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I don’t see what the big problem is. It’s not a requirement for your dad to be best pals with your bf.
He is polite, that is all you need from your father.
Stop trying to force a relationship, you’ll make it worse.
Safest bet. OP admits they are not built for this. Her wanting something else doesn’t change that. Either way this ship is going down. Better to do it with grace now than draw it out.
To recap, no one has been unfaithful, you have a very nonstandard view of cheating, and no one is being sexist when they enjoy platonic affection.
Start with the BLOCK feature on your phone. Set alarms if you want to not completely cut him off- time it so that you have blocks of time you JUST DONT DEAL with him. He’s an enormous bully, but you’re a GROWN @$$ woman,and you don’t actually have to deal with this if you dont want.