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Im her LDR boyfriend actually, ive been with her 2 years before the war started and supported her and send her gifts and money to support her moving in germany, i didnt know about this
i've been with her LDR ups and down emotions and working naked to be with her, im surprised with this post that see already sleeping with a guy and 6 months already.. that mean she already got a new guy moment she moved there in germany
I didnt have any explanation, and she denied anything, i asked her about right now and she just blocked me.
-atleast you should be honest and told me truth earlier/
to you Anastasiia posting this, i hope you get what you deserve and be happy with it…
How did he want you to respond? Was it 10 months?
This makes me wonder if you're the rea9n it was on and off for 3 years, and if he's still extremely resentful of that?
What advice are you looking for
Does he accidentally hit things with his car or truck? I bet he doesn't yet is car is much bigger. If he can handle a car he can handle himself.
At this point it's no accident, it's neglect and abuse. Run. And please meet with a Counsellor, you need to hear from a professional that it's not normal.
When he threatens to hurt himself call the police immediately. This way if he’s serious there will be professionals available to handle and see-escalate the situation. I’m 99% sure it’s a manipulation tactic to keep you around, but it’s not your responsibility to stay with him. He’s a 45 year old MAN that knows exactly what he’s doing. Call the police and breakup with him. You can even call them ahead of time explain the situation and that you want to breakup with him and they can be there with you while you breakup to mediate it and ensure everyone’s safety. If you live together and would need to move things out of the house, only go back with a friend or family member.
I use whatsapp and what she will do is scroll through and look at the last messages sent but she doesn't scroll through a convo. She might if I was talking to a friend and they had nice things to say about her and she will want to read those comments.
she has games on her phone but she finds mine more fun.
I don’t know about any blood pressure problems. But yes he usually doesn’t sleep much. I always have to tell him it’s okay to sleep in on weekends and stuff but he just can’t.
She kinda sounds like she has never had her own shit together. Consider it a lesson and bullet dodged. You can do better, friend. You'll find someone with the same relationship ideas/dynamics as you and it'll be that much better.
That’s pre “ick” IMO.
But
Is he a worrier or does he get anxious when you have to leave him or be apart ?
Some people literally only want to date one person at a time. Believe it or not for some of us two at a time is more of a pain in the ass than it is a good thing.
Not sure how that would be seen as a red flag unless you think a guy being into dating just you is odd.
Maybe he wants to date and form a connection, some people just like to date and either move on, find a FWB situation et al. Those other options might not be his thing.
Nothing wrong with him deleting, he can always install it again.
You absolutely did NOT do the wrong thing. You listened to your gut, that's all you need to know. Good job knowing what you want and sticking to it. Sending so much love
I think it’s beautiful!
Have you talked to him?
Save yourself anymore ache and leave it’s sounds very toxic
I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. As long as he is cleaning it up, it shouldn't be a big deal that he does it there.
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thank you. I really appreciate this honesty. he might be bi or even gay but I shouldn't be part of his self finding process for my own sake. it's just heart breaking because he still (or used to be) one of my best friends
It was simple he actually enjoyed it, as long as you don't find out, things would be okay for him (hence the lies and cover ups) That was what he was hoping.
Unless you plan on this being a regular occurrence, break it off!!
Lmao you sound unhinged unless there’s something I’m missing.
There’s something going on. She might be good at her work ok but that much good that he can’t get over it for days. She should have a promotion then why stay in this job .
No he’s telling you all this so you won’t doubt why he’s always taking her and gave her an office close to his.
He probably has an affair with her.
How do you rebuild trust? How do you get past this?
Building trust almost never happens. It needs an incredible amount of naked work, dedication and understanding over a very long time from the cheater. The problem is if the cheater was capable of doing this they never would have cheated in the first place. As for getting past this as long as you are in this relationship you never truly will. Best case scenario you forgive them but you will never forget and the pain will always be there just under the surface ready to come back an hurt you deeply when you least expect it.
The chances of successfully repairing a relationship devastated by cheating are so slim and the amount of effort it takes is so great that it is rarely worth the attempt. This is not a long term relationship with naked to sever ties (children, business, property, large debt ) it is not worth going through the extra pain and suffering. Do yourself a favor and move on as quickly as you can and start your healing process.
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I didn’t ask for your political views of my home country.
UpdateMe!
They “why” doesn't really matter here. Either partner, in any relationship, has the unilateral right to end the relationship at any time, for any reason, or for no reason.
She exercised her right to end it it, and that's it.
You need to accept that it's over. Leave her alone if that is what she wants. Don't follow her around, don't wait around in places where you know she will be so you can look at her. That's stalking.
