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Birth Date: 2001-12-12
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So 30 years from now your newly adult kid brings home a partner. This partner just blurts out that they like to fuck your kid in the ass. You'd think that's cute?
I’m sorry for your loss.
Reading your OP and follow up comments, I have to wonder a bit if you don’t kind of hint around about things and then get upset when he doesn’t pick up on it vs directly asking for what you want.
In the example of your grandmother, when he was visiting, did you specifically say “I would really like you at the wake. I need your support.” ?
Many younger people have not experienced much death and are either uncomfortable with the whole thing or simply don’t know what is expected.
I don’t know about his work, but at mine, we only get one day of bereavement leave for our own immediate family. So if I were in his shoes and came to you, I could work from home and be there to be supportive but I couldn’t take the time off without penalty. But I would know that I should be at the wake and funeral and would make it work. I would not need to be asked. But I’m also 44 and have buried all of my grandparents and many friends and my partner has had similar losses.
I don’t think I’d make any big decisions right now while you’re grieving and stressed but I think it’s worthwhile to examine your relationship and evaluate the bigger picture to see if this is the right person once things settle down.
Yes 100% I’ve been telling her if we get a house this is not okay and the very hot water bill will be insanely high. She says “what mold, do you see any mold” she doesn’t get it. Even when I said there’s no window or fan and it’s going to happen.