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If people are mismatched religiously, it's not a good fit.
It's really up to the friend to decide what marriages she wants to endorse based on her principles. If she doesn't come, it doesn't mean she doesn't love you.
I actually have BPD…
Did I ask?
…and there you go.
Make sure you find time to debrief with an objective someone
(see: Counselor, Clergy)
to stow any baggage
from that relationship before you go after another. Just sayin…….
My ex has already moved on. So if the chance is there and she's feeling it, then she'll take it. But I can't really judge or say anything about that. It's my friend that I believe will take advantage of the situation
Your chat bot doesn't make sense
A forth date
yeah okay. thank you so much!
I'm just going to circle back around to my original comment and suggest you ask him why he doesn't want to have sex anymore.
Then, you and your bf are left with a very long talk.
You both commit to doing your best to make it work, or, break up.
And, if you aren't sure? Sorry to say this, but, I'd have to take the latter.
Look OP, a lot of people grow up with religious shame. I'm not downplaying the damage it can do, but what I'm seeing here are lots and lots of excuses on her end when the reality boils down to the fact that she doesn't want to have sex with you.
You even say that if you broke up now you think she'd have had sex by January, so why is it you think she'd have sex with someone else but is twisting herself into knots to avoid it with you? The very hot truth is that she is either not attracted to you or she has some deep-seated avoidance toward sex with you for some other reason, and she has no interest in addressing that. If she did, she would have by now because she'd also be desperate for a solution.
Either get rid of the boyfriend or rehome the kitten. Do not have children with this man. If something more serious happens to the cat in the future, it will be your fault. If you keep this cat and this man in the same household together, you would be the enabler. The thing with violence is that it often escalates. It starts with small things, like kicking a kitten down the stairs, and ends with big things.
Once found a pair of panties in my luggage and, to this day, dont know whose they were. Had not hooked up with anyone.
There are lots of people who won’t allow an unmarried couple to share a bed under their roof. I’m not saying it’s not homophobia, but they might also be uncomfortable with their daughter sharing a bed with a man. At any rate, their house, their rules. This is something your GF needs to work out with her parents before you arrive, otherwise YOU will seem extremely disrespectful.
As someone who does LSD regularly, that’s not common at all to slip someone with out their knowledge. It’s a 12 hour commitment. She wasn’t hallucinating and it’s typically known as a love drug, it’s not known to make people aggressive…. HOWEVER, too much alcohol is well known to make one aggressive. I think OP got too drunk and had a bad reaction to it.
okay so you were right
Woman here – she’s emotionally invested in the “potential”.
God wants the wife to be submissive to her husband, but the husband needs to treat her very well, if he is not doing his part, why should her?
Man idk, I think he might want some Christmas sex and shit, you’re his friend so really you can make the best decision on when to tell him but you definitely better tell him.
Talk to him calmly, explain that you were shocked when he said that given your history of a respectful relationship. Treat this as a communication issue, which I think it is. I’d say that everyone is entitled to a bad day, but then explain how it made you feel and figure out a plan for a better way to express himself during arguments. If he can’t hold space for that, if he can’t reasonably communicate once the tension is gone, then it’s a bigger issue
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GET OUT NOW.
My dude, I KNOW you aren't thinking about doing a blind proposal!!! We don't need any more of those fail videos on Youtube, dude!
Has she talked about getting married, even if she hasn't used that word? Has she talked about wanting to have a kid? Has she joked about getting married? Has she said anything?
DO NOT just propose.
But anyway. Assuming that all of the above has happened. I seriously doubt that it is possible to do. Women just have an uncanny intuition that it is impossible to get around, especially on something as important as getting married.
You quite simply will NOT surprise her about you proposing. I'm sorry, man. It just won't happen.
What you can do is make the proposal itself a surprise. Is that what you are talking about?
