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No dude. Going on the trip is not equivalent to fucking your grandma.
Boom! I feel like this is your answer.
How can I get over this?
Being mature? You sound like a teenager not a 26y woman.
Yeah, back off! I've had cancer & one of the worst things I had to deals with is other people telling me how to feel, behave, keep in touch, etc. This is her disease & she is not obligated to do anything to make you feel better about any of it. Let her know, once, that you'd like to be there for her more but respect her boundaries and will be there if she needs it. Otherwise, as said in the beginning, back off.
Yeah, I'm 42, don't have kids and I still wouldn't mess with anyone under 30. It sounds like he's love bombing you, which is a manipulation tactic. Groomed is just another word for manipulation, so in a sense he is grooming you. “I can tell you want it” is fucking disgusting when someone has already said no. At 41 he knows how to control himself and should understand what no means. He obviously understands the insecurities of young women and has no problem using it against you. I hope you'll listen to everyone here and cut this guy off. But understand that you didn't do anything wrong, and what wrong with this is all him and not you.
To be honest it’s sounds like YOU’RE the business owner not HER
Better step in now before she winds up pregnant.
Then change your attitude towards women and dating habits from now. It is misogynistic and often emotionally abusive.
You absolutely are self pitying. Yes you describe all the ways you are horrible ect. but that goes hand in hand with self pity.
And if you so desperately want him to leave you, leave him instead. Everything else is shitty and immature
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No I know he won’t do that , he knows better
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Do not propose on the same trip her sister is getting proposed to!!!!
This will steal the spotlight from her sister and is a shitty thing to do and will cause a fight and resentment. You do not want that back story with your in-laws. It will never be let go.
If one of my parents cheated on the other….I wouldn't have to be given an ultimatum. I'd cut out the person that betrayed the family. No brianer.
Rape isn't just a minor character flaw. Do you have self esteem issues?
divorce him because of his mental illness? you do realize clinical obsession/ limerence is not under the control of the person experiencing it right? would you also recommend divorce for depression because it is just 'choosing to be sad'?
r/unexpected
Where's reddit's age gap police when you need them?
This is why Im considering leaving everything to my kids when I die and not to my husband. Except his issue is that he is too sweet. He would definitely give our kids everything equally, but if he got remarried I think he would divide all the money I earned with his new wife and children. Which I don’t want. That goes to my kids. He can do whatever he wants with his money.
Don't worry about it. A lot of people on reddit think they know what's best for a stranger's life who they've never met.
As long there's respect and kindness on both sides, 2 consenting adults can have a relationship.
Posted already hun
Well, that's good to hear about his feelings regarding mental health and what he's doing to keep himself well. I wonder if he couldn't get a special appointment to see his pysch. This is why we need universal healthcare! 🙂
So, you are more willing/able to work through stuff and see the other perspective, recognise when you are at fault (I hope you're not at fault too often!). That's great. Do you get the sense your bf is able to do the same? Does he have difficulty apologising when he's wrong?
You are absolutely right – you should not be the sole “power-lifter” in this relationship and he has to actively participate, mental problems or not. There has to be some sort of progress that you can feel. I'm sorry he hasn't seemed to have done that. Has he been extra anxious in his daily interactions since you agreed to the letter-writing? Does he seem more interested in avoiding any sort of relationship talk or any situations that could have potential conflict?
I really do hope I've helped. That you have another perspective and more ideas to bounce off of and work out things with your bf. Sometimes, we do just need someone on the outside. We, outsiders, may not really know what's going on, but our emotional distance does give us a slight advantage in logic. Not always, but sometimes. 🙂 Much love to you, girl! You can do this!
We aren’t in a relationship
You’re still not taking responsibility for your actions. Cut the macho shit and listen.
You hitting your gf is a side effect of the fact that you resolve conflict with your hands. You have lots of excuses for why, all of which are outside yourself. It’s one brothers fault or another, and if people didn’t make you so angry it wouldn’t happen… blah blah
Again, your gf getting slapped is the least of your issues.
Good advice. I don't think she's faced abuse in past relationships, just a very busy household she grew up in with many people. Thank you
Sounds like undiagnosed bipolar maybe..?
