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Yes, I can tell you for a fact that my husband is extremely aroused by me undressing even though we are coming up on our 5 year wedding anniversary.
He just seems like he isn't attracted to her.
I’m just being insecure then
She allowed the friend to remain close by though.
It's not naked for women to get sex. her sleeping with vhs BF is out of revenge. What if after some fight, that feeling came back? Shell say she didn't want to hurt him but she was just protecting her self image because she knew that her actions were a huge betrayal
He sounds completely irrational and immature. I would re-think the relationship if I were you.
It partially makes me feel like i’m lacking what he wants, and I’m unsure how to properly express my feelings in this manner. My worry might be that I will come off as controlling with an issue like that.
You know who else thinks they're entitled to your body? Rapists.
I dont care he is liar.
Wham Bam Thank you Mam! Pretty much sums up his view of your relationship. However difficult it is, staying with a man you bore a child to, who thinks you're 'grotesque' and is looking to cheat or is already, will destroy you mentally and physically. This shallow POS has had his fun with you and will make life hell for the both of you, pity you fell pregnant to him but the nasty ones wear good masks. After you leave him make sure he's on the hook for child support and alimony if applicable, just because he's a prick doesn't absolve him of his responsibility. Wish you well.
You need to stop being a p*ssy and protect your child and your peace. Get a lawyer.. he says we need to hold off and then does this.. girl get a lawyer asap and stop going on well he said.. he’s gonna do whatever his girl says so stop being a doormat and get your stuff together for your daughter.
Yea I think she’s just super immature
I totally resonate with this. Try having a conversation and don't go on assumptions. Maybe he has in mind to have a conversation about you when he visits India and his feelings about having a future with you.
If he is even a bit worth your while, take a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised. In case the conversation didn't go as planned, you will know that you ducked from getting a raw deal.
Happy cake day ?
Does he watch a lot of porn? If so he needs to stop and retrain himself to be able to have real sex.
If you get sore you’ll get infections as the vaginal lining will be compromised.
My ex and I went on a two week break, reconciled, and then broke up 3 months later ?
Hmm, it seems this trend is growing.
Whether it's what you're doing Insta is now seen as a dating app, so rightly or wrongly he sees it as you advertising and unless it's on private, it sorta is.
But if he was so pressed to go to your school and just break up with, you may have dodged a bullet. He's is insecure but the way relationships are these days I understand why he's paranoid. But are you a bad girlfriend? Nah.
Now go date someone in your friendzone?
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One time hit…so how many is too many times? Where do you draw the line? 10? 50? Was this genuinely the first time he’s hit you?
One time is one time too many.
This was a horrifying read. I hope you get away soon. Womens shelter is a good start
He would consent, but I don't feel this is a healthy way to on-line.
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Lol… the ‘not trusting your partner’ thing is sometimes a reason that rich people propose a pre-nup which exclusively benefits them… in case the other person is a ‘gold digger.’
But a pre nup which actually maintains proper spousal and financial support for the stay at home spouse in the event of a divorce seems fine for all to agree to.
And be aware that you can’t include things like ‘if you cheat on me, I won’t pay a cent in child support or share custody of the children’ because pre-nups are to do with financial assets and not human children.
If a divorced couple has children, the courts decide on child support and custody at the time of the divorce.
They are both yellow
but sex is a crucial part of marriage
I mean, it can be important, but if someone is unable to have sex, the relationship needs to be able to survive.
Why are you fighting more? Is it one of you more than the other of you that is pissy because they aren't getting laid?
My ex husband was a raging asshole when he didn't feel like he was getting the sex he “needed”. To the point if pressure even if idnhad medical procedures, or after is given birth and had a tear. I will NEVER tolerate any kind of jerkish behavior at not getting sex again. I love sex, if I'm not having it, there is a reason and my partner needs to be able to understand that.
you literally said they made jokes about how a girl who is 18 is “too old” for them. as the comment you replied to said, you realize other girls who want to go down the same career path with be subjected to these “jokes” and your whole “as long as it isn't happening to me anymore” mentality is going to make things worse. fuck his career, stand up for others. just because it doesn't bother you, doesn't mean it doesn't bother anyone else. it's gross and “boys will be boys” is such an outdated way of thinking. you're excusing their “jokes” with that attitude. it's gross.