Here are some ideas. Bare in mind that all of them will give you away completely:
Talk to her friends about what style of engagement ring she will want. What style, what details does she want. Special things she likes in jewelry. You should ideally know a lot of this yourself already. [This is probably the only one that will not get back to her] This one is the better option, but the drawback is that you completely give yourself away. The plus is you get a better idea of what she wants. Take her to a jewelry store under the guise of getting ideas for Christmas or Birthday presents. Ask her details about what she likes in jewelry, what specific things she likes to have. Do the one above, but bring her attention to the engagement ring display case. Say,
“Hey babe, look at these.”
The drawback here is that you have completely blown your cover, but she gets to pretend not to know what you are doing.
Again have her tell you what she likes, etc., but in this case you might want her to do most of the talking.
You also want to think about how and where you want to propose.
First, will she say yes?
I don't know if you are aware but that is kind of an important part. Take a moment right now to think about it: will she say yes?
The answer should be obvious. Don't think about it. She is either completely committed or she isn't
Ask her what places are the most romantic, under the guise of wanting to take her on dates there. Etc.
Good luck, dude!
Age gap, bad partner, gotta breakup, I believe that's Reddit bingo.
Yeah… it’s not that uncommon to tell female friends we love them, or sign off messages with “xx”. Still, OP sounds like a reasonable person. If his spidey senses are tingling, then there’s probably cause for investigation ?
Give the 1k and stop whining. He's done a massive favour..
Have you not considered artificial insemination using donor sperm? Wow your husband deserves a better wife
It's fine if the man wants to be used for his money.
Considering he proposes dinner as a first date, and still chases the girl after she turned him down, I wouldn't be surprised if he is fine with that relationship.
OP, please read this. When you and your bf disagree about what you should do with your body, he will use trickery, physical force, physical restraint and IMPRISONMENT to ensure that you do what he wants. Please never return to a shared home with him.
She doesn’t tend to socialize herself with people she can learn from, it always partying or smoking/drinking
Confidence is attractive. Take your shot.
Thanks for reply, I agree it’s almost as petty as me having to counter charge her I’ve never had a relationship like this before, she’s got very hostile towards me the past year and think there’s underlined issues and anything to have a go at me about she grabs it
Bro you're a victim ?
READ YOUR OWN POST.
Op you’re selfish. This isn’t even about you but you’re making it about you. Just leave him if you think they love each other and want each other. You’re in the way of that. He doesn’t want the house you do. It’s not your house OP.
Why are you wasting your time any further? You’ve tried. You’ve learned. Maybe your next relationship can be with your divorce lawyer.
Upon reading the title, I think this is just overreacting. Upon reading the actual story…
I might sound very petty
You do. Quite.
I am tired of feeling like I have to practically beg to receive sometimes
But you did receive, didn't you? Per your words: 1.
He took me out to a nice dinner 2. made me pancakes for breakfast
So he made actual nice things for you, you did receive something.
he knows that my biggest love language is receiving physical presents… and I love flowers
Do you know what his biggest love language is? Funny you only mention “, receiving” because come to think of it, what did you do/gave him for Valentine's? Or is this just a one way relationship?
I don’t mean to be ungrateful
But you are. Quite.
You received nice gestures and physical presents (unless the food was imaginary), but you're pouting over flowers that will be dead in a couple of days?
You seem not only ungrateful and petty but also entitled.
My period makes me gassy. Should I be getting up in the middle of the night every 30 minutes to leave the room to fart?
That too with a guy who already has too kids. Not that it's a bad thing but he's not gonna be able to be there as much as a new mother needs.
Trouble remembering to brush his teeth? Boys are so clueless with certain things. This is rooted in a lack of self care. He actively chooses to not brush his teeth, it’s not that he forgets. I’d tell him straight out. Brush twice a day and floss or I’m out.
It literally isn’t, lol I wish it was
Sounds to me like she wanted a relationship but the guy she just had to try one last time did not so she’s settling for op
So either you guys are done because of your curiosity, insecurities, and self sabotage. Or, you ask her how you can give her pleasure. The. Do it and and enjoy it. Also get therapy
I know when my ex and I were still together, after we got married, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. But I also don't think you necessarily need that to make a relationship work
Then you are an absolute fool.
