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He can feel insecure that’s valid.
But that statement isn’t true. Your value isn’t equal to someone’s ability to fork their life over to you after one night. That is a HIM thing he needs to heal.
Dating is very hot. People have all kinds of motives. I’m not closing my options off because a man showed me attention for a day. Now when he stuck around consistently obviously they ended up together.
But it’s unfair to paint OP as some horrible person who just devalued her man. She was single. He was interested but not with her. She cut off that contact once they began dating more seriously. No one person should nor is required to keep their options closed just off one meeting. Just as well as he wanted her he could’ve also not been interested and yet she was supposed to act like they were exclusive without knowing his feelings/intent?
That is normal and fair for both parties. I’m poly so my views may differ from a lot of the conservative people here.
she said no that she just grabbed her and kissed
sounds plausible.
I mean it you are top 3 out of a hundred that would be not the worst thing to say. If you are top 3 out of 3 that’s unlucky. No but without joking that’s a shorty thing to do. To do it in your head is already a bit shitty but eh, but saying it to your s.o. Is just dumb.
Is she dealing with past SA? That you know of? Couples therapy will help and also therapy for herself.
If that was true you wouldn't have started this topic in the first place.
If you want to keep having sex with him then do it, and if you don't then break it off. But don't worry about what he has to deal with in his home, he made that mess and it's up to him to clean it up.