Sorry but you kinda made all the wrong choices. I guess you can still tell James how you feel, not much to lose there
The other person I’m talking to isn’t so much a romantic interest at this point, as the only thing we really have going is that spark. Started talking to her A LOT early last year, now it’s just occasional
You’re right, it could take some time so I wanna give it a little more. It’s only been a few dates, and I might be a bit quick to judge. The communication thing is a good point though, we might be different in that regard. Thanks for the advice!
Just remember you deserve consistency and happiness.
Again, I really feel like you need to disconnect the two issues.
The fear of having a child too soon is not the same as what it will be like to have a child that you have planned for.
These are not subtle hints – these are not aberrations. She's hoping you flip the fuck out, which would give her a solid excuse to leave.
This is extremely controlling abusive behavior. I’m not normally a just automatically jump to break up as 1st option but in this close you need to get TF out now. I would make sure you have all your stuff situated, no important items at his place if you don’t already on-line together, and just ghost this dude cause he won’t take a break up well if he is this controlling and paranoid.
It’s not about putting out, wtf is wrong with you? It’s that when they do have sex he doesn’t make her cum. That’s super important actually. Also literally nowhere does it say they have amazing sex otherwise. He got slightly better two times because she guided him a lot…and then he proceeded to stop trying again. He is not a good guy if he doesn’t care about her pleasure. He is selfish.
You know….. if somebody starts to look for something new…. they are done. If the place of a boyfriend is “occupied” then you dont flirt like that because you dont want to/need to and would feel bad about it. The lies are out. She went with him. She met with him knowing it was wrong, but she didnt care. This relationship can only survive if she is making a 180 and if she is really trying to make it work. For me it sounds like she checked out ?♀️
If this is the only thing that makes you want to stop being friends, then this would be a silly move and a dick one. Sometimes people get distracted.
If however this is part of a broader pattern of behaviour where you feel like they don't appreciate you enough, then yeah. Maybe consider finding better friends if you don't feel like you can talk to them about this.
Girl this is a 40 year old man and he’s acting like accidents don’t happen. Idk what arrangement or whatever you guys have going on exactly but we get away from him and never look back. You have the right idea just make sure to go thru with it. Not being able to handle a simple mistake is a red flag and not even worth the time.
She literally said “I don't think I want children anymore” but PLEASE extrapolate wildly to prove some weird fucking point?
People are allowed to change their minds. That doesn’t make her a manipulator.
Just continue to treat her as you always have, without commenting that she called you dad. It could have been a subconscious utterance, meaning she thinks of you somewhere in her mind as her dad now. This is because you are always there; her dad cannot be.
I think it must be very naked to deal with the loss of all the ideas and plans you had for the future when you get a divorce. It seems to me like you’re assuming a lot of things with not a lot of information, since your mom doesn’t seem like she wants to talk about it, which is totally understandable.
Missing or loving someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you want them back, or that you can trust them again, you dad lied and betrayed his marriage and his family and only thought about himself. I don’t know your mom but I think she has many more reasons to not want to get back together with him than you and your sister. Their life as a couple was completely turned upside down.
My parents also got a divorce because my dad cheated, and I really advise you to not interfere, it’s their relationship, if they want to get back together, they will.
Agree. OP is making excuses, even though the vast majority of us are going to say “well you need to leave ”
Op, how do you not know if the house is also in your name or not? A house is a huge purchase and I think you'd know if you were part of the buying process.
Stop decorating, stop buying anything and just leave. You don't have kids, you aren't married. Just go.
Yea so she didnt TELL you, and had no intention. Shes playing you, this may not be the first time. Shes sorry bc u caught her not bc she cheated. You will not be able to trust her again, time for her to go.
Dump her
Good luck, and let us know…
I would start honestly but soujg exactly what you told him you would do: take this time for yourself while you process your feelings
I don’t have to ask anything or comment at all as you took the thoughts right from my mind. Simply wanted you to know… I thought, same.
