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I think a discussion is definitely in the right step. But make sure it's in person where you can gauge his facial reactions, and tones much better. Then based on his answers you can take it from there. If it's some sincerely platonic friend that he freakishly forgot to mention, I see no reason why you would not be allowed to meet her so I would definitely be requesting that too.
This would also be an excellent time to discuss some relationship rules. For instance, my partner and I have a mutual agreement that we do not hang out with exes or friends that anything sexual or close to sexual has happened in the past. We also do not hide our opposite sex friends from each other or sneak off with them. We also do not ignore each other in order to text these friends. This works out very well for us.
Yes, just like it benefits many as well. Negative birth control experiences are no where near rare. Both experiences are valid and should be respected.