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Could I suggest that she shows me her boobs or something wile she is here or if she wants to I would watch her please herself
Yeah, don't do that. I'm not sure what you should necessarily do, but something tells me that's not gonna go over well.
Yup… I know this type all too well
For starters toss him out, you should never stay with someone that treats you with such little respect. Clearly he doesnt want to be with you, so send him packing. Dont try to work it out, hes made it clear, so show him the door. You'll be better off as he sounds like a real a** hole.
That’s the thing. It’s so hard for me to tell where this is coming from and the true reason behind it. It doesn’t make sense to me
You’re a placeholder. Or he is lazy. Either tried way, even if you love dearly, respect yourself and leave.
Don’t say anything to him about leaving, he doesn’t deserve it after of years of waiting for “any day” on marriage.
OP said she is at least 18.
What is it I’m missing? All I’ve read is she said the sex is good and he wasn’t feeling it lol
You need to take care of yourself first, put self-care first. You know you won’t feel happy with this guy in the long run and in order to keep him you have to lose parts of yourself. Although I haven’t been in your exact situation, I have been in a situation where I had to sacrifice myself and my well-being in order to desperately cling to a relationship that wasn’t good for me (or for my ex, for that matter). I thought I wouldn’t be happy without him (tbh I wasn’t happy with him either) and I felt he was my only chance of love.
The thing is that you can love someone and still realise you won’t be happy together. This guy might be a fantastic partner for someone else, but not for you. You can lovingly let go of what doesn’t work. That way you open the door to someone even better (for you).
!remindme 5 months
And that's the problem with it.
The arguments are so nonsensical that you go, “HUH?”, and any attempt to have a rational conversation just devolves into “libruls”.
That's why it's not going to get better for you. You just cannot talk to people that have jumped down that rabbit hole.
I online in WY. Total red state. I'm an independent liking neither party, but, after Jan 6? Yeah, if the Democratic Party isn't putting forward decent candidates, I stay home. I don't talk to neighbors. I tried. When one of them stated, and I'm not sh*tting here, that the 08 economic crash was all Obama's fault… I looked at the guy, said, “Bush Jr. was President in 08. Obama didn't even take office until 09”. He got a deer in the headlight look in his eyes, stood there a minute silently, you could just SEE the gears grinding in his head, and he turned, walked off.
Oh, Gulf War vet here btw (saw your comment on being a vet).
Their lives would change? How? The mother said she doesn't want him to have any part of the kids life.
Idk it sounds like she hasn’t told him what is going on and is just expecting him to deal with her absence and lack of responsiveness. That is toxic and unhealthy. If you need time and space, you have to communicate that – not ask permission, but give a heads up.
Honestly, I think at this point, if you keep leaving the door unlocked, she’d be more inclined to leave you alone. Reverse psychology.
In my house none of us ever lock our door but all of us knock. If my husband suddenly started locking doors I’d be hella suspicious, especially since we share a bathroom.
As a friend says, “Once is a pattern.”
You are seeing your future if you stay with her — weird and scary outbursts followed by tears and apologies. The longer you are with her, the more comfortable she will be with letting her facade slip and the worse it will become. The “reasons” don't matter — we all have stress but we don't all throw things at our partners or threaten suicide as a trap. Nope nope nope.
I say, move on now before you invest any ore time.
He thinks you ruined his holiday by refusing to commit criminal acts in a strange country?
He is a terrible person. Don’t forget this.
He is married or she is his GF. Come on. He is almost 10 years older.
I would have never dated someone who's roommate is the ex girlfriend. Come on! First, it's obviously a lie. Second, if it's actually true, it means they are still codependent and not ready to date others.. who the fuck lives with an ex BY CHOICE?
You should have stopped seeing when he told you. He probably cheats and you were naive enough to fall for his dumb reason.
I'd be ending the entire thing.
The marriage was built on a façade, and she knew this – that's why she created it. You deserve more respect.
Thank you for your heartfelt response… I absolutely agree and it shows a lack of respect and maturity. Sadly ghosting is a app thing. Jeez the people on Reddit do it is unreal lol ? Please don’t let this define your experiences and bounce back stronger for this. Keep smiling buddy
Let her go. She expects you to let her “be herself” even if it’s rude yet you’re not allowed to call her out on her bad behaviour?
Nope. That’s not how a healthy equal partnership works. She’s arrogant and tone deaf.
Maybe discuss with her about expectations. How often does she want to see you? You might just like a lot of time alone. You have to work this out with her.
That's fucked up and I would explode with rage if I were in your place. Who the fuck does that to another person. Selfish asshole.
Dump him and move on.
This isn’t as bad as I might have assumed just from the title alone. Maybe you just left out context, but over six dates, he never once asked what you want to do? That might have led to a natural transition into telling him you didn’t graduate.
He may very well not care what you do in the sense that maybe it doesn’t matter to him. He might be perfectly fine with your answer of being a bartender and left it at that. And that’s great. It’s still odd though that this conversation wouldn’t have happened (if it didn’t) as it’s a pretty standard topic in terms of thinking about your future and assessing compatibility.