She doesn't owe you an explanation, she doesn't owe you closure, she doesn't owe you anything. YOU owe her her peace and space- so leave her alone.
”Im not happy with you, the difficulties are many and I'm tired”
It affects people differently. I myself have been taking TRT for several months now for low testosterone. It's a pretty low dose, but for myself it has given me more energy and motivation, an overall feeling of feeling “better” and has had the opposite effect on my libido. I feel like a teenager again with my wife, though it's a 50/50 battle sometimes because I'm also on SSRI for OCD and depression. But it can have negative affects on your personality for some people. Is this a doctor prescribed dosage or is this a personal “I'm going to juice up before I hit the gym” kind of situation? Sounds more like some sort of early midlife crisis and the testosterone is an easy scapegoat, but who knows? Testosterone can cause slight physical changes and some mood swings, but I don't know about completely changing ones personality.
Yea this is stupid and seems oddly territorial. It's just a dance
her reasoning for wanting me to sell my place makes me feel like I'm basically coming second to all the other aspects of her life.
I think you mean to say you feel second fiddle to each of those other things, but they're not individual, they're nearly her whole life besides you. One year in, you should come second to the whole rest of her life. It's her whole life! You're one aspect of her life, too. Obviously she wants to keep growing the relationship, but that doesn't mean she needs to treat you like y'all are already married.
Long-term, where do each of you want to live? It sounds like she wants to on-line in the city, but you prioritize some things you need to be in the suburbs to get. I don't really understand what's going on with your friends, are they from a small town even further from the city? Just spread through other burbs? Because lots of burb people do go into the city, I don't know that your fear of seeing them even less is reasonable. Back to your relationship, does she fear that if she moves out to the burbs that you'll never move into the city? Would you, for her?
Nope. It is legal in Vegas. Check out The Bunny Ranch.
Rule of thumb – until the girl doesnt say she wants to be exclusive you dont put any label on the relationship and automatically assume that you both see other people.
This girl is full of red flags, be careful not to hurt yourself – stayed in an unhealthy relationship – had fwb relationships – didnt have a normal boyfriend at all – was willing to fuck two random guys
Double standards of course but these are not the signs of the perfect girlfriend.
He’d lied before. Last year around this date. Now I found out because I had the feeling he was being sketchy and hiding something so I unlocked his phone and saw the opened tabs (didn’t really went through his phone, just looked enough to see the was sth he was hiding) I’d never done that before, I know it was wrong and I hate myself for it, but I had asking him if he was doing it, he said no but I had a gut feeling. Last year I found out because he left a conversation open in his computer.
For context: He’d done in character role playing. I really didn’t know what it was about but it made me feel uneasy thinking of him having like intimate conversations with other people live. I’d never read an ERP, so I was just talking from ignorance. It never occurred to me to ask him more details or to show me one. He said it was like creating a story… I just didn’t understand how… Now that we broke up, I asked him to show me and ERP that he had done. And I feel so stupid that it was like reading a fan fiction and it didn’t make me feel as uncomfortable as I though it would. If I had known earlier maybe I wouldn’t have asked him not to do it… too late now. But what really bothers me is the lie. I’d he had told me earlier how important ir was for him… and that he really felt like he needed to do it… as part of his creativeness or whatever… maybe we would have broken up anyway! But at least without lies in between.
We’ve been talking about getting back together (which I really want, because we still love each other) I just need to trust him again to be with him and know he won’t lie with other more important stuff.
Nope no one hurt me, these kinds of posts come up a lot. I just find it interesting that he was happy as when he starting fucking someone else, not thinking about his wife, then started struggling when she started doing the same thing.
This is not someone you want to be in a relationship with. You will eventually be responsible for your sister if she lives past your parents and whatever that will entail you want a partner who is supportive.
I have a favorite pair of shoes, I don't suddenly stop being able to recognize an aesthetically pleasing shoe.
Sigh. Let me try this again. Employer provided healthcare often comes in family plans. Separating those individually is extremely complicated, but let's allow for that. The point is if someone says “I think it's a good idea to separate finances” what is to be separated is a different discussion. There exists, in the realm of possibility, if person B, upset at the idea of the overall idea of separating finances in the first place says, well if we're going to separate, we might as well separate everything, including the healthcare plan, etc…
The point is, that is a possibility as to how healthcare insurance ended up in the mix when it otherwise under normal circumstances wouldn't. Who proposed healthcare insurance being split is not said, contrary to the person who made the statement that “her husband forced her to go back to work to pay health insurance”.
