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Why are you posting this again?
no
Don’t ditch your schoolwork for your boyfriend. Your education is the most important thing right now. If your boyfriend doesn’t understand the sacrifices you have to make to achieve your educational goals, he shouldn’t be your boyfriend.
I was completely unintentionally doing this to my boyfriend at the start of our relationship. From my perspective, I really enjoyed the fact that we had different perspectives on things and could debate them without (I thought) the disagreement impacting our relationship. From his perspective, I was smugly challenging every point he made and I always had to be right.
He told me how he felt, I had had no idea it was upsetting him, and I adjusted the behaviour. It took some time as I hadn't realised I was doing it, I asked him to tell me as soon as he felt like the debate wasn't fun anymore and he did. Now 5 years later it's not an issue anymore and our relationship is stronger than ever. And yes, we still enjoy a friendly debate from time to time, but I'm more careful with how I debate and when to stop. Which if I'm honest has been a helpful skill for me to learn with other people too, and I'm very grateful he took the time to tell me I was bothering him rather than just breaking up.
I don't think I ever called him 'stupid' though, it was always his opinion I was challenging, not him, I enjoy it because of how much I like and respect him. So this might not be what's going on here. Just wanted to offer an alternate perspective.
I don't think you know what an analogy is. So your connection between a girlfriend upset that her partner is liking photos of boobs on twitter and someone ranting about dog poo is that both are “stupid insane”? That doesn't make it a good analogy lmao.
I don't care about your wellbeing, i was looking for insight. You didn't tell me how long your current relationship is but thank you for explaining why your advice is so bitter and bad, you had a bad personal experience and now you're projecting that experience on to others and giving them terrible advice because of it.
I'm sorry you got cheated on, but that experience doesn't mean you now have good relationship advice for people.
How long is your current relationship?
Sorry for what your going through. If you both wanted to make it work you could but It doesn't sound like he's actually interested in you. It seems like he already got what he wanted(sex) either that or he's in a relationship/married. I hope that's not the case. I wish you luck and hope it gets better
Bringing a baby into this relationship would make things so much worse. Deal with your relationship problems before bringing a baby into the world. Buying a house, proposing & a baby sounds so overwhelming to you maybe?
Just know that autistics embrace technicality and literal thinking. Asking him point blank and specific questions will be the only way you’ll get real answers
Your ex-boyfriend is a douche he doesn't social anxiety because if he did he would not have been able to pick up the phone dial for escort have sex with her. Then he calls you to make your Christmas f***** up to tell you that he's a douche you know what we do with douches after we finish using them we throw them in the f****** garbage
Those are all a lot of heavy things to think about. Perhaps you might want to postpone the wedding, and have a few sessions with a marriage counsellor both individual and with your fiancé?
Good luck.
Even if nothing he did nothing else, driving a Miata in the snow makes him too stupid to function.
Don’t apologise to her, she was being disrespectful the entire time. Also how can she be Indian and say that? I guess she should make the same statements to her grandparents and her mother and father.
OP, you need to give yourself a decent amount of time to process through the dissolution of your marriage. Therapy would probably REALLY help speed that process along, but you're gonna have to do some personal development work and mental health/physical health maintenance stuff. You have lessons to process, and are gonna need time to work through your shit before you're going to be able to bring a complete, fulfilled, happy person to the table in a potential relationship. I'm guessing you're ultimately wanting to build a future with a partner. In which case, why not improve your overall desirability and command higher quality relationships?
Right now you're in the “wrapping up this chapter of my life” stage. Next, comes personal development. You're writing the introduction to the next chapter. So shut down your story arcs with relationships that aren't mutually beneficial. Choose your priorities and direction carefully. Seek guidance about those through therapy. Disentangle yourself from this, and get ready to be a more fully developed main character in the next chapter of the story you're writing for yourself.
Ok, now I need to know what has happened at his sleepovers in the past…
If you don't agree why are you doing it?
I mean, I agree with Joe being a weenie but how does Joe being in love with Natalie surprises their friend group? Specially if they met Natalie and Joe before meeting OP.
Doesn’t seem you have to be very smart to figure out how it will turn out… specially after knowing they have been sexually intimate. The only way they wouldn’t end up together would be if one was a different sexuality, and even then…. No guarantees. Those types of bonds are STRONG
Give him his baby and you leave him with the rest of his children.
Why should he have to suffer?
If I was him I would take that baby and all the kids.
Honestly OP just came in here to be validated. Being challenged and their comments in here are kinda painting a picture of what’s going on in their relationship
Personally, I couldn't have someone come into my home and change that much. I'd rethink her living situation for now.
She's not making any concessions, it's “I want to be comfortable in my home and you need to make that happen for me at the expense of your hobbies/happiness”. If that's the case, I wouldn't be comfortable having such an unbendable person living in my home and I definitely wouldn't want to be in a long term relationship with them.
I’ve been on Reddit for a decade and have never been sent CP. that’s reported and deleted immediately, anything else is criminal.
Him not being locked up probably has more to do with more evidence, not less.
Big +1, a class on paragraphs would go a long way.
Oh no I read everything and I get the impression that you want to show off what a great guy you are.
Do you know what it usually means to “accommodate” when breaking up with someone who lives with you? YOU offer to move, not them. Since you prob can't, you should AT LEAST pay for a motel, a cheap shared room etc whatever available, for the first time.
