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Oliver, Justyn, Mateo, 21 y.o.
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Tell him you didn't get married to be a bang maid, and leave.
Yes, this is the part I'm struggling with. I don't think they actually think I don't support Sarah, I think they're trying to keep the peace by deflecting. But it just makes me more upset and frustrated.
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Ohh honey my heart is breaking for you. The stages of Loosing your mom to cancer is devastating to watch as you care of them.. You are going through so much and. morning as your watching them deteriorate .
Also do you have a hospic worker??
If not you need to get one.
You will go through many stages of grief.. And you also need to have someone you can talk to for you
You do not just get over it or flick a switch when you see bf . He thinks his sexual needs are more important then you and your mom
He should be making you meals..comforting you..talking about whats going on..how can he help. And there for you when crying
Advice..get your stuff go stay at moms
Dump him
Make sure you have a job so you have a income too.
He didn't apologize to the phrase itself, but he apologized after seeing me sad all day and stressed after cleaning the house. I don't know if he acknowledges, he just change topics when I talk to him.
The paper towel one, he did made an effort (but my mother, before leaving also asked him to use it, so I think she had more affect on him), about the shoes he did follow after apologizing, but about everything else, I think he's doing it on auto mode? But everytime he cooks he talks about how it's impossible to cook without making a mess
He should be accepting you for what you are now. Past relations and experiences have moulded your present character. And if he finds you very likeable today then he should be thankful for those experiences.
It seems your fiance wants to marry his brother, not you. I'm so sorry.
Firstly I’m so sorry about your wedding. But… These are the brightest of bright red flags and you’ll likely look back on them and wonder why you didn’t see them flying. There do seem to have been a fair few before this huge one too.
I hope after the shock of all this and on the honeymoon/holiday (he cannot stop you from going, please don’t let him) you’ll be able to see that this man will never treat you as a priority and I’m so sorry. He’s so enmeshed with his brother for whatever reason that a whole WEDDING with goodness knows how much planning, money and people arriving is cancelled because of his brother’s fake panic attack (I don’t believe for one second BIL is actually ill, sorry).
If you were my friend I’d support you in leaving this person who will make you feel terrible and you know that every major event of yours will revolve around his brother and his mantrums. Protect your pets and discreetly remove any important info you keep at home whilst you’re away, I don’t like how he’s turned on you especially since all this was caused by him. Take care.
I could maybe buy she didn't intend to have sex and was pressured into it.
Username checks out.
The middle ground is to know and understand all your choices. Move ahead with what works for both you and your own needs.
I wish you great happiness no matter what path you choose
My thoughts.
Why would he “learn” he has you to do it for him
she is an amazing girlfriend and person
Interesting. Still no one mention of your love for your GF.
Yes. It really does have to do with her. She is part of the equation.
You wrote two contradictions:
“Sex life is great” : Isn't “doesn’t like to so some things that I had grown used to”.
“admittedly she is not a “sexual” person”: Isn't “But she would love to have sex 5 times a day” That's a sexual person.
So why have you kept this going for 1.5 years with all these doubts? Is your plan to be forever single? How many would you need to sleep with to get what you may already have?
You don’t have to be friends with her as long as you just try to keep things generally civil.
You know why he didn’t worked over winter break? Because he plans to use your money for his needs! He now doesn't even ask anymore, doesn't he? He EXPECTS that you pay for his rides while he doesn't give a shit how he will pay off the 8k loan… Oh no, “hello gf!”
He uses you. He waste no second thought that you need the money for yourself, how nude you works for it, he doesn't think about consequences… He is selfish. He wants to support his soccer buddies and you should work for it? Haha. Oh, please. Have some self-respect.
You say that he helped you financial as you had no job, but did you threw his money out with both hands? You mostly rethought three times before asking for money. And i bet you already paid him back double.
You should also rethink if a relationship with those different levels of maturity will work out. He doesn't even care that he has 8k debts!
