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Don’t go. I doubt the groom feels as warm and fuzzy about having you there as your ex. Once they are inebriated, he might get a bit punchy and say stupid things out of jealousy. Stay away but wish them well.
If you had said something like “If I ever go to see them play I want it to be with you” Then I would get where he is coming from but this is ridiculous. He wants you to find other people to be friends with and then get's pissed off when you do.
I don't think reddit should be deciding if you should break up or not. We only ever see a few sentences of OP's life.
My advice would be to give him a chance to explain himself and see if you guys can talk it over. Make it clear that it's not ok to talk to you like that and that it hurt you. He might have been having a really shitty day and missing the chance to see his favourite band was the final straw. Also trust your gut when it comes to your decision. 🙂
post this again in r/AmItheAsshole
Sounds like his dad needs to sit him down in person and tell him in no uncertain terms “i do not have cancer, and i would not lie to you about something like this. While i appreciate your concern, your recent behaviour surrounding this has been way over the top and needs to stop. I am fit and healthy and if that ever changes i promise you will be the first to know”.
Do the 180.
That's a disturbing take on the conscious decision making skills of a 15y old.
Well, considering that I worked from home half time when she was little and was nursing her, yeah, I was doing both simultaneously much of the time.
You'll be ok one day OP just a shitty in life rn, Hang in there and try to speak to a doctor before your job begins
Lol your wife is awful. Having kids is a “two yeses, one no” situation. There is no compromise and trying to blackmail you with sex (with anything really) is beyond juvenile and manipulative. Can’t imagine what you see in her.
I just suffer from depression and anxiety though the latter isn’t as bad as it used to be after I got therapy and I take medication for the former
What the hell did I just read? Your wife is physically abusive and your first thought is if you should still take martial arts? Are you fucking kidding? Get the hell out of this relationship dude, what are you even doing?!
As a 30+ year old I tend to see 24 year olds and 18 year olds as being the same stage of life. 18 is young adult and 24 is late-young adult, so it doesn't bother me, but I'm pretty far removed from that stage of life now so maybe I'm out of touch. 25-27 I see as a pretty grey area for dating an 18-19 year old and 28+ is either a cradle-robber or an idiot bound for heartbreak.
OP.
ALL of this.
She's lying about the only doing it because she was pressured part but that's not the issue.
She did all of these things willingly and now she has buyer's remorse for what she did.
You need to excise her from your life.
Man up, she's not the one.
Honestly she seems completely uninterested in you. I would let it go.
Sounds like sexual harassment in the workplace. She is trying to have a physical affair on “her man”. You can do better.
Or perhaps because it pains her immensely that she doesn't have a relationship with her children, their significant others, and their children.
Jfc this shit used to make me so anxious. “I won’t cum until you do” Great! Now, I feel pressured to cum because I know you’re waiting for me!!! I’m sure that will help me orgasm!!
Men say the, “I won’t cum until you do” line to be nice, but it ultimately fuels anxiety.
You’re big ugly mad
Projecting much?
Are we not talking grooming standards, specifically those that make us attractive to our partners.
Also, if you can’t think of something better than using my same remark against me (just like you did when you copy and pasted the girl’s text and changed it to facial hair), you’re weak.
Oh right right, rules for me but not for thee. I forgot you like double standards
He wants to screw around with your blessing. Is that what YOU want? Over to you.
Tell him! That's disgustingly manipulative of her!
If it means more to you that your son never knows his grandfather simply for your dads personal decision then there is nothing else to say here.
However, do realize your son is going to be around a hell of a lot of people that are also unvaccinated.
With that being said, if your father is still alive when your son is 18 (or whatever age you feel your son is old enough), then your son has a right to have a relationship with your father at that time. Just be honest with your son about why he possibly will never know his grandfather until he can make the decision himself.
Best wishes on this entire situation.
Do not move with him. If you’re moving for work anyway just find other accommodations.
Someone who loves you and proposed marriage shouldn’t be playing “what ifs” with you at this stage in the game.
Moving on today while you’re still relatively young is so much better than moving on in 5 or 10 years. Especially since you can avoid a divorce.
She needs a therapist or some kind of “come to Jesus” realization that she’s the problem. Otherwise she’s just gonna narcissist all over the place forever
You have a chance to leave before she gets pregnant. Don't blow it.
I would encourage your girlfriend to tell her sister to apply for cash assistance/HUD. She will most likely qualify and that would take some of the burden off. It sucks that she is going to bring a child into this world with no plan to care for it. I only feel sorry for the child.
So.. you’ve been emotionally cheating on him the whole time??? Maybe stop doing that? And go to couples therapy if you want to save your marriage
Exactly. Writing a poem or a card describing the things you like and love about someone is free and meaningful. Even a bouquet of wildflowers from the grocery store is like 4.99. This is just lazy and inconsiderate.
Dump her cheating ass and tell that guys wife he’s having an emotional affair with you ex girlfriend.
It was a funny joke and you’re being kind of a big baby
He wants to bang you. Straight up.
Lol yep, so many men are porn addicts who want a young girl to be their bangmaid, and thankfully we have more and more older women and “the good ones” who are opening those poor girls' eyes. Usually after they make a post on this sub asking why their much older boyfriend is an asshole to them.
I also think that, now that we are able to provide for ourselves and get by as women without needing to be married for safety or money, women are doing fine without relationships.The benefits of marriage/ltr has gone down for women and the men available just aren't worth it lmao
It crosses a line BIG time, not a “bit”.
I would leave this dude in a heartbeat.
