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I'm not sure it's really a red flag, but you have to wonder why she'd say this kind of thing out loud. It doesn't really serve any purpose other than sowing doubt in the partner's mind (which is exactly what it's done).
Very hypocritical of him to be like this, hun if I were you I would kick him to the curb! You do not need to waste your time with someone like him who makes you feel like garbage when all you've done is date another person before him. Thats just absolutely ridiculous IMO
You forgot the part where you ask for advice about a relationship.
Please stop trying to shill your videos, this is not the place for that.
You wouldn’t be overthinking or emotional if you were with someone who made you feel secure in the relationship. Take this as a learning experience that sometimes even if you feel like you have great chemistry and really like them, you won’t work in a relationship together. I think it’s amazing to have standards, and he isn’t meeting those standards! Good bye to him
“and why does you having a dick make any difference?”
My relationship never went to that extent but I definitely empathize with you. It’s comfortability, not wanting to have a drastic change in life, being contempt, being absolutely blindsided by love, developing a trauma bond, developing unhealthy coping and communication mechanisms.
It’s extremely hot to let go of a relationship. Nevertheless one that is not healthy. I highly highly reccomend you do some deeper soul searching to ensure you can still have a happy life. It will be one of the hardest things to do, but really have an objective perspective on things. Imagine this was your best friend instead of yourself, what would you tell them to do?
Only you can decide if this can be something continued (given that it takes two to tango) or just let go.
Issue is this.
It was just a kiss. The fact that you think that takes any validation of his feelings away. Not only that it makes him wonder what happens when he is not around and what your boundaries really look like. It’s much deeper than a kiss as it sends signals and flags everywhere. If you want it get better, you need to stop apologizing and start validating.
We have fun and we can talk for hours and after 8 years together I still love him like the first day so I know I want to stay with him. I would probably even take the house-wife script but I really love working and have a purpose outside as well
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So I had her sit on it and think about what kind of dog how old etc.
Obviously you didn't, because…
She didn't think about the breed at all, like how energetic they are, what their health conditions are, grooming or anything.
And clearly neither did you, because…
We went and found the cutest little puppy who was on sale and decided to buy him.”
To me it sounds like you are the more experienced dog owner in this relationship. You should know that breeds matter and raising any puppy takes a tremendous amount of effort for the first two years. You're not even at home to help. It's not fair to anyone, especially the puppy. Please re-home this puppy while it is still young enough to be properly trained.
I know you were just trying to do something nice for your wife. I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you had hoped. But you're acting like you are the hero and your wife fucked up for not knowing what she was getting into. You are both equally to blame here. You both need to cooperate to find this puppy a good home.
If I were in your position, I would apologize to your wife for the difficult puppy situation that you helped to create. Tell her that no one should feel bad, but it was just poor planning, poor timing, and poor judgement on both of you. Help her to responsibly re-home the puppy. Tell her that you maybe will try again with a puppy one day when you are in a more appropriate living arrangement and you are able to help with the day-to day care.
This lady sounds like someone I used to work with. Played the victim always “cried” over everything. Yuck I hated her
Yeah but her BFF didn't GO TO HER about it.
Apologize for the lie and build the trust back
Manipulation at its finest. Leave her, get a good lawyer so she doesn’t fuck you financially
I was in your situation. There is too 1 sided in your relationship. Sit her down and let her know whag you feel. And if she keep ignoring it. Drop her and find someone else deserve your efford and attention and that girl replicate the same to you
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My fiancé and I met about 3 years ago. He proposed a year ago. Thats when we moved in together. Everything has been wonderful with our relationship. He is kind and gentle and very caring and amazing. Before me he was married and their marriage ended 5 years ago. He never speaks about his ex wife but they’re civil and seem to be on good terms. They have a daughter together who is almost six and lives with us on alternate weeks. The co parenting is going well. As I said my fiancé never speaks about his ex wife. He never mentions her. I was curious in the beginning and asked his several times to know more about his marriage and previous life but all he ever said is that they were incompatible. I’m not as curious anymore.
Only problem I have is that my fiancé left her his big beautiful 4 bedroom apartment in the city that he inherited from his father even if they had prenup. We live in a much smaller 2 bedroom apartment that isn’t in the city. Since we have my step daughter 1/2 the time I felt it was odd that he just doesn’t take his apartment back. Also he left her his Porsche that she never uses since she lives in the center of everything. The car is also his. I never really talked about it before because I was just the gf
When my fiancé proposed I started planning and thinking about our future and I feel that now I have more to say about our finances. I started talking about us maybe taking his apartment back. We are 3 now and we are planning more children. She is single and she has a good job. I don’t think she is my husband’s responsibility anymore (we don’t have CS or alimony system here, a progressive European country). Whenever I brought up the subject he changed it. He said we were doing fine or that we would manage or move to a bigger apartment once we have more children. It frustrated me greatly but he was evading the subject. Even if we moved, it would never be to an apartment like the one his ex lives in, rentfree. I tried to understand why he gave her everything but no one had any answers to me. My soon to be sister in law is as confused and actually upset that he would just give her everything.
So last Friday, I was the one to leave my step daughter to her mother because my fiancé was working late. I asked her if she could give us back the apartment since we are 3 and that I’m about to be his wife. She was a bit flustered so I apologized to her but she said that I didn’t need to apologize and that I was right. She agreed that my question was reasonable.
When I got home I told my fiancé what happened. I felt that he got very angry but he just told me that if I ever brought up this subject again it was over between us. I started crying and asked why but he didn’t elaborate. He just said that if I ever brought up the subject it was over between us. Very cold and calm. He went out and he came home 3 hours later. His ex apparently told him that she was fine with moving out because he told me that if she did move out it was over between us.
I don’t know what to do now. I’m confused. He is the only one who is against this idea and he probably wants me to convince his ex to stay in his apartment. I never meant anything malicious but her living for free in my soon to be husband’s home is just weird. What can I do now with this mess. I don't think my request is that ut of the ordinary. we are a family now and soon on paper too. the ex is successful and she could afford something smaller for her and step daughter. I dont know, please dont be judgmental I really need help.
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i dont know if it is ok to make a comment here:
Ok so a friend of my fiancé (the wife of his best friend) recognized my post and contacted me. My fiancé is (probably) still in love with his ex or has love for her even if it is not romantic. He cheated on her and she chose not to expose him for the sake of their daughter. But this is why he gave her everything. Because she didn't ruin his reputation and now that she wants to move out he is upset because I'm the reason. Thank you K for telling me all this.
I don't know what to do now. Should I confront him with this? I love him very much. He is my whole world.
now I at least know why he doesn't want to talk to me about his past
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For the last decade you have let your son down as a father because of your own selfish actions. That text seems like the final nail in the coffin. Way to go dad, you ruined a prime opportunity to begin to fix what you destroyed
Your sister is saying everything she needs to say with her silence.
I’d say a text is fine. You’ve only known him for two weeks. It sounds like it would be difficult to drag him away from skiing to have a face to face conversation anyway.
Sounds like she just wants you to listen and not suggest anything.
Why is that so difficult for you? If you know she’s not going to listen anyway, just give her what she wants and keep the calls relatively short.
That's plain weird. And worrying.