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I know I feel like one. It makes me feel unrecognizable to myself and I’m disgusted. I’m nervous to be sober so young but it’s worth missing out in that so that I don’t miss out on my life.
Well I didn’t actually have lunch with her. Just made plans and didn’t go.
A prenup doesn’t always mean one that focuses on protecting one partner’s assets at the expense of the other partner. And besides, as my family law professor would say, you already have a prenup if you’re married— you just don’t know the terms. Every state in the U.S. has some default way of dividing assets in a divorce. However, the fact that there’s a default doesn’t mean it’s simple. If you don’t have a plan, then the court is left to sift through people’s assets— a process that can be very time-consuming and eat up a lot of money. In the end, some people will find it easier to settle for unfavorable terms than to eat up all their money by fighting in court forever. A well-written prenup, fair to both sides because it’s negotiated by two lawyers, can avoid this.
It sounds like what your boyfriend wants to do is to find a way to insulate the money he makes from you, so that you can’t access his income. That’s fucked up and in my opinion, it’s not marriage. Getting a prenup is a realistic way to plan for an uncertain future (because ALL of our futures are uncertain). But getting a prenup where he insulates “his” money from you is what I consider to be the serious problem.
Some people get very freaked out about money though, and it makes them act and speak irrationally. If he’s just not thinking clearly, maybe there is still hope after you two sit down and really discuss what you believe a marriage is and how it should work