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There are so many degrees of separation between you and the cheater that you could probably find Kevin Bacon half a dozen times. You’re asking if you should inject yourself into someone else’s relationship and try to cause drama using unsubstantiated rumors.
Christ, at this point I would honestly be questioning my relationship with you if I was your boyfriend. Like how many years of shit is he gonna have to put up with at family events if he stays with you and you let that crap continue? You need to put down naked boundaries with your parents and get an apology from both your mum and step dad about their behaviour because it was absolutely not ok, not appropriate and not acceptable.
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Is there nothing I can do?
The whole point of #4 is to set your boundaries and communicate with your husband. You should never have to give in and accept things you find objectionable. Say no. Renegotiate and stand up for yourself. This is your one life!
What you can't control is how your husband will respond but you have 100% control over how you react to him so you always have choices (altho to automatically take divorce off the table, you have limited your choices).
Learn how to compromise and coexist Focus on other things, like raising your children Live independent lives (could be in the same house or separate and online apart)