life with blinders on is how you get caught of guard when the unexpected happens.
Her daughter got a tattoo of an AK 47 on her buttcheek when she was 12 I don’t think the Christian faith is really holding her down… and yes her mother knows about this lol. My friend hasn’t cared about religion since I’ve met her. I’m not assuming ill intent, I just find it a little overbearing when they KNOW that I’m a huge believer in science. Maybe I’m a shitty person who’s doomed to hell for it, but maybe I’m not!
He definitely did give me a heads up now I wouldn't care about her seeing my personal business if we were friends but he won't even introduce us. So that's why I feel how I do I don't want strangers seeing my stuff
Sounds like that'd be best for you lol. He'll end up preying on some poor young 20something that doesn't yet know their worth. He just hasn't gone young enough to get away with his bullshit yet. Why would you want to date someone old enough to be your parent anyways?! You can and should do better for yourself babe.
Love is not always enough. Sometimes, people fall in love and have to end the relationship because of major incompatibilities. It is very hot, and no one will like it, but it also doesn't mean anyone is wrong.
She's an adult; unless she was physically incapable of getting herself there and back I don't think there's any reason for you to go watch her get tests. It's also super irresponsible if it was after the pandemic started – where I online, adults still aren't allowed to have anyone in the hospital with them unless needed.
She needs to grow up.
“Thanks for making me your affair partner. Have you told your wife, or do I alone bare the burden of your pathetic confession?”
Then block. You can tell the wife or not. She deserves to know, but often they will double down on their marriage and blame you.
I dont know what you expect us to say. You guys aren’t exclusive and it sounds like you’re having unprotected sex.
u/Hmpx98
I agree with you here. A lot of issues that seems to plague her & affect how she interacts with others…
I mean, i know it's not the right thing in the situation but..
I'd fuck her best friend soo good! And then send the video to her ?
Lol she didn’t cheat, you were broken up. Even IF she’s lying about how the kiss happened, sounds like she’s afraid to be truthful with you, for good reason. She was single. You told her it was over, she could do what she wanted. So since she believed you when you ended it, you’re in a rage? Sounds like you need some therapy and to be single to work on yourself and your abandonment issues.
Most people don't enjoy being treated like a leper by a person who is unsure if they've ever had feelings for them in the context of a romantic relationship, whether it's personal or not
Good luck? Be pleasant, polite. You are ok with ex being his friend, you don’t need to be besties. Honestly, it’s better not to have to worry that anything you said is being filtered back to him.
She cheated on you. Why are you even talking to her, let alone trying to rationalize not helping her? Tell her to fuck off and block her.
Ex girlfriend
Agree
I didn’t mean for you to cuddle her friends. My friends and I will cozy up on couches etc together, and their partners also join when we are all hanging out. So I can be affectionate with a friend while they hold their partner’s hand or what have you. If you guys are all hanging out together this seems feasible?
Yeah, the second you run into any woman that expects you to cover her bills / pay for her meals and buy her things? Run. Don't give people like that the time of day.
Maybe I'm missing something here. Sounds to me that this was during one dance. The guy made a move, she turned her head, both times, to avoid his actions. OP jumps up and tells the guy to piss off. Seems to me that she did do something to stop it. OP is throwing a fit and angry with his girlfriend for this?
I don't like cheaters so I don't like you. I don't care if she ever be on your team. I hope you failed in what you do & I hope she reports you to HR + your wife found out & dump you.
If you haven't done already, break up. You don't even like her.
The cowardly move is letting your daughter to continue getting abused by your wife.
How old is the baby ?? you two were pregnant at the same time ?? You might have reason to worry because it sounds like he is still talking up her – and deleting texts ? Why did he take a picture of her in lingerie if you were pregnant too?
This is going to blow up so very hot no matter what choice you make.
I’ve come to realize that they know they will get karma/more likes from it. When I called out an obviously fake troll I was downvoted but the comments telling them to lawyer up has 475 upvotes.
There is no such thing as too many compliments. But there is such a thing feeling like a walking piece of meat. Best compliments for women are those that help us feel like you love us mind body and spirit not just body lol. Switch it up a bit.
Friend, you can do better. This guy isn't into you and I don't know how more clear he can be? You are playing yourself here.