I don't think you're the type of person that will believe anything I have to say, so I'm probably wasting my time here responding to this post. I can assure you, even though you truly believe I'm lying (for whatever reason), I have been tackling the lion's share of the household responsibilities. Why is this so naked for you to accept? I'm truly sorry, I guess I rub you the wrong way.
You can think what you want, there is nothing I can do to change that. In the end it doesn't really matter though. I just feel bad my post got you so worked up. You don't even know me and it feels like you despise me.
Why would he want to see your side? He’s doesn’t want to. He wants you to do whatever he says. There is nothing you can say to convince him. Is this what you want your life to be? Taking care of an abuser who hates your family and isolates you?
This is my concern. I like to be flexible, I know no one is perfect, but this seems like a big deal.
I'll give you the same advice I give to every woman stuck with a porn using loser. Dump him and move on. There's nothing wrong with you it's him. It's his problem. This is just one way porn causes harm. The majority of reddit will tell you differently because they're of the same mindset, that porn isn't bad and it's perfectly “normal”, but it's not it's just normalized.
Wanting to jerk off to other people having sex instead of actually having sex with the person you love is not normal. He's aware of how you feel and he hasn't even tried to be better. What exactly are you getting out of this relationship?
He was one of the ones we read about all the time on reddit.
“My SO's friends at work are telling her we need to break up”
Dude grow a pair
Yeah but no oral in five years after years of giving
You need to breakup immediately. If she get preggo then you need a DNA test for paternity. What she is doing is setting you up.
I really don't know and I'm annoyed with myself. I'm sick of it all. That I am the way I am. How I look. That I don't know what to do with myself and lately I'm jealous when F. talks on the phone with his best friend (and as info: she is lesbian), writes or generally with other people. I don't know if it's the fear of losing him or that I'm jealous because I would like that too. Maybe both. I'm afraid of how the whole thing will look like in the future because I'm going to exams soon and then the “real, real life” will start and I hate myself for not being able to get a therapy place… like I said, I'm sorry that this is probably too much and I'm also honestly afraid of what you think of me.
[8/9]
Your parents are racist assholes, and you need to be more culturally aware about how fucked up and rude their behaviour is. You will never have a happy relationship if you allow them to to treat your partners this way, and don’t think that they’re going to treat an Igbo man much better because this behaviour goes beyond culture. Honestly if I was your boyfriend I would have broken up with you on the spot.
You need a backbone.
10 percent is she has said no but her husband doesn't want to hear it.
Though, this whole tantrum of his is baffling. Getting an IUD removed is seriously not a big deal (hell, I popped out my own. Highly would NOT recommend, but that's how easy it is). She would be fertile immediately post-removal.
And his fantasy about how they would go about getting pregnant is naive delusion that is so beyond eye rolling.
They need to sit down and have a serious conversation about where they each are at on the question of kids and deal with the honest answers.
Thank you for your support
Graduation dates don't change, wedding dates can. You go to your graduation and have your moment. He picked a date that directly conflicted with your non-changing graduation date and has put you in a dilemma that could've been easily avoided, and because of that, you don't go to the wedding.
What concerns me is that she doesn’t seem to care about the damage her words did. It sounds like she is getting what she wants and that’s all that matters to her.
It’s not unreasonable he doesn’t want to go but he needs to knock it off with the negativity. Maybe a compromise would be he would go to a “big” race once in a while (is that a thing?).
OP, you can see for yourself he's immature & thoughtless. Perhaps not the right guy!
He and his friends were getting jollies at your frustration. Well, I don't think he's boyfriend material. Don't be so needy you put up with being disrespected.
He’s not helping because the status quo is working for him. You can’t make him want to help – you can only raise the costs of not helping. Specifically by going on strike or leaving him. I would vote for the latter, because you can absolutely find a man who will behave like an equal partner without ultimatums.
Don't tell me that he didn't find you attractive, I won't believe that… He may have “liked” many girls, but HE LIKED what he saw, without having a clue about their personalities, you know, anyone can write there whatever with no proof of being true or false…!
Report him and hopefully he’ll learn from that.
Have a heart to heart when he gets back. If he’s unwilling to talk about it, it’s time to move on. It’s ok to start putting yourself first.
I took it to mean he woke her up 2-3 times in a night from the masturbating, not that he was doing it 2-3 times. If I’m wrong then yeah holy shit.
The advice is leave. Speak to your family and get out. Stop putting roadblocks in the way. This is not normal for any relationship.
DTMFA. You're worth more than this.
Tell him what?
How long would you stay at a hotel? What does that solve?
If he’s not around much now, why spend the money? It’s not like you need more distance and there isn’t really extra stress. Just you feel lonely.