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Model from: us
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1997-03-01
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityEbony
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
Some people are more into things they can’t have like some random live! person then you who he basically can have whenever .
Oh lord, that’s called “learned helplessness” and he’s half assing it so that you take over and he doesn’t have to.
Honestly, this man is useless. Forget his money, keep the house and throw away the man.
Nobody has time for that shit, he’s a grown baby and if you two decide to have kids you’ll just have an extra kid who can’t care for his own because everyone around him enables his helplessness. No amount of financial stability is going to help you when you’re drowning in chores, and resentment will only grow. This type of relationship does not stand a chance in hell.
IF you want to be a maid forever, then offer him an all or nothing deal- he can pay for EVERYTHING and you can cook and clean EVERYTHING- that’s the only way that could be even close to equal. What you’re agreeing to right now is to being taken advantage of.
But be warned- if you plan to have kids, this type of relationship is an absolute terrible example for them to learn from and will make sons useless and daughters think they are only there to care for useless partners.
My god you need to tell him and talk with him because you can develop calamydia on your own not from him cheating.
He never gave me a reason. He just said he didn't want to. I did ask why and his reply was 'I just don't want to' His parents met at 16 and are still married know. So no divorce history
Sounds like you two are growing older with different interests now. Can't force someone to do anything they dont want to like getting them out of a rut. Depression is very hot to manage alone but it is done. I wouldn't call this friendship over, or give it the towel. Let this person come to you or you just lay low. Sorry you're going thru thus. Friendship can be a difficult task. Good luck!
Probably one of the worst comments I’ve read on this sub.
You asked your partner for too much, which is why I think he had some kind panic attack. You are making him drastically change his lifestyle for you.
When you look for a partner, you need to find someone that is compatible with your lifestyle, so when you ask for something, it is only a slight adjustment to their lifestyle.
Your partner is supposed to help you keep your shit together. If your partner's lifestyle does not align with your lifestyle, its time to find someone else. My opinons anyways I dont know your life
They did not exactly elaborate that for me, but I am someone who handles things on her own. When I know something’s unfair or wrong, I stand up to it but not in a way where I stir things up and make a mess. I rarely ask for help unless I’m caught in the edge. I think I am also an overachiever, career-wise.
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He's got a family. Bet. Op is secret side chick.
Honestly? That sounds like a real case for couples counselling, then. I absolutely get what he means with not having the patience anymore – when I still lived at home, I absolutely used up the patience of my family with my compulsions. But at the same time, you have an illness. A mental illness is not much different from a physical illness, in that you require some additional care. If you wouldn't go to therapy now, I would say that he is in the right – after all, it's your responsibility to manage your illness, not his – but since you are working on it, he needs some patience. He married you, after all.
Honestly, I think you just need to be patient in general. And yeah, believe me, I also know soooo well how you feel regarding uncertainties. I could flip out every time I need to make an appointment or whatever to get something fixed or cleared up and the other person then doesn't respond immediately and I check my mails every two minutes and am just pacing around because I just want to know what's up. It sucks and I don't wanna be like that. But sometimes, it's about accepting that the other person doesn't owe me anything and that often, things just need time to work out. That all promises and assurances are, in the end, empty because there can always be some mess or emergency happening which throws everything planned away.
If this was now the first time this happened, then I 100% assure you that this is just your OCD speaking. If something becomes a pattern, then it's an issue. But an exception from a rule – something happening for the first time, for good reason – is just that: An exception. The rule is still in place.
And yes, I know that this won't stop the anxiety you feel, just like me logically knowing that the door is locked after the first time won't stop me from unlocking and re-locking it 50 more times. That's what OCD is, sadly. Stupid, wrongly routed brain.
Casanova over here seducing his grandma next
SMH. You are being intentionally clueless. Cheap trick to reframe the discussion. You are a disingenuous individual, and you know it. Pointless.
Both of you can carry condoms. You just didn’t care
Thank you
What kind of life would this child have, just being brought into the world to satisfy your husband. What damage to your body is being wrought? Is he married to you, OP, or is your only real value to him your womb?