My ex, sister in law wore a flowy white dress to my wedding, complete with a big white Easter hat.Tacky! She did this 100 percent for attention because she's a bitch. Anyways, everyone noticed and thought she looked like a damn fool, your guest will notice your future mother in law and think it wasn't too cool of her to do that
In US culture, it's a “golden rule” to avoid discussing sex, politics or religion. Why? Because they're extremely controversial. Sounds like your husband is bringing up something in his articles that your son fundamentally opposes. The only way to fix that is to stop discussing politics with him. Ever.
Even if you do that, though, your son may not want to be around people with opposing views. Both sides have their extremes, and even though we should be able to coexist despite differing political opinions…if a conservative tells me “Everyone that's pro-choice should have been aborted, that would teach them!” then I'm going to stop associating with them entirely because they've literally wished I was dead.
Bottom line, you, your husband and your son shouldn't be mentioning political topics around each other if you ever want to move past this.
You also need to reread that message about why they're angry with you – from beginning to end, slowly. They're literally telling you why they're upset, the only way to fix things is to understand their reasons and attempt to right what has been wronged.
You should consider his behaviour a red flag. Considered your parents paid for his flights and accommodation and he did not feel the need to reprocicate and to cover some of your expenses is a selfish and unkind behaviour. He is just thinking of himself and his entitlement. Like you inviting him puts all the financial burden on you.
Let this be a learning experience if this continues to be the norm. Avoid uncaring and unkind ppl who have no empathy on how you are feeling.
Let’s see, your so called fiancé has clearly prioritized another man over you, spending hours on end with him and doing sleep overs; all of which are very inappropriate and disrespectful of you and your relationship and here you are, worried about your appearance, inserting drama and ruining their friendship and trust??? Are you flipping kidding me??? Separate yourself from the situation and reread what you wrote as if someone else wrote it. Pretend your brother is telling you all this.
Of course you feel jealousy and insecurity, unless you are a robot, why would you not?? And why are you so afraid to embrace perfectly reasonable human feelings that are brought on with excellent reason? Have you been so brainwashed by these labels being weaponized as taboo that you can no longer determine the differences between rational insecurity and jealous oppose to irrational? What do you need to happen next? A video of her fucking the guy? Why do you think you are not allowed to have boundaries you assert? Are you not allowed to tell someone you are suppose to marry that you are not going to stand for that behavior anymore and that it’s a deal breaker for you?
Honestly, I think you should call off the engagement and do sone serious self reflecting. Perhaps see a therapist of your own to figure out why it is, you are so scared of being a normal healthy human with boundaries that command respect for you and your relationship. Figure out why you allow these people to take advantage of you, and your partners to be so inappropriate with others that anyone with a good sense would not be okay with? You need a lot of work on yourself and I hope you do it, and come out of this much stronger and healthier are a person.
She was mad I didn't tell her myself until she asked about it
It makes me question the bf's other blind spots where his experiences differ from OP's. In this case, he doesn't seem to understand the differing risk in picking up hitchhikers, but does he also not full understand that she probably can't safely walk alone at night, let tradespeople know that she's home alone or any one of a thousand other scenarios where she is more vulnerable than he would be. That these things aren't just in the movies or for situations where someone has already proved they have bad intentions. If that's the case, it doesn't make him a bad person, just one who needs an honest conversation and a reminder that his experiences aren't universal. These precautions have become so second nature to women and targeted so specifically that we forget sometimes that men aren't told these things.
Talk to a real-estate lawyer in your state. Sounds sus.
If you feel that much on edge (why? Do you think they'll murder each other?) and you want to speak to your friend, I'd sit down with her and just learn. Ask her how she felt in the situation. Don't tell her she was rude or wrong – instead, figure out first how she percieved everything.
You can say something like “Hey, I admit I felt a bit upset when you snapped at my partner. You seemed upset or even angry. Do you dislike talking to him so much? I know he can be rather silent, but I love him, so it's hard for me to see how others might feel.”
And then just listen. Let her talk. Different people feel differently in the same situation. For example: You may find it positive that your partner demonstrated interest by asking follow-up questions. But for others, him only giving short answers and asking questions might instead feel like they have to basically carry the whole conversation themselves, essentially holding a monologue and/or being an “entertainer”, which can be very exhausting and frustrating. Maybe the follow-up questions were even what made your friend think of “deflecting” – he refused to elaborate his answer beyond single words, so the “How about you?” instead might have come across as “I don't want to answer, so just tell me about yourself and keep talking”.
In the end, no one will gain anything if your friend is just getting frustrated when talking to someone who basically doesn't volunteer much information to have an “equal” talk. Your boyfriend will be upset because she snaps at him, she is upset because she's frustrated and annoyed and you are also upset and on edge because they don't like each other. Just staying away from one another might be the best thing for both of them – but that can only be maturely talked about when everyone's position is clear. If your friend learns from you calmly that this is how your partner is and that he isn't mean to her specifically, she might be more chill and say “Yeah, sorry, not a person for me to hang out with then, but if he makes you happy, then good for you!”.
He might be losing interest in you due to you guys being together 24/7. Do you guys live together?
I’d consider spending some time apart and then meeting up in a hotel for a naked date to spice things up a little.
If doing stuff like this doesn’t yield positive results I’d consider ending things. You’re too young to not get any.
His kitten disappeared as in ran away, got stolen, etc. He doesn't know. It's not dead. I hope it's not dead. It's been missing for 2 days. I saw a post on social media through our mutual friend and wanted to reach out as any normal person with a heart would. I do hope he gets him back and learns his lesson of negligence. He shouldn't let his kittens roam outside in the middle of the night to go pee. He should be watching them.
do some research on daddy issues. You are looking for a father substitute and found one.
Per se it isn't bad, but you have to look for signs when this friendship develops in the wrong direction.
It actually could save the marriage.
He doesn’t sound like a good, he sounds like a cheap, manipulative user and his comments about you not being able to do better sounds like emotional abuse.