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If she did the breaking up and you were devastated by it, then the reason for your fantasies are not that you really want to cheat.
It's an ego thing. The pain and possible humiliation of the breakup is something your unconscious mind wishes to forget. But because you haven't forgotten the pain yet, you compensate with sexual fantasies.
This is very common. And now that you know this, it will get better.
Why are you still with him?
They are an ex for a reason.. There is no reason why they should still be hanging out or talking.
My thoughts would go to the fact that they are hanging with someone they have loved, cared about, fucked and made loved to.. And have a history with.. Fuck no
Your mother is an asshole. F**k her. Seriously. She's not the one who's going to have to life your life if you go along with what she has planned for you.
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It sounds like you both have some pretty substantial issues separately to work through. Please don't take that as a criticism as most of us do. Realistically both of you probably need a therapist of your own and working on the relationship, if that's what you actually both want, should come once you're both on solid footing.
You're probably right about the suicide attempt. It can be scary letting someone know you've fallen out of love with them and things get volatile at this stage more often than we would like to admit. If that's what she wants, you need to respect it without any guilt trips or implications that things would get rough for her.
The reality is you share a family with those three kids and you always will. With the love you have for the kids in mind, the goal should be healthy space and transitions while everyone gets to a better place. Lots of couples have unconventional arrangements to accomplish this, it's possible, and I wish you the absolute best in trying to get to that point.
For anyone wondering also, there are two different extended release formulations of Wellbutrin that work differently for people. SR and XL versions. I've heard from some people that the XL never worked for them but SR did or vice versa. So for anyone considering switching, just know there are options and if one doesn't work the other might. Or might not but worth a shot for some folks.
BTW, this is a US cultural thing. Not many in Europe circumcised except for religious reasons. Your wife sounds brutal. She needs to learn a few empathic traits.
Time to find a grown ass man who knows that living with the one person in the world you love more than yourself is a dream come true. Done.
Your last sentence is what so many people don’t seem to get. They’ll talk about someone 20 years older like they’re an entirely different species that will only enter a relationship if there are ulterior motives. Older people are still just people and relationships are too complicated and nuanced to throw around blanket statements about people being predators just because they happen to be older.
A famous Danish author and tv producer was once asked what within the last 100 years had been the two most liberating things for women (she was more than 100 years old when she died a couple of weeks ago and a well known feminist).
Her answer was the washing machine and birth control had both made a huge difference in the lives of ordinary women.
The washing machine reduced the housewife's work significantly and the birth control (that wasn't condoms) gave women the freedom for the very first time to be in complete control of the number of children they had.
This will be a more interesting story and funny to boot, than s perfect boring engagement story. This is your story. Congratulations, but engagements and anniversaries are for you both and any children you have. Do not go around comparing notes with gfs. This is real life and you have to learn to laugh a little bit.
Bruh. Bruh. Please divorce your child wife. Jesus Christ, your post history is terrifying and so far from normal I almost can't believe it.
So she cheated on you?
He unilaterally changed your plans and future. Do you really think that's a good quality in a husband?
If I was you, the relationship needs to go long distance and you need to be as committed to your future as he is to his.
Then maybe is time to seek counseling to get the questions answered.
He’s never going to reciprocate, and you deserve someone who’ll eat your taco with as much effort and enjoyment as you are the hotdog. Get rid of this broke brain twit (that stain of guilt and wretchedness that Catholicism leaves on someone’s soul is NEVER going to wash off) and find a kind, caring guy who will love you for you, and who will prioritize your pleasure.
I think we are missing a whole lot of context/info and I think if we heard your girlfriend’s side it would be quite different.
Regardless, if y’all aren’t sexually compatible and it’s causing this much of an issue then move on.
People who work late shifts often hang out after work, just like people with typical working hours do. If you think that means he's off cheating, no one can change that, but your life isn't going to be great if you don't trust your partner.
If he was working 9-5 and staying with colleges till 7pm would you believe the same thing? Is it possible for him to hang out after work and you NOT think this?
When should he be hanging out with his workmates other than after work?
Some people have sensory issues where they just FEEL everything more.
My daughter is like this… does she have a headache or nausea or whatever then she doesn't want to do things. Yes, she is getting treatment for underlying issues but she still feels more. I deal with it because it is my daughter and try to get her to do stuff when she is feeling good.
But if my partner was not taking any steps to deal with this I don't know if I would choose them to build a life with.
I assume he acts like this with you because he feels comfortable with you…just like little kids act okay at school but fall apart at home because they feel safe.
Maybe you could say to him:
“I have noticed you have major sensory issues… be it paper cuts or babies crying…I know they affect you more than the average person. However, they are affecting our life to a great degree… I am getting burnt out picking up the slack. I need you to take charge of yourself and not melt into a puddle when something happens. I have seen you do it around your friends and family.. If you get a paper cut, then you need to put pain ointment on it and then do the dishes later, not expect me to do it. Or if you hear babies screaming you need to get out some noise canceling headphones and deal with it. Maybe there is more to your health than I know, but I know I cannot deal with all the cancellation/changing of plans. “
She'll honestly just think he's kidding lol
He’s not clueless. He’s flirting. Right in front of you. I think you might be a little clueless in this situation (I mean this as nicely as possible). He’s a grown man who likes the attention of two women.