Either way, there’s two things from that, one in terms of how you handle this from a relationship standpoint and one in terms of how you should consider handling things on a personal level. So first, I think on your next date you just come out with it directly. Something like “hey, I need to tell you something. I’ve been embarrassed to tell you, but if this is going to progress, I can’t go into it without being honest. I never graduated college. I got assaulted on campus which really negatively impacted me and I had to leave. I’m sorry I wasn’t up front about that but I think you should know.
I’m honestly worried the least about him being bothered about the lie by omission. Could you not having graduated be a turn off? Absolutely. Or maybe it’s not. Do you have a future plan? That’s going to potentially be important to him, but it certainly should be for you. Or maybe it won’t matter to him.
The second thing is your mental health. Like me stop here to say I’m so sorry with what you experienced and what you’re dealing with. I can’t even imagine. But just like your plan in terms of your future job/career/education, the present state of something doesn’t necessarily have to be a deal breaker. What’s generally important is how those things are being managed.
In saying that, you have PTSD. Pretty damn natural for a trauma you experienced. However, that’s something that needs to be actively worked on in order for not only you to be healthy, but to be able to have a real opportunity at a healthy relationship. Your PTSD and struggles with intimacy will naturally negatively impact any relationship you’re in unless it’s managed and ideally remediated. It’s easy to say that any partner should be patient and respect what you’ve dealt with (and they should), but that will only ever go so far. A partner can’t just be expected to deal with things as they are if their needs aren’t met, and that goes beyond sex to be clear.
So I know after reading that it’s probably even scarier. But you need to be honest and what will be will be. It’s ultimately going to come out, so better now than later. The most important thing is that your mental health is where you need it to be. The rest will follow. Good luck.
A person who says they love you can still kill you. Happens all the time. There are thousands upon thousands of cases like this that end in homicide that you can read about. This love bombing he does is apart of the abuse, it’s to keep you there and keep you questioning. Don’t let your child become apart of this cycle, break it now. It’s no longer just about you. There’s a helpless kid involved and he will start hurting him eventually.
He is full of excuses.
One strategy men use to end marriages is to make the conditions worse and worse until the woman is the “bad guy” who quits the marriage.
I know you care about him, but it is really hard for one person to fix a marriage. It takes 2.
There's a difference between saying “oh it's just cramps” and specifying “my period cramps are awful because I bleed a lot when I menstruate” when a stranger you've just met is eating dinner with your family for the first time.
To be brutally honest you fucked up hugely.
If you want any hope of saving this you need to be remorseful, honest and you need to out the work in
Your post reads like you are feeling very much like a victim and feeling sorry for yourself. No where do you say how he feels, what you've done for him other than deleting apps and saying you'll quit, which he didn't ask for so that's for your guilt not his comfort. I mean Jesus he found out you cheated and he's having to look after you while you cry and make sure you eat. How is that fair?
He honestly deserves better but if he's willing to stay then you need to start putting him first, and maybe actually ask him what he needs from you.
Take a permanent break from this drama llama
You weren't replacing him before but you should now.
Sounds like a karma farm to me
I mean. I rolled my eyes. No fucking way would I be spoken to this way all the time. Over a nap of all bullshit.
The kids will pick up on the way he talks to her and learn from it far more than a deserved eye roll.
Your bf is a raging misogynistic asshole jfc look in the mirror have you read what you wrote?? I camt even finish this post smh
Lmaooooooo
OP, if for you sex is “almost my way of just feeling loved” it indicates perhaps some misplaced priorities on your part (maybe even some childhood sexual abuse). But if that's your standard for a good relationship and your boyfriend doesn't have a particularly high libido you and he just aren't good match. The point of dating (especially as teenagers) is to learn how to find someone who's a good fit for you the way you are and they way they are. It isn't to latch onto someone with diametrically opposed traits then to try to change them into what you want. You may not be doing anything “wrong” and he may not be either. It could be that you're just not meant to be together because you're too different in the ways that matter most to you.
It is only going to get worse. I don't normally say this, but in this case ending the relationship is the answer here, if you don't it will just get worse and however long it takes you'll end up looking back and saying that is when I should have left.
He asked me first because I'm bi so I thought I'd say “what about you”….
You can't just tell someone that something bad happened and tell that they will tell them later.
Not sure what the cops can do. Don’t “beg” for a breakup. End it. He doesn’t have to buy in he just needs to get out. Depending on where you online, you may have to go through a formal eviction process to get him out if he’s living there.
This, when I was young and dumb I ripped a bunch of skin off with that stuff.
OP would be in the ER if it had been over their eye and mouth area for 20 minutes.
That wasn’t a question that you need to find an answer. Your „love“ is just cheap and not really good if you can cheat on your girlfriend. Someone who deeply loves their partner wouldn’t even think about cheating. Yet here you are saying she is the „love of your life“ and how horrible you feel, well what do you think how she will feel when she finds out her boyfriend who should love her cheated on her.
I suggest crossposting this to r/LGBT for some answers that may better address what is happening between you and your friend. I know you said that you are not gay and neither is he but, you are engaged in homosexual situation-ship. I think you should ask for advice from that community.
My advice: you two need to have an open and honest conversation about what is really going on between you two.