These are questions you need to unpack in counseling. Go on your own, without him. You need support, this is awful, I am so sorry you are going through this. I would be seriously rethinking this relationship, but go to counseling and think it over there, with support. Your husband is not on your team.
This sucks. I do feel for her, some people are hard wired to try to get out of situations in the “nicest” way possible, which I suppose can lead them into situations they don't want to be in.
But that doesn't excuse her giving in, going along. She should have excused herself from the situation very early on if she had been feeling pressure. “I have to go to the bathroom” and then just go to her room. That works even if she's not comfortable shutting someone down directly.
She didn't do either of that. Even if you go along fully with her saying she was pressured into sex, and she didn't FULLY choose to have sex, would you want to be with someone like that? Who basically will have sex with anyone who is a bit persistent? “Well, he asked me to have sex, and I said no, but then he just kept asking, and what was I supposed to do after he asked FIVE times? Say no? I HAD to give in at that point due to the pressure.”
Also, there's a lesson for anyone in here. Ghosting is excellent! If you're in a situation that you don't know how to get out of, it's ALWAYS ok to just ghost/flake/disappear. Someone pressuring you to do something? Bathroom break, then you're gone! Any excuse to walk away for just a moment is fine, then sneak away. It's YOUR life, do what YOU need to do to get out of a situation. Especially easy in a situation with drinking too. Any questions later about what happened, you can easily brush it off with “oh, sorry, I really wasn't feeling well and had to lie down” explains any disappearance from an event like that.
Yikes! I would tell her, your idea of creating a profile will prob work if she accepts your friend request.
Side note: Funny story dude I met on dating website and ended up becoming friends with for years. I finally find a Facebook message that was like 7 years old, it wasn’t in my normal inbox because she wasn’t my friend so I didn’t even know it existed. It was from his wife at the time, letting me know he was married. I responded to her (7 years later after they were divorced and he was remarried) that I had just got her message. Lol
I have been a non touchy person since the beginning though or maybe your right but he’s my safe space and I feel so attached to him and like I said there is always a voice telling me im going to regret breaking up with him for the rest of my life and im never going to find a better person ?
A lot of men get offended at the size of a vibrator, especially if it’s bigger than them. Try getting a bullet style vibrator? It won’t leave him feeling replaced. I will say though this is also an age thing, men and women (usually) get over these types of jealousy’s as they get older. It’s like women hating their partner watching porn. It’s all an irrational form of thought stemming from their own insecurities of not feeling good enough
Thank you that is wise advice, I’m aware I have a tendency to date older men
The husband is a walking red flag, unless he actually has proof and very much believes OP cheated (in which case he is still a red flag coz he would rather throw it in the middle of an argument rather than talking about it the moment he found out about it).
Any sane/wise/reasonable/ human being would run as fast away from this guy as they can.
Because I like the sex and I like what we do.
If you're getting drug tested for workers comp either way, your fucked. It's going to be in your system for a month lol
What's your view?
That you're a troll.
Is this the same BF who raped you?! Like why the fuck do you want any of these people in your life
You are ignoring a big red flag. That never works out well.
We’re together for almost a year.. I know he had asthma cuz of his puffer but not severe allergies like this probably because we were in a different setting near the forest/ beach.
I'm not saying to spend 30k all on a vacation or future wedding, I'm saying it's something we've been saving for and he just blows it within 2 weeks. So you tell me why should I continue on putting money aside for the both of us when he just uses his on a ridiculous spending habit?
What's considered cheating can vary from person to person. No matter what, he lied to you and called you viscous names. Breaking up with him was the right call as he clearly doesn't respect you.
Going forward, make sure that you clearly express your boundaries with any future partners. Let them know that you consider this sort of behavior cheating and you will not tolerate it, there will be no second chances.
Trying to figure out why anybody bothers getting involved in a relationship anymore seems like everyone cheats anyways
Hi Nightie_Whitie,
Thank you very much for sharing your perspective with me.
It's very much helpful to hear about how you and your wife handled cultural differences in the relationship. I can relate to your relationship.
I came from a culture that believed in ghosts. I live! with my aunt who believed in ghosts and practiced certain rituals. I tried to accept her belief and practice and knowing it is something about her I can not change.
