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Start doing the same with one of your girlfriends but save it in your phone as 'big jim' or something.
Why don't you just go with him? Why wouldn't he want his own gf to go?
Forgive him by telling him that you're going to work on yourself without him in your life. Forgive yourself for putting up with it for however long it was, and learn from it and make sure you know what you want from your future partner and do not tolerate anything less than what you deserve, which is love, kindness, and respect.
Welp, I know what I'm getting my boyfriend as his wedding gift when we marry.
The friend is a guy
Leave. Anyone willing to attack someone’s appearance, and then have the nerve and ego enough to feel insulted by you not listening is a douchebag. He knew how you looked when he started dating you. He either accepts that or fucks off.
You’re going to lose him as a friend because you’re unhinged. I don’t think you can save it since you told him to fuck off. He has only ever tried to be a friend to you. I feel so bad for him. It’s not his fault you fell in love with him.
If I was him, I’d want to know. If I was you, I’d want to tell him why it’s not going to work out (because he might be wondering many things). You are not obligated of course but expect some retaliation from his mum if you do, which at some point you could consider filing a restraining order depending on the harassment
We've talked about it after they've had it a few times, They realise and we both agreed that they are going to get therapy starting January next year (they can't currently since they are moving to a different state entirely).
They have only lashed out 3 times, because previous times they have these bad episodes they remove themselves, stop talking and wind up hurting themselves in bad ways. the 2nd time it happened I did come back and prove that the shit they said was false and often they would just sit there and say whatever, or leave the call (then going back to my concern of self harm). (Same outcome if I end the discussion when they start it)
Because even outside these instances they are a wonderful partner, it's just these few times it hits very hot and given they want to get therapy and do a lot to make up for them lashing out is why I choose to stay with them, I make changes and make up for my fuck ups and they have done the same and held up on it.
In the moment kind of situation I don't fully know if it is better to have me there in a call with them or let them be alone while like that.
JFC, what a complete cunt. I’d explain the situation to my landlord. Maybe they will allow you to transfer the remaining 5 months to a new apartment in the same complex?
Truly a horrible and oppressive sentence, how can people go around acting like this is a normal thing to say??? Might as well call all women a slur.
Truly a twitter moment
Your dating a professional martyr that needs to be the main character to be brief
I'd move on because when a partner “exhausts” you, it's because in their world the rest of the planet always needs to revolve around them
Having no ability to read the room or play conversation tennis (everyone gets an equal turn) is a very strong indicator of narcissistic tendencies or emotional dysfunction
You're way too young to even have to consider this to be the best relationship you can get dude
That’s the way!
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That’s all fine and dandy but at the end of the day he is actively choosing to stay with his wife. Whether he works on the marriage or not is another story, as of now he is deciding, daily, to physically stay with her.
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The vibe I get is that she'd like to live with you but thinks it's going to feel claustrophobic for you to live together in a place that size.
Do you spend a lot of time there with her as it is? By which I mean, have you spent enough time there to give you guys an idea of what it would feel like for you to live! there?
Move on. There’s Something wrong w/ her
What does that have to do with anything? The issue is that he is sexualixing and fetishizing his kid for jack off material later.
Yes you should say something, but where and how you do it needs to be carefully considered. Maybe take some time to work through and write down what you want to say. It is important that you focus on how you feel. Learn what non accusatory and non violent forms of communication look like. Make sure that you are In a relaxing location where you can speak freely, and the conversation can take as long as needed. Make sure that you affirm her as the main point of the conversation. Good luck.
You must be one of these women who have no self respect and react with irritation when other women do have it then lmao…
Thank you that helped me alot you made really valid points. Idk I've never been in this position before lol it wrecked me when I found out. I just now got to a point where I feel confident in myself again. Idk if I'm stupid or making the right decision lol
Yeah, I think this is more about him than how we met.
Good luck to you and your sister. I hope you can find the culprit. Until then, please document what is happening so you can press charges against the offender later. Google docs keeps time stamps on your documents so it will show when something was written. Good for using over a long period of time.
I think its more to do with my genetics. I am pretty ugly so I definitely don't see women as sex partners at all. My mom also has a lot of social anxiety(as a child she used to hide under the bed when a guest came to the house) and I just inherited it. Combine that with the fact that I have never talked to any woman ever and its pretty obvious why I have this anxiety. Please don't think that I think of women as sex partners only, its genetic
You may be onto something.
I do see how selfish he is, but I always thought his mental health is the reason for it
No. You're broken up. Keep your tickets and let her keep the musical tickets and you'll both take other people.
I did go for awhile and i did everything she told me to, the point we were at was he needed to come as well, flogging a dead horse I reckon so I gave up. And yes I know but I have said that to him many times and it’s like he gets it then immediately forgets and goes back to the way he normally is
Sounds like you need to change girlfriends.
Date people in real life, seek therapy to address whatever it is that is driving you to self-sabatoge.