Who can stay in the apartment of the person who broke up with them, even though you were perfect and gave your best AND played the nurse/ caretaker for all the time?! There is no other way you could “accommodate”, so don't try to talk yourself out with that
2¹¹¹¹¹
So he is an angry violent person who you knowing he was pissed at your grandma, got in a car with and drove 5 hrs. The one thing he said to you is he wanted to avoid your family…so you were part of a plan for a surprise birthday party at grandmas house with your family without the issue having been dealt with????? fail #1. You then tried to convince/force him to go in knowing that was the exact opposite of what he wanted to do! fail #2. You guilt tripped him into coming over the next evening he was feeling unwell and wanted to leave, your uncle decided he was going to teach your boyfriend somethings. You stood there knowing he was in pain and did not intervene even though you recognised his discomfort, only stepped in once you uncle had triple jumped all over the line. At this point you defended your uncle again while he was in pain and pissed off then decided to stay with the aggressor while he was in pain and pissed off because suddenly you were scared he would become violent, the person who had not up to that point been violent at all!!! He on the drive back had a moment of clarity about you not having his back or respecting how he feels or standing up for him. In fact you showed him that your family was no1 and he was a far distant whatever. Fail#3. What were you confused about? You took your grandma’s side and tried to make her feel better at his expense. You ignored and trampled over the on thing he asked of you, then guilt tripped him into coming. You defended your uncle! You left him alone in pain! you made multiple choices that weekend that benefited you and your family how many that put him first or showed you listened and supported him? I counted none. That is why he left that is why you can’t fix this. This is why you should not try. There is no way you are a caring loving girlfriend who just happened to repeatedly and consistently not have his back or care about his feelings the whole weekend!
he sat next to me constantly sniffing and picking his nose. He was super antsy shaking his leg and rocking in his chair. I could see sweat on his face
Exactly like someone who had done cocaine
he got mad, stormed downstairs and told everyone that I thought that he was on cocaine.
Because he was on cocaine
he continued to storm around the house all mad
Just like someone on cocaine
You bf messed up. He did some coke, got freaked out when you copped on immediately and decided to make out that you were the problem. He then got his bro to back him up.
I have terrible allergies and asthma. I do not sweat, rock and shake. Nor do I stomp around houses shouting and mad. If someone thought I was on cocaine instead of pollen I would have found it very funny. Your bf has problems.
He has money to take his friend out but not you? Seems like he is still not prioritizing you or your feelings.
Yeah it was shady that she just told you. And a little rude that she had to throw it in your face that there wouldn't be room for you anyway. But if you don't trust her why waste more time in the relationship.
OP,
Please heed this advice.
Please walk away from this boyfriend of yours. Your young and have your whole future in front of you. Your BF is disrespecting you every time he talks to Ty. You should have never put any effort into being in the same room as Ty. You should have said absolutely NO.
Ty has lied to you,(not sure why your speaking to him, even if it was through text or not), he is trying to get you two to split up. Your BF has no self control or he would have never talked to Ty again.
So walk away from this relationship and never look back.
Until this changes, sleep in a different room with a lock on the door.
You're asking yourself why. But I think it's glaringly obvious. He doesn't have a problem with lying through his teeth. He doesn't respect you. And he's had a great gig up to this point. And frankly it's only going to get better if you stay.
He's been able to play house with you. He gets the love and affection of a committed partner. He gets help with housework, meals, and all the other things you do for him. He gets a caretaker for his kids. And he gets sex from you plus even more on the side.
You mentioned you never thought he would do something like this because he talked about commitment and loyalty. This is just proof that he actually doesn't give a fuck. That's all been a lie. And apparently an easy lie at that.
The embarrassment here isn't yours to carry. It's his. So unburden yourself and let him carry his own shit. You believed him because he's a good liar. You believed what he showed you because your a normal human being with morals and you don't think like someone like him. You trust like the rest of us do. But when someone shows you who they are you need to trust that too. Now that you know it's time for you to decide the type of life you want to live!. How you move through this world. Hopefully that's someone that realizes their worth and moves on to find someone else who does respect you. Not someone who puts up with lies and mistreatment because it's easier to suffer then stand up for yourself.
You've said it's not easy to leave you have a house and kids. But it will only get harder the longer you stay. It's ok to take your time and get your ducks in a row. But don't sell yourself short.
You also said your kids are young so they won't be harmed by this. But if you stay do they not get older? So that's only a point if you do in fact leave. I've never met someone who said they were glad their parents stuck it out for the kids. But I've definitely met people who wish they hadn't. Who suffered because they grew up in a household where one partner was being mistreated. Where they were modeled that love is disrespect. And that shit takes a huge toll.
He seems to have shown no remorse although at this point even that's not really good enough. I mean he's shown you he's capable of living a double life for your entire relationship. Now he's lieing and pretending he was only getting his rocks off to booking no show massages. Come on. If that was true he would be showing you the messages to prove that it's not as bad as one would assume. Instead he changed the number and locked you out. You know what he's doing. He won't stop.
If you don't leave now he knows that you have as much respect for yourself as he has for you. He knows he can cheat on you. He knows he can keep lying because there are no repercussions.
Do not marry this man. Seek counsel on child support and co-parenting. Rally your friends and family around you. Find a safe loving home for your kid(s). Let him carry the embarrassment of his actions. Let him call everyone and tell them there will be no wedding because he's been cheating on you and your kids.
You WILL have a broken face if you think this is acceptable. You don't want a broken face. I have a broken face.
Thanks! I will look into it!
Thanks! I will look into it!
I don't date people with opposing political views. Differences are absolutely fine, but I could never date a conservative right wing woman. Its quite frankly a turn off.
he loves that he can brag about you being of service to him, even when he’s a shitty partner. this isn’t a positive, love. men like that, who are easily emasculated, will use the women in their lives to make themselves feel like more of a man while being a dogshit partner. he doesn’t need you to protect him, but has figured out how to manipulate you. i’d suggest bringing this to a therapist.