I just had a long day of conversing with my boyfriend over the phone call.
Both my boyfriend and my family like to make fun of each other's appearance.
I feel offended by it and do not feel loved and accepted by them when they make fun of my appearance.
On the other hand, my boyfriend thinks that joking and making fun is how his family and he prepare each other for harassment from people that may want to hurt us. In his words, his family is able to joke and point out their flaws about each other because they accept those flaws.
He then did the same thing to me, he made fun of my forehead and my boob size. I became really self-aware and insecure.
In my eye, real family love is all about sharing love, saying kind words, and showing acceptance to one another without the need of making fun of each other's appearance.
After we talked, he agreed that he would not make fun of my look. But he still thinks there's nothing wrong with joking about appearance in the family.
His words hurt me. And he told me I should not blame him for those words, he meant nothing harmful.
I start to think that I do not want a partner like this. I feel lost. Because I do not want my future kids to go through my childhood trauma of being criticized about my look and body type.
What should I do? Is this a red flag?
Thanks so much.
You call yourself emotional but reality is even though I am sure he believes he is above that his responses are equally emotive, just in the opposite direction. He so easily and immediately gets upset.
I personally roll my eyes anytime someone likes to pretend we aren't emotional or that the most pragmatic/rational approach to interaction wouldn't incorporate that reality into it. Instead he wants you to pretend you're emotionless because he can't deal with them? Where's the logic in that. Or is he pretending him getting so upset is the logical way to handle all this. It's absurd.
Add to that the lack of intimacy and it's just a pattern of emotional distance and the use of aggression to reinforce it. You can't communicate with him at all because when you do he just gets upset and rationalises it as some big brain move. Thing is, this is clearly not the life you want to live! and you can only humour him 'working on it' for so long.
Right? Obviously a troll post.
Move on. He sounds like someone that doesn't deserve blowjobs. You did something nice, that he enjoyed, and he looks down on you for it.
Here's a terrible comparison but hear me out. It's 7PM and you're starving. You just went shopping and could defrost meat,.cut up veggies and make a meal. OR, you have leftovers in the fridge that just needs 30 seconds in the microwave. The leftovers are a food you really like and you don't even have to season them because it's already done. It's way easier to grab the leftovers than choose, cook, and clean up.
I always loll when guys date a 21 year old girl, then complain about her acting like a 21 year old girl
Accept the fact that this guy is like catnip for her and she can't quit him.
If she's not already cheated she's planning on doing it. Litterslly meeting the dude to plan it.
Throw her out.
No i don't think it was makeup…because she never mentioned anything about it. Idk i just felt bad getting to know…so i thought maybe I'll just lay it out
This.
Those things happened, they're part of her life, don't expect her to delete them.
Also – 4 days! Not everyone immediately thinks 'must edit social media' after a breakup. It's way down the priority list.
I’m a dad that’s a little older than this guy and my kids are around OP’s age.
OP, go with this strategy of embarrassing the shit out of this creep AND more importantly YOUR MOM. Wtf? What she said is worse, because she’s supposed to protect you from scummy men like this.
Fucking gross. tell your mom MOST men don’t make jokes like this because it’s gross, quadrupley gross when it’s an 18 year old they’ve knows since they were kids, but gross enough without. If any adult i know spoke to either of my kids that way we’d be having words.
That’s enabling, big-time. No good can come of that.
Lol join the crew ???
Re-Diagnosed cancer can often affect the family worse, so he is possibly dealing with a lot. And unfortunately some people need to process thing like this alone, and having people around them who are well meaning, and supportive actually causes them mental stress.
I’d say that given what you know about his family situation and work, it’s not a red flag, maybe a yellow, slightly orange flag.
Give it a few more days, then if you haven’t heard from him, then ask him to talk.
And remember that even if it’s not a red flag, if you are not feeling good about the relationship, you can end it for any reason.
my advice to you is to use punctuation..otherwise it gets confusing.
This was a stupid teenage lie because she wanted to be seen as older and more mature than she actually is. Make sure she's actually 18, and re-evaluate if you want to date someone in a different stage of life from you.
This doesn't necessarily mean she's evil or that she lies about everything, but it does mean she has some growing up to do.