If you’re looking over her shoulder every time she uses her phone & act entitled about something as basic as her right to privacy- it is that. It’s none of your business. I’d be hiding my phone from you. Work on your insecurities & stop making it her responsibility to make you feel better about her Facebook history or whatever else.
Wow.
Lmao. These stories get worse and worse
Op what the hell u with this man fir
That's theft my friend. It sucks that the laws are the way they are, but OP can't do much for that cat without getting in legal trouble. They don't live together and I assume he doesn't pay for anything regarding the cat. The police will show up, he has no proof of ownership, they will take the cat back and he will be in trouble.
The only thing he can do if she isn't willing to listen to him is to contact the autorities to report the abuse or talk to her parents as she is still living with them and they might be able to talk some sense into her.
Your and your parents sound like shit bags. Trans 9yo or not, your parents are fuckhead LDS haters and you allow them to get away with it.
The boyfriend sounds like my ex. Always turning things around so it's in his advantage. This won't get better. Only worse.
Respectfully: This isn't a small issue. It's ongoing; she's talked about it to you more than just once or twice; and your response has been to tell her that her feelings are invalid, and continue on as you were.
Your wife is probably not a yeller or a sulker. Her calmness doesn't mean she isn't upset.
She says, “XYZ is an issue, how should we deal with it?” And up to now, you've probably dealt with the issue together and found a solution.
You are probably not a yeller or sulker, either. But you are being a stonewaller here.
You gotta quit saying, “This is how our marriage is going to be. I decide how much time I spend working out, and you decide to be okay with it.”
Because what if she decides she is not okay with it? Not with you exercising a lot, but with you choosing to ignore her.
Normally I think that men and women should be able to be friends, even if they are in a committed relationship.
Normally…
However this is different. They just recently became friends and your bf is trying to keep you from meeting. He takes your jealousy as a reason not to meet her but that’s wrong. He created that jealousy by behaving so suspicious. And he does, nothing about this is normal. Are you sure they didn’t meet on a dating app? It sounds like he started a second relationship.
The difference between boundary and control is this: Control is telling him not to go. A boundary is that you don’t want any bf of yours to go on a holiday with a woman you never met. He can think about what he does with the boundary. If he goes it’s over.
Honestly I would suggest to break up. If you are not ready for this then talk to him and say you want to get over your insecurities (lol, it’s not you, but just tell him that) and work on it and for that you need to meet her a couple of times. See what he says. If he refuses it’s probably because she doesn’t know about you. If he claims she doesn’t want to meet you than she is not a decent person (or he is probably lying).
Stand up for yourself! Don’t let him treat you like this
Find a better girlfriend.
Call the police and tell them that shes threatening self harm. Theyll take care of the rest and get her to a hospital for a mental eval.
You wouldn’t see Eric the same way if he called you Alexa while making out, except it’s even worse for you since you actually work with the guy whose name you blurted out
And then a leprechaun showed up and said “They are always after me Lucky Charms”.
????
Personally, I would talk to him and explain that he needs to tell his gf what happened and you give him x amount of time. If he doesn't you do it.
Then, I would distance myself because he clearly doesn't have the same moral code as me.
I feel normal
Yes, some people go crazy. They are completely certain someone is cheating or something with no proof. And they get posters all worked up about a ton of irrelevant extra things.
Understandable. Should I just ask him to pick what he’d like to contribute to?
Go no contact. Let him die alone and lonely. It’s ok for ppl to reap what they sow.
I mean if they’ve been together 6 years that’s far more successful than the average relationship. Not sure what your point is. Very few relationships in general are permanent.
“We dated for 7 months. At first I liked him, but when we met up I instantly did not feel attracted to him.”
This should have been a ‘it’s been great talking on the internet, but I felt no chemistry between us when we met. I’m not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship, but wish you well’ situation.
Any time you feel ‘frightened’ is time to be concerned. Fear is a gift. It’s a warning signal.
You have the right to not spend your energy on anyone that you don’t like. Why is it very hot for you to just say ‘this isn’t working for me, I want to end our relationship’? You are important. Your feelings are important. Your turn offs are important. You don’t like anything about this guy, why stay? You owe him nothing. I’d consider talking to someone you trust about this. Either a friend, counselor, family member or anyone who can help you understand your thinking is the first step to a life long series of dysfunctional and abusive relationships. Dating is an experiment in looking to find what type of partner you prefer. Not an exercise in staying with men who you don’t like. I wish you well. Please end this relationship and have someone help you unpack WHY you felt like you had to remain in it. Stop the cycle now or you will be fighting this same battle forever.
your right i will rewrite this all and add more stuff to post again.
3rd month is still the first trimester
Dude, they hand not even gone on 1 date yet, that was the day he asked her out.