What are you scared of mate? Let her read your comments here about how you have the best interests of her and your relationship at heart. I tend to agree that infidelity may not always be the worst thing that can happen to a marriage, and that happy spouses come in all sorts of ways. But long story short, you’re lying by omission and she will likely feel humiliated. You can’t avoid that.
Jesus Op I’m sorry to hear about the tumour. You must be scared shitless, I hope everything goes ok with chemo and medical stuff. I hope your friends and family have been supporting you through that. I’ve had multiple family members get a cancer diagnosis. In terms of your girlfriend I think she didn’t want you watching porn as she would turn it into a screaming match about cheating and other excuses. But she can watch porn instead. She sounds like an attention seeking drama queen. Making excuses to gaslight you. I’d just break up with her and find someone healthier to date and focus on your healing journey. Good luck OP
dude
you're selfish and disgusting.
and entitled
He should see a Doctor about it to get real options and risks, but it's also his body and he gets to decide if those risks are acceptable. You don't have to like his decision, but you should respect it and you then have the option of leaving.
I am 4 inches and this is one of my fears.
What is her relationship with her parents like and what is their relationship with their other children like?
The math ain’t mathing. There’s more to this story. You know it, I know it, we all know it.
Ask him why he thinks it is ok to talk about his Mom like that. I would be interested in hearing his answer.
This stinks. Discussing this before leaving will undoubtedly cause an argument which makes cheating while you’re gone more likely. Maybe you could remind him how much you care for him and appreciate him before you leave.
If it were “I need to kiss a dude with a beard to see if it’s too scratchy” you’d dump her, right? She’s literally telling you her monkey-branching plans in advance (without realizing it, probably). Don’t let her sexual orientation cloud the issue; send the newly-minted young bisexual lady to the streets from whence she came.
Do some introspection and you’ll realize your reaction to this is pretty ridiculous. If you want to have a good relationship, don’t take the advice of the teens/ya on this app and try and figure out how to communicate better.
I think it’s fair to tell her what the problem is, otherwise she will just doubt herself in general instead of improving what really needs to be improved(especially just for herself): hygiene. OP won’t be the only one having a problem with that.
She is a fucking asshole and looks down upon you. Nobody should have a SO like her. She does not appreciate you at all.
Well, sister. For starters, don't pretend. Don't pretend you love someone if it isn't so. Don't pretend you like someting, when this isn't true.
In any relationship, the foundation should consist of self acceptance, truth and honesty. You don't have to like something for someone else you like you. You don't have to force a feeling that isn't there. You can and must be yourself.
It will end up in a heartbreak for you, and your loveinterest, if you build a relationship on something that isn't even there.
Now, with the physical part. Ur not alone out there, sister. But it feels like, what's missing is communication. You already are dishonest about your interest. So I can imagine that you
My first true sexual experience was a living nightmare. I didn't realize it at the time, but my first time was basically Rape. I enjoyed it,but it was rape.
Over the years I tried everything. Long distance, phone, video. Andsoon andsoforth.
I disliked the idea of physical interaction.
Long story short, I ended up in a sexual relationship (FWB) with one of my best friends. This lasted for at least 2 years, and even after we'd still sometimes meet up. He was respectable about my wishes, we took it slow at first. But we did more and more the more we met. Which was lucky considering I actually cut it off after the first time. I had no enjoyment out of the first one again, and seeing him was just awkward. . But we communicated, talked about what went great what went bad. And kept working on it. Reinforced the fact that's it not awkward, but that we didn't want any feelings to develop. And kept communicating, communicating and communicating
No matter how small, if we tought it was important for the friendship, we discussed it.
And that's the best you can do at this stage. If you're interested in someone, be honest, don't fake who you are, and make up a personality. Tell them that you're not sure if it will even happen, or happen again. And communicate, communicate communicate.
As the moment yous top communicating, is the moment you stop progressing.
In the end, We did start to get feelings, and tried if an actual relationship was something for us. But both agreed it wasn't for us. Our friendship is till stronger than ever. We talk almost daily, and i f we want to, we always kept it open to do it again.