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The consequences are that his relationship is over, not his life and financial stability
I had a similar situation where I was seeing a girl but we weren't exclusive yet. But we had already had dates for Valentine's day and had plans to go do a romantic vacation together (she actually suggested it) Then she didn't answer for a few weeks, when she did she broke down and said she went on a date with a coworker, who I knew she really liked when we met but insisted nothing would ever happen with him, they wound up sleeping together the next day.
Apparently the experience was very shitty and he had dumped his girlfriend to sleep with her (genius move on her part) and things went south and then she wound up telling me all about it. Cause she 'wanted to be honest '.
I was absolutely betrayed by this and I struggled with it. Yeah we weren't exclusive, but we still had been dating for months, she said he wasn't an issue, and we had the romantic trip planned.
I tried to talk to her about it, but she minimized how I felt and sometimes played 'whoa is me' cause she still had to deal with him. She also tried to reassure me she wasn't dating, she really liked me and I was a really great guy and so wonderful to her and she wanted our relationship to keep going.
But I still couldn't trust her completely, and I probably never would have. She also ruined her image of her in my head, cause I felt lied to, cheated on and used. Whenever I thought of her sexually, I could only think of her and that guy. She never tried to make it better, not saying I understand I hurt you, what can I do to make it better.
So I blew up and told her I was still struggling with what she did. We were 2 months away from our trip and I was still hurting. I said I had already fallen in love with her and what she did crushed me and I didn't want to miss out on her but this shit was tearing me apart. All she did was tell me that she understood it had been naked on me, but she chose to be honest. But she's the one who has to be around him everyday and she had zero intentions of anything happening. But I was now putting pressure on her and I made her feel like the time I said I loved her wasn't special. (Yet the very first time she actually said she liked me was after she told me she slept with another guy, and thought it was weird I asked her to say it more cause I need that reassurance)
Things ended. I don't know exactly what snapped in her but she changed her tune and said a lot to hurt me and it was a shitty end. But she ruined our relationship by sleeping with this guy and she never worked to fix it. I'm sure anyone who takes the time to read this will say I shouldn't have stayed and she's not worthy of me.
For you, he's the same way. He lost his vision of you, how he feels sexually has changedz and he doesn't trust you around him. Unless you try to really talk and fix things, you're better off separate.
Short answer: No
Long Answer: No, this is extremely predatory. Even if it seems consensual, minors cannot consent. (17 is a minor in most regions)
Sorry, you're drunk ?
I cannot, in good conscience, converse with you.
Have a blessed day
Depends on your relationship. My husband and I say things like that to each other all the time, but we know how much we love and respect each other, and we're totally there for each other. So for us, that would have been a big laugh and move on. Now had my previous husband said it, it would have had an undertone plus I would have taken it as an insult and it would have caused a fight. ?♀️
Take the key back so it never happens again.
I really hope you learn to be a better person, goodluck
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Dude… the fact that she swims bare ass naked with her “friends” and other random guy's bothers me alot and i'm not in a relationship with her, you are so it should bother you alot!
What she is doing is beyond disrespectful, tell her straight up that your not okay with what she is doing, that it makes you extremely uncomfortable. If she tries to justified her actions then ask her to imagine that the roles were reverse and you were swimming fully hot with other woman, how would she feel about it?
If she continues to excuse her actions then you should honestly break up with her, someone that can't respect there partner is not worth it…
Other people are right- you should distance yourself from her. I had a friend who I discovered was a serial cheater in a devastating way, literally her AP who I was also friends with found me and told me about it first (bc he didn't know he was an AP at all). It broke my heart for everyone involved but her. And I did distance myself from her as well as our other best friend. (We were a strong group of three besties.) I think losing two good friends who were not romantically involved in the mess made her realize how bad her problem really was.
No. Don’t do it. Trust is lost and that the most important thing
Big fat YES.
You’ve spent half your life with a grade A asshole, what reasons do you have to GIVE him the other half??? You’d be doing your children a huge disservice by staying with their father who doesn’t even LIKE you on a basic level.
Keep your stuff and finances separate from his and file immediately. Stick to your guns and don’t listen to a word he says—after all, he’s a confirmed liar, what’s there to consider anymore for someone so untrustworthy? His opportunity to be a good person, partner/husband/in-law/friend is long gone because he’s burned every bridge possible.
I know this very well because my own ex-husband is the same way. I say “is” because nothing has changed since our divorce except that we aren’t married anymore as of late last year. He burned all bridges with both my family and who he deemed “my friends” referring to me even though our friend group consisted of the exact same people. The only difference is that once I got involved with my ex and we dated steadily and married, he got insanely jealous and paranoid and accused me of constantly cheating on him within the friend group because he was of the stupid belief that I couldn’t be faithful and be best friends with guys. ?