Not exclusive, no dates, just hung out with a bunch of friends they were both a part off. Only a month after asking her to go on a first date did they become exclusive
Wow, I guess in your world if some guy shows interest the girl most immediately refuse all attention from every other guy just in case
You need to make decisions about what is more important to you. Is going to Europe with your friends more important than setting the foundation of your marriage? Would you rather go to Europe with your friends or your husband?
I talk about this setting the foundation of your marriage. The decision for this trip will do so because you will see if see the difference between being married and going steady. You being married will lose a lot of the spontaneity which comes along with just being in a relationship. It also comes along with you needing to make compromises. This is not to say you cannot go on trips with friends in the future. This is saying going on what sounds like a once-in-a-lifetime trip that is planned so suddenly is something you really should not do when being married.
You want to go to Europe and your husband does also, you should just plan a European vacation with him. You will not miss out on the trip and you will get to make those memories with your husband.
tbf i'd reckon this is just a honeymoon thing. when they're back at work or just normal life it's unlikely she'd have the time or energy for that much sex, even if she wanted it !
Yes, bf seems to be last person he spoke to.
The red flag here is that it doesn’t sound like you were even invited.
I’m like twice your age so we’re at different life stages, and romantic relationships mean different things at different ages, but honestly I invite my fiancée to everything I go to. Ok, maybe not every single beer a dude friend invites me over for in the garage, but any social event. Particularly if there will be other women there. Note that she has never asked me to do this, and declines just as often as she accepts, but it was an easy, transparent, thoughtful way for me to let her know early on in our relationship that we are a union, a partnership, a team – and that there are no parts of my life that are “off limits” to her, no women in my life I don’t want her to meet, etc.
So for OP’s partner to go on a spring break trip to go visit a dude friend, and when her ex will be there… and OP doesn’t even get an invite? That’s wack as shit on her part. She doesn’t care if he’s comfortable, she just wants to do it without him. While maybe that’s valid on her part, for me that’s a huge fucking NOPE. Id probably bail on the relationship, the stress just isn’t worth it.
yea you’re right, it’s just a waste of time trying ti understand people like that
How old are the kids?
Do they know that their current dad is not their bio-dad?
If they are old enough I would have a conversation with them if they want to meet their bio-dad. Don't tell them many details on how bad he was back then or how he didn't believe you that you were pregnant but inform them that he choose to be out of their lives before you even knew the pregnancy was with twins.
Let them choose what they want. If they say they want to meet him now then arrange a meeting. Meet somewhere neutral like the mall or restaurant or something with you present. They might say “not we don't. Maybe when we are older”. Respect their wishes, inform your ex.
Or you reread the OPs post that says he states he knew she would get an abortion not that he wanted me to get an abortion. Words mean different things when you move them around.
To be fair, I didn't say “light” reading, I said I liked to read a bit to unwind before bed and that I liked a variety of genres (which is true, I like mysteries, suspense/thrillers, romances, light fantasy (not so much the grand epic stuff, at least these days), etc. He just assumed I liked super-intellectual books like he does.
You have a choice:
You can support your son and have a relationship with him
OR
You can try to convince your son to stop the hormones and not talk about transitioning to make his grandparents comfortable and happy
You can only pick ONE. In my opinion, you should pick your SON.
People love to talk about standards until they tell others to compromise their own.
You did nothing wrong. There's no excuse for drunk driving. The people who are telling you to give him a pass would be singing a different tune if he hurt someone they cared about.
Some things don't deserve second chances.
For me it seems like he is just manipulating you. He also didn't take any pills, he faked it to not face consequences for what he does. He know when he plays the “i want to die”-card, you forgive and forget him everything. It works so well in the past. He was writing you and made it so obvious that something is “wrong”, so that you ask. And if you take pills, and puke, up to one hour you will find something of them and not just bile. Why i know it? I need to take a handvoll of medications daily and sometimes i puke. I wonder what his actual plan was. That you drive the 6 hours in panic? Or call next day and talk about a fake emergency stay? And that he was afterwards totally fine is another proof that he faked it. What about all the pills who were already in his system and made his text so full of typos? Wow, fastest recovery ever.
Break up. If you want to feel better, tell his family that you break up and he comes with “i don't want to live”. But don't feel bad. Live your life. And block him after you break up. His guilt-tripping and manipulating will be awful (mixed with aggression and insults).
I thought this mean to not move on I was like wow this person really doesn’t want this man to thrive ?
I'm always so surprised at how people are willing to believe the strangest and most untrue things despite very obvious evidence of the opposite.
Like another person said, she's not your girlfriend. That dude doesn't know about your existence because he's the boyfriend and you're the emotional side piece she's been cheating on him with.
Let him die mad about it. They’re your friends/classmates and you’re an adult. He needs to get over it.
I should’ve specified that this is dependent on where you’re from. In my country, you can – particularly when you sacrifice to look after children etc. I still think a consultation with a lawyer is a must though – you never know what you can do.