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Model from: es
Languages: en,es
Birth Date: 1995-07-18
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
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You have a lot of answers to everybody but here is my take. His sisters had the baby shower before the baby was born when she said it was his baby. That is normal and not suspicious. After the baby was born and he wanted a paternity test, she refused so he and his family questioned whether it was his child. Then she said she didn’t want him involved in the baby’s life and didn’t want child support, so that was more evidence to everyone that he wasn’t the father. She and the baby are out of your boyfriend and his family’s life, so why are you obsessing about it? Of course a child should know their father but he doesn’t want to be the father, she doesn’t want him to be the father, his family doesn’t see her or the baby now, so what’s the point? You are seeing lawyers, ordering the birth certificate and worrying about child support she hasn’t asked for. The child will find out who their father is when they are old enough to search in their own. You are stirring up trouble for no real reason. Let it go, tell the friend who got you riled up that the subject is dead, and enjoy your life with your boyfriend. In 18 years when you and he are married with kids of your own and a teenager shows up at your door, worry about it then.
Holy moly. I would've had her arrested myself, but you may want to consider an order of protection against her. She is not well at all if she is flying into a literal stabby rage.
I'm sorry about how your relationship ended but it sounds like she wasn't getting the help she needed for her earlier traumas. Sadly, you can't love sunshine enough to fix that.
Drama Queen theatrics.
You dodged a Bullet.
You absolutely do not have a father daughter relationship with this girl if you want to have sec with her, which you obviously do. You're a 30 year old man. Find friends your own age.
Apparently I’m not listening because unless I completely missed it, you have not said anything about how it’s not automatically 50-50! All you have mentioned was about alimony. So if the division of marital property is counted as alimony, then I apologize for my ignorance of that.
“I’m really care about you (love you?) and feeling good about our relationship right now. I was thinking it might be cool to talk about moving in together. Would that be something you’d want to discuss?”
And then if she says she not ready you just say “No worries. I don’t want to pressure you or rush things. Was just thinking it would be a good next step. But I totally understand if you want to wait longer.” And try to not be hurt. Just understand that sometimes people have different timelines for things.
If she says YES: “That’s awesome! We can talk about it now or maybe this weekend. Why don’t you think about what that looks like to you and so will I. We can spend some time this weekend thinking through the details and logistics.”
Then you want to talk about things like finances, budget, renters insurance, preferred neighborhoods, pets and what they need, how much space you two need to live and work, what your commutes look like, household chores and responsibilities, guidelines and boundaries for having company over. How you decorate. What stuff do you both bring to the space. Nothing is set in stone but you have to listen to each other, discuss options, compromise here and there.
Recommend you keep you finances separate but have a budget of shared costs like rent, food, utilities. Then open a shared checking account that you both contribute to in order to pay for shared expenses and savings for vacations or activities. It doesn’t have to be 50/50 split if one of you makes a significantly more than the other. It might be 60/40 or something else. And that’s ok too. This worked really well for my parents when they first stared out. They still do this after 35 years of marriage. My husband and I also do it. Married 15 years.
Good luck!