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I’m afraid if I mention that I saw the Grindr app he’ll start acting way differently because he’s not out… but overall it’s about hooking up with others.
Me too 10 years sooner!!
If you need 100% of his attention it's not going to happen and nor should you expect it. His kid comes first, if he's interested in you he will make time for you. You will need patience, and understanding that he may cancel plans because of his kid. If that's going bro upset you, than that's on you and not him, that's him being ba good dad. Which would also mean he would be a good dad to any other kids he might have. If you don't think you can handle that, do him a favor and move on.
YOU loving and accepting YOURSELF has nothing to do with what he sees on a screen or what he jerked off to. YOU are comparing yourself to and edited screen image. It is taking you a lot longer to beat yourself up than it took for him to jerk off or click LIKE. Stop having relationships until YOU are good with being YOU. Your self worth doesn't depend on anyone but YOU.
I'm not anti vax, but do have to point out a flaw in your logic.
Vaccines don't exist because there's no natural immunity to something. They exist because for many illnesses, the damage you get from having them is enough that it's better to get vaccinated instead.
Polio, for instance – many people survived, with no serious health effects. And many children died, or had lifelong effects such as partial paralysis, lung effects, etc. While the people who did survive without issues were protected from it, the potential damage from getting it made the vaccine by far the better choice. Same with a lot of others.
You should talk to her and let her know EXACTLY how you have been feeling. Explain how it’s starting to feel like more work to keep the relationship going than not. If she doesn’t start to respect these feelings, it may be time to Perhaps try a break. Absence makes the heart grow stronger.
College years are still a time to grow and develop and find oneself. Sometimes it gets nude to do such if you’re spending every day with someone else. It may time to move on.
If he were actually smart he would know that, thats not the the case
Regardless of the low personal blow you got on him, his behavior is that of a teenager. If his default position is being hidden in his room gaming, he is not an adult and he is not a serious husband. He needs to decide if he wants to join you in a real marriage or become single and game all day with no one else around in his life.
Funny? I'm surprised so many people think same as you ?
Agree to a paternity test and request a lie detector test to make sure he hasn't cheated. Man sounds suspect as fuck, and his 180 to try and procreate again is weird. Why would he want to be intimate with you if he believes you've not only cheated on him, but made a baby with someone else? Makes no sense. Follow steps 1&2 and then leave his ass regardless of the outcome of said lie detector test.
Girl. You're in an abusive relationship.
It can go as far as attempted murder where I am.
He doesn't use socials THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT. He has a different name. He is “still technically married”. You can't go to his house. He blocks you. He tells you stories that you have to convince yourself to believe. why are you relying on strangers to tell you if he's legit or not? Ask your gut.
Furthermore, the sex is only that good BECAUSE you are the other woman. If the two of you were legit, he wouldn't be half so interested.
Yeah, this would be an “everyone sucks here” situation. No one is innocent, and they're all actively making things worse.
This is a tricky one, as this was an old phone but also still technically his private stuff.
Given that there are nudes of his ex, I'd say that is a bit more concerning than if it were just randoms girls.
If he hasn't used the phone in a long time, then they may just be leftovers that he hasn't seen in a long time. If he still uses the phone on the regular, then it is a more pressing concern.
If you're okay with him potentially jacking to his ex, then you don't have to say anything. But if it bothers you, then I'd suggest confronting him about it.
Sorry mate, sounds like you have it rough
You say you don't want breakup advice but honestly, he won't compromise, he's not understanding and generally pet people and non pet people don't work because one person understands the joy a pet brings and one person sees nothing but a hassle.
Is he even aware that she is having a procedure done. It sounds like she hasn’t spoken to him about it so he has no idea. There isn’t enough communication in this relationship.
Why are you even putting yourself in this mess?
Seriously though, what kind of behavior were you expecting from a dude who already had a girlfriend when he started dating you? Because this is exactly the kind of behavior you get when you date guys who already have girlfriends.
You mention in a comment things like closure and accountability. The truth is, an admission does neither. It doesn’t provide closure, because there’s always going to be another question. Closure doesn’t come from him. It comes from you making a decision to close the door on this toxicity.
Similarly, accountability is very different from an admission. And I’ve got to tell you, if you can’t even get a simple admission, there’s no way in hell you’re getting accountability from him. But he’s not the only one who needs to practice the concept. You need to hold yourself accountable for the decisions you are making. For the hurt you are forcing yourself to absorb. For the neglect you’re allowing by staying with someone who is treating you this way. I don’t mean to be harsh, but if you aren’t being accountable to yourself, why would he be accountable to you?
You need to honor the person you hope to be a year from now, and make changes that bring that reality about.
Honey, I told you to stop stalking my Tumblr and Drarry discord.
Gray Rock her next time. And don’t avoid her. Walk right up and say “can I help you find anything today, ma’am?”
Any time she tries to shift the conversation to something personal don’t reply, and shift the conversation back to the business or products of the shop you work at.
Don’t not give her the satisfaction of a meaningful or memorable encounter. Be the Gray Rock.
my pleasure. it's good that you have a plan in place. good luck!
Sorry, but your husband will likely never want kids. Therefore staying in this marriage will mean no kids. It sounds like you want the opposite, so Step 1 is leaving this marriage as it no longer works for you.
Step 2 is extensive legal advice. If you do have these embryos implanted, what are the ramifications ? Consider if you really want to be tied to this individual for 18 plus years. Consider what your children will ask about their missing father and how you would navigate these conversations. Consider how you will parent with your (ex)husband and the involvement of them and their family in your children’s life.
Step 3 is consider alternatives. Do you want kids, or someone to have kids with ? If A), then can you get a donor ? If B), then can you find and date someone who also wants kids right now ?
Step 4 is making a decision. And there’s no right or wrong, only what you’re prepared to live! with.
Personally, I have a massive internal conflict here. I would view those embryos as beings that came about because my husband desired to have them with me, and just because he now decides he doesn’t, he can’t just back out of their conception – much like he wouldn’t be able to just “nope” his kids if they had already been born. I think your husband is an asshole that strung you along, but you need to understand if you do have his kids, there will be consequences.
I wish you well. It’s a tough place to be.