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Well right off the bat i was in this situation that this individual convinced/baited me a relationship (he knew i wanted it, and used this to manipulate ), for starters. Which we know it would all be bad in the end anyways. Last straw was when the girl he had gone to a fair with (he claimed he was broke and wanted me to be oatient and nice and he would of taken me out kinda bs) One day he gets a message from the infamous lover girl, that happen to pop up while in the middle of showing me something on his phone. It has been a year throughout all this time of the blame being on me and other fucked up shit, hid her this entire time and i was in it involuntarily. Until one day i said fuck it and found the girl sent her receipts and she can do whatever the fuck she wants with them and him. She may have had reasons to love him cuz how he treated her, but i was treated so much more harsh and didnt compare to hers what so ever and he expects tbe same treatment? Not how it works but good try this time around.
Sounds like your wife's got some serious BPD issues and it's really takin a toll on your relationship. From what you're describin, it sounds like she's got some pretty intense anxiety and a pretty big inferiority complex when it comes to your family. That can make for a really tough situation, bro. It sounds like she's really struggling with some pretty heavy stuff and it's manifesting in some pretty destructive ways.
One thing I'll say is that, from what you've described, it doesn't sound like your wife is really in the right place to make big decisions about your relationship right now. It sounds like she's really struggling with a lot of deep-seated issues and that's clouding her judgement. That's not to say that you can't make the decision to divorce if that's what you want, but I think you need to be really careful about how you approach this. If you're thinking about divorce, make sure you're doing it for the right reasons and not just because she's pressuring you to.
It sounds like your wife needs professional help. And it doesn't seem like she's taking it. So if the situation is so bad that it's making you miserable and it's not going to change. It's time to think about yourself and your well-being.
Another thing is you might want to limit the number of times you interact with her for a while. Not necessarily cut her off completely but just not be around her 24/7. Give yourself some time to process things and figure out what you really want.
Divorce is a big step, man. And it sounds like she's not in the right place to be making that kind of decision right now. So don't rush into anything. Talk to a counselor or therapist about what you're going through. They can help you navigate this tough time and give you some advice on how to handle the situation in a way that's healthy for you. And don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family too.
I hope this advice helps, bro. And remember, it's important to take care of yourself first and foremost.
Well we have a lot in common- I enjoy our time together, and she seems to also. We both want it and we are both consenting adults. My question is this mentally healthy for me. The morality of it is a separate question, but I think most people don't think it's immoral for a 42 year old to date a 23 year old.
No more context is needed. This relationship has just run its course and you shouldn't allow yourself to be her backup plan between the new relationships she's seeking. She smacks of someone who can't be alone ever and that's a deep and dangerous character flaw.
Don't do that. That's way weird