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Model from: de
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Birth Date: 1984-11-08
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It breaks my heart thinking of her. 🙁
It's a manipulation tactic, illness or not. Don't put up with that and leave. As safely as you can.
And when you do, have a sit down with yourself to figure out why you like men old enough to be your father. There's plenty to explore.
First off dont tell anyone about the money and live! your life as usual.
I was also in that thread and specifically discussing those issues so I have done some recent research. Chlamydia can be dormant in a person for years. However, “dormant” chlamydia is still transmissible, and tests will still detect “dormant” chlamydia. The more accurate term is “asymptomatic chlamydia,” since chlamydia with no symptoms can still damage your reproductive systems and will still appear in tests. The chance of a false positive is 0-2.9%, so that is highly unlikely. The transmission rate is 30-50% per encounter. For OP, this means she got the disease between this test and her last one. Assuming she has yearly check ups and considering her fidelity during their two year relationship as well as the accompanying BV and pelvic inflammatory disease, she definitely has chlamydia and it must have come from her boyfriend. He could have had asymptomatic chlamydia, but for him to have contracted it before their relationship and just now be transmitting it to her, even if they had sex less than 10 times, is such an infinitesimally slim possibility that it has to be expressed with scientific notation because of how many zeros you'd need to write. Based on all these factors, I believe there most likely was cheating in both cases. The guy yesterday was probably lucky and his GF had JUST gotten the chlamydia, or it was the less than 3% chance of a false positive, which does happen.
Not dump her immediately advice! Your girlfriend sounds very insecure. There are a lot of reasons for that. Based on my knowledge from basic college psych and my own experience with therapy, this might stem from a fear of abandonment, a history of being cheated on, or a whole list of other things. Most people would say she needs to go to therapy, and solve it on her own. But y’all are a team, so I say solve it together! For sure, part of it is going to be her identifying the problem and reminding herself it is no longer there, and that she is safe.
For example, when I used to feel insecure in my relationship, every time someone hit on my boyfriend I’d get jealous and I had to consciously think “you know he loves you and is satisfied. He doesn’t have to look anywhere else for what he needs. You are safe, he won’t hurt or leave you.” I genuinely had to reprogram my brain to think “yeah she’s flirting but you’re going home with him at the end of the night”
I think a combination of working one on one with a professional, and maybe going to couples counseling to find out where the disconnect is and how you can help her might benefit
I definitely have voiced to him my past traumas and what these trigger me. I have been going to therapy for a while now, but some fight flight or freeze modes are still engraved in my brain. I feel like such an asshole for not saying no. I’ve voiced how my last boyfriend did this exact same scenario, I just thought maybe I wouldn’t have to tell him again
Not every orgasm is an out of body experience. It can depend on so many variables. Sometimes they’re little ones, sometimes they’re big ones. Sometimes they’re a long warm ripple sometimes they’re like a tidal wave.
Stop chasing the big O and enjoy the ride(s)
Not every orgasm is an out of body experience. It can depend on so many variables. Sometimes they’re little ones, sometimes they’re big ones. Sometimes they’re a long warm ripple sometimes they’re like a tidal wave.
Stop chasing the big O and enjoy the ride(s)
Nope never said that. Both have got every right to decline. If she doesn't want to be on top then refuse intercourse , just like he refused.
I don't understand your logic? by staying with him you're literally enabling his behaviour
Not really.. girls need to know that they're special. You don't have to approach that first off you can her later when things are going the way you want them. Smoother over first
It's good he told you this person is a past sex partner, but I can understand feeling concerned that he didn't tell you that up front. To me, it sounds like he wanted to gauge your initial reaction to him getting lunch with another girl before he decided if he should tell you she was a past sex partner.
Ultimately, I don't think there's any issues with an SO grabbing lunch with a past partner. If your BF
Yeah that’s fuckin weird.
she is also not able to save any money because of her salary.
So she contributes nothing and you foot all the bills?
Dude.
This is a common problem in long-term relationships–where to live!? Whatever you choose to live! together, someone will have to make a big sacrifice. It sounds like neither of you wants to be together enough to make that big of a sacrifice. Definitely have the conversation. Keep in mind that she pretty much already told you what she thinks.
Yeah, this is way to soon for porn. He is young and impulsive, he will go down the rabbit hole and the porn he watches will become more and more hardcore. He will develop unrealistic expectations of sex, and could possibly develop unusual kinks at a young age. Right now it is new and exciting and then more he uncovers the more excitement. I would set some serious parental controls on his phone. And replace the behavior with a different behavior…get his mind out of the gutter sort of speak.
My son is a 16 year old and my daughter isn’t far behind. If a man or woman attempted to mess with my kids it is a guarantee that Mama bear is going to fuck them up.
…he was dating a 16 year old at 24? That’s disgusting.
I could also see a pro/con list being useful near the start or potential start of a relationship. We all have certain attributes we would like to see in a partner, but realistically, finding someone who perfectly matches yours and you theirs is pretty much fairytale.
A proper pro/con list at the early stage could help you decide if there is enough there for you to compromise to pursue a relationship after going through dealbreakers.
For ops this list definitely looks like an attempt to convince themselves they should compromise to keep their relationship going. The problem is the cons contain several that look like dealbreakers and should not be compromised.
