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You should have done the same honestly. If your relationship isn’t stable and you’ve almost broken up several times, now is absolutely not the time to start getting your children more involved. You need to reevaluate your priorities.
disagreed on was friends of the opposite sex. He thought it was fine and I did not. He wanted to have sex and I was waiting for marriage.
ew. poor guy.
And he replied “Lol? I don’t care fuck off”
Shitty thing for him to say though.
Yeah… I’m stupid
Exactly
Well, I mean like if you're happy you're happy. You're the only one who can tell. If you're unhappy, you can tell. These questions aren't for redditors to answer ngl. Considering, we're not you. Just random people on the internet.
You are an alcoholic. Please reach out for help❤️
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She must have unicorn friends, because if you browse the parenting forums, it's full of parents asking why aren't our parents as involved with our kids as our grandparents were involved with us?
It's weird that she assumed, but it also shows what an amazing mom you are. You've always been the caretaker and the person who holds it down for her, so why wouldn't you help her hold it down now?
If you have no interest in being that type of grandparent, you just need to have that conversation with her. Tell her what you're willing to help out with and what your boundaries are. She just made an assumption based on who she knows you to be because you've never built a relationship with her that isn't mom, the caregiver. This could also be a good opportunity to build an adult relationship with you as a person.
OP says her dad is gay because she saw him having sex with her boyfriend. That doesn't mean he's not bi.
100% agree. Use an independent lab. An attorney specializing in family lae or physician could direct you to the appropriate person.
No because annulment means your marriage never existed. Ever. Making our children illegitimate.
You are overthinking it. If you did nothing wrong, there is no need to feel guilty. Just go on with your life. There is no need to unnecessarily complicate things.
Consider that you are now a mom and your kid is going to see this stuff as they get older (and possibly think it’s normal which will lead to other issues). Your husband is being obtuse and immature. Put up some boundaries and be ready to take action if needed- a lot of abusive people are allowed to get away with this kind of stuff. Don’t let him.
We never defined the boundaries of the break, ie if we could see other people. When I asked for even simple boundaries (like how often we would talk so I wasn’t waiting around for his replies like a sad puppy) he would get angry. I guess it would be his forgiveness that I’d be looking for? And I have already curbed the drinking.
His behavior shows you that he is not on the same page as you and he is treating you as an option. Situationships aren't real. Mixed signals aren't real. You're confused and feel inclined to “act crazy” because he's activating your nervous system and sending your anxiety into hyperdrive. In other words, he is not right for you but you keep hoping that he is, and so you're hanging onto every word and action he does, including stalking who he's following.
A guy who is certain about dating you seriously will increasingly and consistently make you a priority. He won't risk losing you by making you feel like an option. He won't follow other women, knowing you might see it and think he's uninterested in you. He won't make you wonder where you two stand because he will make it clear how he feels about you. This clown ain't it. Stop giving power to “situationships” and instead, date other guys who are on the same page as you.
So what, you’re just a baby oven here? It sounds like he doesn’t care at all about you except as an incubator for his progeny.
This disgusts me. I’ve been through IVF, and it’s hot. It’s YOUR body and you can do what YOU want with it. The fact that the problem is his is probably making him feel some kind of way, but he needs to discuss that, not try and guilt trip you into doing something that terrifies you.
My DMs are open if you’d like to talk about the IVF process by the way.
Exactly. It can be helpful but 12 steppers are all laymen. I found recovery in medicine. Strong recovery. I used medication assisted treatment to quit Xanax and alcohol at different points in my life. Addiction fellowship trained physician and psychiatrist and therapist is where people should go. I realize not everyone has the money or insurance (I'm in the US) so 12 steps do have their place…. but for serious recovery you need to find out what is medically and psychologically wrong w yourself to go down such a crazy path.
Google is free. If she can get knocked up I sure as hell hope she knows how to type “local child therapists” into Google's search bar lol
Nothing wrong with going to therapy, btw. You should probably try it, yourself. Not sure why you think that's a “gotcha”
Here is my take reading your post: it sounds like you are already looking for the exit but you want to know that he is ok. And that you're a caring person (you don't want to be an AH) but he is not getting better, actually worse.
You say that you are ok and that you can take care of yourself – and I have no doubt about that. That might be what attracted him to you. Your confidence and stability must have been very attractive to someone like him. But that's not enough.
You feel like you really have no idea who he really is as a person. Whatever he is doing right now is not enough therapy. He may have some serious undiagonosed mental issues beyond the past trauma in his life. It may be beyond what you can reasonably deal with.
You already walk on eggshells a bit around him. You are starting to become the target of blame. You don't know where this is leading, and this is very unsettling. I'm sure that you are generally used to being able to handle stuff, so you probably have a mindset that, “ok, he has some deficiencies but I can work with it.” Spend some time thinking about where you need to draw that line, though.
The thing that I worry about and probably worries you is that you really don't know what he thinks and when his thinking will just change 180. He could just change his mind about you one day. There could also be huge parts of him that he keeps hidden because he is worried that it will not be accepted. And it may be with good reason.
Him believing or saying that you said things that you didn't say is gaslighting 101. It messes with your reality and that is a bad thing to have messed with. Don't lose yourself and take care of yourself, OP!
Should've never gotten married obviously so, yeah