You sound sexually incompatible. You will only grow to resent him with each encounter. You may lose interest in sex, or he may. The paranoia of possibly catching an STD or getting pregnant would be immeasurable. This is also a common thing men do to try and cheat without guilt. If you shut it down, he may cheat on you.
There's so much pain that could come from this and you gain nothing.
To be honest, I'm not optimistic that you'll get any change out of him. But it's worth a shot.
I'm basing that prediction off the common stereotype of how many lazy manchilds there are out there and the likelihood that you're with one. But I don't know him or the specifics of your situation so there's always a chance.
But you may want to prepare yourself for the possibility that he simply doesn't see a need to lift a finger to do anything differently, ever. And prepare yourself to recognize if/when that quality of his becomes certain, and brace yourself as to what kind of decision you want to make with that knowledge.
Or, maybe you'll get through and he'll have an epiphany.
Oh! I have more advice I forgot to mention: Body language, focus, and attention.
When you have this conversation, look him in the eye, facing him with your entire body, and speak calmly and clearly. No background TV or messing with a phone. “I need your full attention for a few minutes to talk about something. If not right now, can we schedule a time later, like perhaps 6pm tonight?” or something.
Make sure you have the full attention for this conversation.
My Aunt and Uncle have a happy marriage but there was one tiny thing he was doing that bothered her, something to do with the radio in the car, I forget the exact details, but the point was she would ask, he would say sure, but then he wouldn't ever actually do it. She'd drop it until it bothered her too much and she'd ask again, and the cycle just kept repeating.
To break the cycle, she got his full attention and really had that heart-to-heart of “this matters to me” and he finally got the message and actually put effort into adjusting his habits for her. Because after all he loved her and didn't want her to be upset… mostly he just didn't get that 'vibe' that she was actually as upset as she actually was…because she kept dropping it.
Above all you need to communicate that this is hurting you, not just at the time you're talking about it, but constantly. He either cares about not hurting you or he doesn't. That will show you what type of man he is and his opinion about your relationship and you. But you really gotta drive home the actual problem and that it's bigger than he's treating it. Even though the original problem itself is (relatively) small, the dismissal of the problem is the new problem that's the big problem.
(And don't forget, you're a team vs the problem. Not you vs him. But he has to show he's joining that team.)
Going with multiple guys? You call that doing well? Thats not healing, you are healing. I'm happy to hear that you respect yourself and you would not lower your standards for her no matter how much you love her. Just because she's going out and having fun doesn't mean she is healing herself to reach a greater goal. That however it sounds like you are so you are the better person and someday the right one will come along.
Dating multiple guys doesn’t necessarily mean she’s doing better and is happy. This happens a lot where from an outside perspective, some people seem like they’re living their lives when in reality they’re miserable and aren’t showing it publicly. Don’t focus on her and don’t keep up with what she’s doing. Focus on yourself.
Don't just say “do you mind if I play?” If you want to play for her and for her to listen, say, “Can I play for you?”. Don't expect her to be a mind-reader.
For me, I am quite self-conscious when I play instruments, and if I'm just practising I'd rather my partner not listen. Maybe she thinks the same way and she thinks she's actually being considerate of you.
Talk. Talk talk talk talk talk.
Im kinda in your girlfriends position so I can offer some advice I guess. I got a UTI that turned septic and landed me in the hospital 8 months ago, could have been much worse if not treated. Last month I got a UTI and a yeast infection. Before this I was on the mend. Has a super high libido with my partner, like 5 times a week if not multiple times a day. Since getting a UTI we haven't been intimate at all. I am scared. Ive taken meds and things have cleared up but I literally don't even want to be touched. Yes its causing issues to say the least. Ive talked with my therapist and I guess its trauma related and my last partner just kinda basically left me in the hospital in my mind to die (im being a bit dramatic but it definitely could have happened). And so im pushing my boyfriend away now.
Getting physically ill from something and someone you enjoy doing is a bummer. Give her time and space to recover physically and mentally and it might mean just taking a step back. Rediscover the magic of getting intimate and foreplay again when the time comes. You can shower before, pee after. There are some great supplements for vaginal health (if the doctor approves) but unfortunately some people are just more prone to them than others. I hope it gets better for you guys.
If you wanna talk anymore my dms are open.