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The classic “it's a joke.” Only used by shameless liars with no reasonable explanation.
I'm just going to say this much.
Usually when one partner wants to open a relationship, and the other doesn't but goes along with it, the partner who doesn't want to open the relationship ends up finding someone else in the long run, and moves on.
It happens in reverse too. You would be taking a chance either way.
But mostly what happens in situations like yours, if you open the relationship, you are miserable.
Things always change, and the relationship always ends. Just read in several groups here in reddit, you see people who wanted to open the relationship admit they regret it, because the person they were originally with found someone else, and left them. Or it didn't work out like they planned, because their partner took to the lifestyle and did so much better than they did, and refuse to close the relationship back up.
You are a monogamous person, she obviously isn't. Your best bet is to just end the relationship, and move on. She is already blaming you for having feelings. She expects you to allow her to be selfish, and do what she wants, and when you don't want to she pretty much victim blames you, and turns it around on you to try and gaslight you in a way.
Your relationship is already over, send her packing and let her be free to be with as many people as she wants to be with. Find you a loyal and faithful gf that you can eventually wife up if that is what you want, because this one is not wife material.
I too think it's a myth for the most part. The only times I've heard guys say they liked using a condom is if they were worried they were gonna cum too fast with another person. But if you're jerking off alone why would you want it to take a long time?
You're insecure. You're older than me but still acting childish.