No she could just block all the cheating side of the family on SM so she doesn't ever see photos of OP with his Dad. Then work on having a great relationship with her kids and truly move on from a terrible moment in her life.
OMG run!!!! Then this is just a dominating and controlling thing! He wants to control you. He shows so many red flags and abusive tendencies. Of course your ar ein love… narcissistic abusive people can be absolutely lovely when they want (because they control it till they own you) and then they Show their true selves when you are hooked. The 80% great and 20% completr asshole work always… also if you stay please remember you will end up with no self esteem, self respect, a lot of trauma, isolated without friends or family and probably even physically hurt. RUN!!!!
And still 21 or 22. So still a crime in 17 US States, if you’re in the US. And Federally if he ever crossed state lines with you.
But like I said, you’re too old for him.
You wrote a whole ass post about your nasty predator friend, I don't know what else you expected. You can lash out at me all you want but you're the one who's been friend with a fucking creep for 2 decades
You dealt with it fine. When someone agrees to date they should be bringing the healthiest version of their self and it sounds like he's got major issues. Not your job to fix him at 45
I really hate to say this but, you may just have to wait out this period of your life. Young children are very physically demanding and you both are still adjusting to integrating the role of being a parent into your lives both individually and as spouses. It will get better if you refocus the fundamentals of a marriage, love, communication, mutual desire to make o e another happy. At this point, she may think you only want someone to f***, not that you desire her. Your post definitely sounds that way. This won't turn her on and it definitely won't encourage her to try new things. Women have a nude time “compartmentalizing” but men generally don't. So if a woman is stressed about a toddler going through the terrible twos she can't turn that off and switch on enjoying sex. So, to get her interested in sex, address her other needs. Make sure she has time for friendships and time alone without the baby. Make sure you are doing a fair share of the housework. If she works less than you, to take care of your child, that is not “free time” for her. There is a reason people get paid to care for children, it's a lot of work. Express your love for her in as many non-sexual ways as possible. Make sure you know her “love language”. Touch her and kiss her without any expectation of sex. Tell her she is a good mother, and point out specific things you have noticed. None of this will magically turn into an adventurous lover who wants sex 3 times a week. But it will improve your relationship and make her want to be your lover. And when you get past these super demanding pre-school yearly you will have the foundation to have more frequent sex. Stop watching porn will help you cope.
Don't communicate the vibe that her calling you “dad” embarrasses you; you'll never hear it again.
The way I heard it, seems you've passed a test. Congratulations. Accept your honor with grace.
@OP is the side chick and doesn't even know it.
This is the perfect time in your life to start standing up for who you are. You will be doing yourself a HUGE FAVOR. But you will also be MUCH kinder to those around you. You will stop stringing people along. You will let people know who you are.
Maybe it's due to living half a century and more, but I remained friends with several of my old boyfriends after my late-life second marriage. I don't know what the obsession is with ex's in your generation. It isn't mature to obsess over past loves of your SO. Get over it.
I got into an argument with an older lady that insisted my partner is emotionally stunted or a weirdo for dating me. I wanted to know if that's how people feel about it. I know I shouldn't care and I love him, I never feel like there is a maturity difference between us. we also had similar dating experiences before meeting
Then what you are right now is a placeholder.
If she won't commit now, then the logical conclusion is that you're filling space until a better option becomes available, at which point she'll leave you for the better option.
You're being played, my man.
Up to you whether or not you'll tolerate that.
Yes…Although we've talked about it briefly and she wants us both to teach our respective religions and let the kids choose and I'm more than fine with that. COOL! That works for us but how'd it be for the children? Is this a disaster in the making?
she said he stayed over a couple of times. So he would have gotten them, then…. but think about this.. they live! in the same bldg, on the same floor, right down the hall from each other.
Why did she ask him to stay over and make him sleep on the couch?
This post is suspicious. I gave it the benefit of a doubt, even though it sounded like a Lifetime thriller… then I read that part…
If you have to prove your whereabouts, and that you’re faithful – it’s not a healthy relationship (I only read the title- BTW)