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Yeah I’m 23 anda huge proponent of being in couples therapy at any stage of the relationship to heal intergenerational trauma and shit that you might be bringing from other relationships or from childhood or just to learn how to communicate because you never saw that being done healthily or whatever but this isn’t that
It’s okay for him to ask, and it’s okay for you/your boyfriend to say no.
Wait ‘til he hears about the gynecologist.
Throw this one back, OP.
Saying someone is a hypocrite isn't gross. It's factual.
Make sure your parents are their too so they can see what happens when you find out after fucking around.
It basically just means she's not willing to make a decision in advance. You might meet her and both fall madly in love and get married one day… Or you might just meet once, fuck, and never speak again. She doesn't want to commit to anything one way or another before she's met and gotten to know you
Baby mama and other kids? I mean kids should be created in committed planned relationships. It’s 2023, there are so many ways to prevent multiple oops babies.
You’re right, they have had so many opportunities to make things right and never bothered to care. This has been such a wake up call, thanks again for your help!
The problem is when she will be drinking less, in time she can also cope with less alcohol so this thing can happen after fewer drinks after a while. The only way to be sure this wont happen ever again is to stop drinking all together. Everytime she drinks only one drink, she will purposely risk this happening.
She’s 8 so that doesn’t apply really but thanks anyway
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Trying to change another person is about the dumbest thing you can do, it's not even possible.
And OP it sounds like you desire a partner who will challenge your intellectual prowess. You have made it abundantly clear that this isn't that person. You will grow resentful over the years because of this.
I’m not saying my life is a romance novel. I have dealt with my failing marriage for years, for my son. We are legally separated and in the process of divorcing. By no means did I want my child to have to go through his parents divorcing, but in this case, it’s better for him to online in an environment where his parents aren’t constantly fighting and can work together to coparent. Staying together isn’t always the best option, and I have stayed for years trying to make it work to keep my family together, despite tolerating things I never thought I would. This post didn’t talk about my son, or his therapy or whatever it is I’m doing to help him through this, because that’s not the point!!!
I mean, your partner seems to have a lot of great qualities, but as a partner she's pretty crummy. Seems like you've put her on a pedestal and you're allowing that to override her faults.
Financially you're a bad fit. Your boundaries are not respected. She is not faithful.
Not going to touch on the feelings for your coworker. Right now you need to focus on ending this relationship. After that, spend some time alone to heal and grieve. After doing that, you can see where you want to take your dating life.
He’s having an emotional affair with her if he is giving more to her than to you (even down to texts, and the sort of pictures). You should be getting all these. He should be telling you he misses you, not her.
You need to decide if this is what you want to online with. Because if he carries on, the affair will probably turn physical.
Yes, it was a mistake. That's why it needs to be changed. I don't have a problem with her talking to guys. I could name at least 5 from the top of my head right now that I don't have a problem with her talking too. It feels like it comes from a place of insecurity from within her. But thats the only reason why, and if she feels insecure about it, then how would I bring it up.
People that are this dillusional need wake up calls. Being “nice” let's you brush it off more. You need to see how it's absolutely not ok or polite to brush off. Being blunt is necessary – as shown by you continuously hiding behind the same phrases every single young person in an age gap relationship does.
It sucks to say, but she simply isn't girlfriend material. Yeah, sure she might like you and share your feelings, but clearly her actions reflect something completely different. Your best course of action is too just drop it at this point.
She basically said she doesn't care how you feel about it. Even though she had a date with her ex. You can't tell her what to do, but you can be done with her. Set the boundary and if she gives you the same BS, cut her loose. Doesn't bode well for the future.
well done – at least now you recognized what you need & want & what you deserve.
he is cheating – EA & as many redditors mentioned – NEGLECT + he disrespect you, disrespect your needs, disrespect your request & disrespect your love.
you are only 24 & all this crap sure is unwanted.
now leave him & get a better man & get the life you deserves as a woman, gf, lover, partner.
Think whatever you want. I'm not into convos with hormonal little boys who have no understanding of impulse control. Bye.
This is the reason, OP. I wouldn’t take my ex back in that situation
Don’t consider… do
My wife and I are both attorneys. She is former big law. I’m a partner. She loves reading critically acclaimed novels – ones that people would consider intellectual and deep reading. If I read a book it’s always sci fi / fantasy but I mostly read comic books.
She laughs about the junk I read neither of us are actually bothered. We know the intelligence level of each other.
I’m sure your boyfriend has some sort of junk hobby. My wife watches terrible low level television.
You gotta be absolute douchebag level to say big law lawyers have to have sophisticated hobbies and can’t just do shit for fun.
Kick this ahole to the curb and maybe burn one of his Patagonia vests.
Also by the time you’re 30 it’s likely neither of you are in big law anymore.
Bottom line is, long distance relationships are not real relationships, sorry. I know there's always this person who replies to these kinds of replies “no, but mine actually worked” – sure, that's great and we're happy for you, but 9 times out of 10 an LDR is just a disaster of some sort waiting to happen.
Forget about this debacle, and try actually dating actual people. Having an internet chat buddy for a couple of months is nothing like a proper relationship and your story is just one of the things that may happen.
He’s not that skilled, we’ve already got the measure of him. OP while the ‘love bombing’ is very pleasant (while it lasts) so long as you realise what it is and that it won’t last. While I’d love to say “play him at his own game” in truth it’s not a good idea. Ditch him.
It was a deliberate choice that he made, not a mistake. It’s also 100% cheating and whether it’s forgivable or not is 100% up to you.
Before couples counseling, he should be trying to work on the part of him that allowed himself to do this.
The weird part about this is the gal CHANGING her bachelorette plans so he can attend.
That is super sus.
Break up with her
Look, would I jokingly tell my bestie to cancel on her husband for me? Yes. Would I do that if I thought she might actually cancel on him? Hell no. I would be like fair enough, or that's cool another day.
There just literally isn't context other than op was jealous/insecure enough to ask her bf a trap question about the friend then hold onto that answer.
It's fine mate you are only 21. She knew it was wrong.