Break up with this man. He deserves better. I can't believe you're doing him dirty like this.
Yea but now you have someone who has waited 3 years and is harassing you for sex. That's a whole other red flag. Could you imagine touching someone or coercing someone to have sex w you? And then making THEM feel bad about it? I mean, if he wants sex Uber frequently when you are married, he will coerce you for it Now you know that I've been w a lot of men. 41F divorced. Probably 20+ sexual partners. There are those who coerce and there are those who won't. I will never again be with someone who coerces or makes me feel bad or tries to make me feel guilty if I don't want it right now. This is a MAJOR issue that is deep in his personality. You know that, right?
But don't you guys tell each other that toy love each other every day. At least you said he does in a previous comment. So why haven't you had sex yet?
Run.
Fast.
Never look back.
Ffs what the hell is national flower day…
As you said , she’s not your gf, she didn’t get you anything, so no, do not get her flowers.
I know this is so shitty but I see a lot of opportunity for mental growth here. First, you were in hardcore denial for a long time. You shouldn’t have to beg your girlfriend to spend time with you. You said she spent more time with her friends than she did with you in the last two years.
It sounds like you knew deep down things weren’t the same, but instead of making the tough decision to stand up for yourself by acknowledging you don’t deserve to be treated like an afterthought, you just clung harder to the relationship.
What you’re grieving is the fantasy life & relationship you imagined. You didn’t have that. In reality your gf barely gave you the time of day, partied constantly, and always put you last. Ask yourself how happy you really were sitting at home all those nights while she was out partying. How happy were you really all those hours you spent anxiously waiting to hear back from her, wondering when you’d see her again, hoping she wouldn’t cancel this time…
I think the reason this is hurting you so much is because you knew it was happening for awhile now, you just didn’t want to believe it, so you mentally clung harder to that fantasy girlfriend who “supported you through everything” and was going to magically change and turn into this perfect girlfriend & wife.
This is going to hurt for awhile. You need to rally your support group of friends & family. Keep yourself busy and distracted. Throw yourself into some new hobbies. Volunteer. Make new friends. Don’t drink too much.
After a period of time (usually between 3-6 months) you will start being able to see the relationship for what it really was — one sided. And you can learn from this so in your next relationship (which you will have), you don’t fall into the same trap.
She didn’t do anything wrong. Almost no one stays with the person they started dating as teenagers. People change. And it’s healthier to breakup than to cling to the illusion of a teenage fantasy.
That's not the point, though. He thinks that me not wanting to return the book is a sign that there's more than friendship between us.
My question is whether it is. For me, it is a normal thing not to want to return the book. He thinks it's weird and abnormal. He says he has friends (he doesn't really, but still), and he's never wanted some “security” like that.
If you’d like to know the answer to your questions, you’ll have to talk to him.
If he’s the primary caregiver nights and weekends then the guy barely has a moment to himself. It doesn’t surprise me that he doesn’t text all day.
It’s a great show, thanks! I did reread it and you’re right. No ultimatum just an expression of uncomfortableness
I'm confused. Are you trying to find ways to put up with someone treating you like that, or are you trying to escape with your dignity?
Honestly, he sounds full of it. He probably has the hots for your wife and is trying to break up the marriage . I would trust your wife if you haven't had any concerns before this, if yall have had a good marriage, and if her story is consistent. And why would you even entertain this guy by meeting with him.
Couple things here 1. She ruined her own knee by not getting proper medical care right away. If she did not finish PT then that is literally her fault. 2. As a grown ass woman you do not need a man to tell you there is a possibility of getting hurt while skating, it’s almost implied even when learning. 3. If she was worried about getting hurt she should have properly prepared by getting elbow and knee pads.
Dude, she is gone. That relationship is over.
If you need to “start something” by going to her house to get your stuff back, do it. There is no relationship left to salvage, do what you need to do.
If she sold your iPad, file a report with the police for theft. If she still has it but refused to return it, Sue her in small claims court.
For both participants sakes.