This is especially apparent because several pros say pretty much the same thing meaning they were most likely unconsciously inflating the pros to try and get further justification.
It's also concerning that the pros read like a list describing someone who is pretty much a good friend and not any that would only apply to a lover.
Or they had special freaky desires she was happy to entertain for trips to the hotel.
Updateme!
I don’t want the demand of having an actual job where hours are fixed but I have been thinking of volunteering. I’ll have a look into it
Neither of us have drank to where we need hospital, it was a mental health ward i was put on for something i did while drunk, but yea, I'm starting to see the problems with her now, ive been so understanding and nice cus of her miscarriage and the way lads used to treat her and she tried comparing me to em earlier and has done nothing but treat me like shit, the only thing is i don't think i can walk away…
It's not really a legal option at this point. He waited 15 years to contest paternity (that according to him he has always doubted), raises the child to a teenager, has no idea who the biological father might be and has no way idea of knowing if that father might want in this child's life.
To a court and a judge biology stops mattering if you've put your name on the birth certificate and raised them as your own long enough. A judge isn't going to do that to a child or teenager. Family court goes in the best interest of the child, and allowing the only father he has ever known, again for 15 years, to just bounce isn't what they will find best.
This is no different than people who think they can just go in and file for emergency sole custody or terminate a deadbeat parents parental rights. Do those options exist? Yes. Can you file? Sure. Do they have a high level of success outside of very high and naked to meet conditions? No.
Just because a legal option exists on paper doesn't mean it's viable or applies to the situation.
Well yeah, the meaning of a word is its use in a language, but it's a pity when certain perfectly good words lose their original meaning this way. I'm looking at you, gaslighting.
She's not an “amazing girl”. She's a selfish inconsiderate brat. DTMFA.
I logically understand your point of view, but I wouldn't exactly suggest she's entirely crazy for being a little bit taken aback by it. You could tell her these things, but if she wanted to come regardless, it's logically frustrating that you'd push back on it. You can find fun. You can clear your room. College dorms/rooms are usually small. What exactly do you mean by “packed?” Either way, a romantic interest is a bit different from a friend coming over. Less space isn't exactly a problem.
In the reverse, why can't you go to her as you suggested? We can't just brush that off. What did she say to that?
At this point she already decided against it, at least in her stage,
Keep in mind, that a paternity test prenatal, carries more risk towards the baby. So it might be, she's just against it because of the risk involved.
I would be cautiosly supportive toward her, tell her you will step up as a father once confirmed the baby is actually yours. If You can help in small ways, i would not be a dick about it. Similar to treating a friend, or an ex you parted ways with on decent terms because: on the off chance it is yours, a decent relationship with your ex makes life a lot easier
OP, u should also consider that he looked for someone OUTSIDE of the US because ur relationship in US would have been considered illegal.
he's gross.
Ouch… I tried to warn people at the top it was a long read. :/
You didnt do anything wrong. But under no circumstances would I continue down this road being in his position and idk many guys that would. Sorry.
For me it’s way too early as well. I’m thinking her visa situation may slightly be influencing the speed in how quick she wants to move in, get pregnant, etc. I know in certain countries you gain points if you have a spouse or living with a boyfriend of that country for a year.
I think we need to know more. You can have male friends at the same time you can have female friends. I'm more concerned about the fact that he is playing 8h a day. The fact that he plays with others is not that important but the attention he really gives you it is.
I don't know your situation but if is giving more attention to the game than yourself i will be concerned.
Fuck them and their guilt let them rot with it.
I wouldn't have been driving home, I don't drive
Don’t be depend on her, there is no respect there. Don’t keep maintain the relationship, whatever respect she had for you is gone regardless if you want to keep going or not.
Like people do when they imitate Stevie wonder or like thinks he really goes blind? What's he say or do that specifically tells you he went blind?
I think the ex finally reached out cuz his grandparent couldn't continue taking care of him proper. So op will probably see the child more often cuz his ex still can't support him. And are you suggesting op should cut off contact with his son at 18 since his legal obligation will be over? Op doesn't seem to be that type of person, so this kid will be a huge part in op's life until op dies or the child dies.
Companies will exploit you for as little as they can possibly pay you. You owe them nothing, they deserve no respect or consideration.
I actually agree with you as far as breaking up with him but everything else is extreme. Y’all weren’t together and neither of them even knew. I just have a naked rule of not dating any girl who has slept with one of my friends.
I think you were extremely hard on your friend and should apologize she did absolutely nothing wrong. It’s shitty situation you could have handled by sayin “ unfortunately this isn’t gonna work out as I am uncomfortable with you having slept with my friend, best of luck to you!”
Then call you friend and say no very hot feelings it sucks but she did nothing wrong
At this point, after 4 years, I think its less that he's an introvert and more that he's just a childish jerk. Can you really picture the rest of your life walking on eggshells with someone who refuses to meet the people important to you?
Don't apologize for this – it'll just give him more ammo to be a jerk. You did nothing wrong. If he wants to behave like a spoiled little child, let him. Go to the concert. If he refuses to go, then just have fun with your friends.
It's obvious you don't want to get married, so don't.
Don't give up on your relationship until you find out what is wrong…could be stress from work or something physical or something else…depression or he put on weight…doesn't feel good about himself or his body…have a long talk with him about how he is feeling. Maybe suggest a physical or a therapist.