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To finally fuck my neighbor in her tight ass before my girl gets home from work, 33 y.o.
Location: Wisconsin, United States
Room subject: To finally fuck my neighbor in her tight ass before my girl gets home from work [2454 tokens remaining]
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She’s also started taking this maca supplement to increase her libido but I’ve heard it can also cause anger issues maybe a first step i can try before breaking up with her is to get her off that supplement.
err get a grip….
All my life if I get too drunk I black out, I never pass out. There have been times where I'd ask my friends what happened and they'd be surprised I don't remember because we had a full on conversation or did some kind of activity.
That being said, OP says every time she drinks she blacks out. Unless she's really hitting the bottle very hot that is not normal. Could be an interaction with medication, could be getting drugged, but she could also just be a super heavy drinker that drinks to the point of blacking out every single time.
You are very understanding of your boyfriend 's needs. He is also capable of understanding of your anxiety and the ways that adrenaline interferes with memory. He is also capable of understanding that you have PTSD.
People on the spectrum aren't gonna die if they don't get every wish and desire fulfilled. And what you're describing for this adult man are wants, not needs, because he is fully capable of going to the store and obtaining the things he needs if you forget to bring them to him. I would sit down with him at a time you're both in a calm mood. Tell him it's not acceptable for him to continue yelling at you out of frustration, and that he needs to find strategies to cope when he's feeling upset. Tell him there is no link between the space you have in your brain to remember things and the amount you care for him. Tell him that just as you make an effort to accommodate the way his brain works, he needs to accommodate the way your brain with PTSD works.
You aren't a horrible partner. You at least make an effort to write things down and are trying to solve the problem. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Okay.
I'd suggested long ago that I'd be open to learning more about her religious beliefs and would be willing to attend church with her if she wanted that however I also made it clear I would never believe the same things that she does and abstinence or any kind of personal lifestyle sacrifice is just a total red line for me.
She wasn't used in her last relationship afaik but it's also fair to say from what she's told me, her married life was far from normal.
My friend, my heart goes out to you and your recovery.
But I say this with all kindness and empathy for your position, but this is on you and your failure to have firm and proper boundaries for yourself.
You are giving her the reigns on your own life. While relationships require compromise and negotiation, they also require that you don't act in ways that build resentment. And when you negotiate, you need to actually advocate for yourself and be vulnerable.
Resentment is building in large part due to your failure to say “no” when you want to say “no”.
My best advice is to 100% stop saying “yes” when you want to say “no”. A sense of obligation is not a sufficient reason to ignore and neglect your own needs and go along with the decision of others.
This is your wife and you two are in it for the long haul. Which means a few things.
you have a long time to rebuild and regain trust from her family. It will not happen by simply attending reunions and using all of your free time with them. I promise. It'll be a process and that process does not require you to consistently put yourself in a position that you don't want to be in. You are responsible for maintaining a healthy dynamic. Which means that whenever you agree to something that brings up feelings of resentment, you're sabotaging the relationship in the long term. it might make her happy in the short term, but if it's causing you to feel drained and resentful then you are not actually acting in a way that strengthens the relationship. Are you being as vulnerable with her as you are in this post? You share a lot of trauma and feelings in your post which really makes it easy to empathize with you. However, if you're just telling him that you don't want to do things or are not fully communicating your feelings, she might not understand where you're coming from and why you feel the way you do. My advice is to really open up to her, be candid, share your feelings, ask for her patience and understanding, and let her know how you feel by putting yourself in situations that you don't want to be in. If you can be candid and vulnerable with her, I think you have a much better chance of reaching a compromise and getting some compassion on her end.
Overall it sounds like you really need to work on asserting firm boundaries, and kindly and lovingly being in control and having the final say on your life decisions (every time you defer responsibility to her and give her the final say, it's disempowering you and making you grow resentful which ultimately hurts the relationship- and this is actually on you even though she's being persuasive. It's up to you to advocate for yourself and draw boundaries as needed). Additionally, communication and vulnerability are key. It sounds like you have a lot to process and asking for love and support and being clear about how she can show that to you will go a long way and can genuinely save your relationship.
Wishing you the best.