Your husband is proving his value is actually much less than the dirt he walks on. My ex just stopped wanting to go with me to family gatherings and ruined literally every birthday I had with him—we were married exactly 5 years before I moved out and left him on our 5th anniversary. He cried, begged and pleaded for me to give him 6 months to get his whole act together; when I said no, he knocked it down to 3 and said he’d do everything I asked him to do. I tried marriage counseling with him and he’d tell the therapist that my anxiety and depression were my problem, that nothing was wrong with him and he was only there to support me in getting better. I continued individual therapy alone with that therapist for 2 years until I couldn’t afford her anymore and had to stop.
My ex is a huge weed and alcohol addict too, on top of being unable to keep a job for a few months at a time. He was truly the biggest mess of a human being and non-adult I’ve ever known. He was truly the culmination of both the partner I didn’t want for myself and the type of partner I vow to never be. Divorcing him only took 9 months because we have no kids or property to “fight over” and I packed everything I could except some clothes I forgot and a few collectibles.
For a few months during the divorce he emailed me, left me voicemails and threatened to sue me for spousal support because he accused me of “leaving the family home and forcing him to pay rent by himself for the last 6 months of the lease we both signed”. I told him good luck in small claims and if he really wanted to go after my money because he keeps spending his on weed and not paying his rent, then he has to actually go through all the steps to file and pay the fees to initiate it. Guess who went quiet after that?
The last I heard from him was last summer where he left a voicemail about a pet I gave up any right or ownership to dying around 4AM. I changed my phone number, got a new phone, blocked his phone numbers and blocked all his email addresses within less than a week. Now it’s complete silence and I’ve never been happier.
Your kids deserve a stable home and a loving parent (you). You need to show them that when someone doesn’t respect you, let alone like you, you don’t stick around and you leave them with the garbage they really are. Force your husband to see you will no longer tolerate his immature behavior by leaving him and never going back. Don’t give him anymore of your precious time for him to piss off and waste. He can no longer afford it unless you continue to give him permission.
You can do it, OP.
He sounds like a child. 32 year old woman here! I would not stay with this kid any longer. He doesn’t want to better his life but you do. Get your own small house with the dog and an alarm system. You don’t need another person to feel safe! Also strongly suggest some kind of kick boxing or karate class to help you.
…. maybe you and him can go visit PT and have them explain to him. Swimming is absolutely the best exercise for those with joint problems.
Are you generally a non-confrontational type of person? Maybe you regularly do things that you don't want to in order to avoid confrontation but this is the first time you did something you really regretted because of it? Just a wild guess you would know better than me if this is the case.
Listen, you can't spoil a baby of six months, because they are not cognizant enough to be manipulative and act out to get attention. At this stage, basic trust is built, which will determine the baby's mental health for its entire life. And the basic trust is built through the baby knowing it wasn't abandoned, and if it's crying, someone will come. The baby is really not screaming for attention or because it's spoiled, but out of distress – and letting him “scream it out” would just leave him terrified and alone and abandoned and destroy his basic trust, which is not something you can repair or rebuild, ever, you can only learn to deal with it through therapy.
I suggest you read more books about child psychology and development, before you criticize your girlfriend for how she does things. There is a reason she reacts like she does to her baby's crying – there have actually been tests: play any other baby's crying to a mother, and she reacts normal, play her own baby's crying to her, and it will rouse her out of a deep sleep, and put her in real distress – so she is biologically programmed to react to her baby and take care of it.
Well unfollow that account now and tell her that it was a mistake? If u genuinely think it was.
Continuing Doing something because you've already been doing it for 5 years is a very weak reason to keep doing it.
Text her. I know it sounds bad, but when you know you get over emotional, it is best to put your thoughts in writing. Even email would be acceptable if you're sure she would read it.
Just tell her that you found it rude and unacceptable for someone who is supposed to be your friend to tease your husband like she has been
Honestly, it would be enough for me to end the friendship.
He sounds like a poser
The lack of consideration and sacrifices you’ve made is very telling. Especially if he thinks a Brazilian wax is a date, that shows how superficial he is and already next level to trying to change her physically…well, unless he’s getting a Brazilian wax also. I would reconsider this relationship and look into going back home. This seems like ya are not compatible to me and he does not seem to want to make it work.
Did they give you a receipt for it? Is there a license number for the therapist?
That’s on HER to use her rational mind and recognize he did absolutely nothing wrong, he defended her. He shouldn’t have to suffer because of her past trauma.
If someone is a harm to themselves or others and it sounds like it’s true, then you have a moral obligation to say something. You did the right thing op
Talk to an attorney who specializes in forensic accounting
I don't get it myself. If I'm horny I just wait till my gf gets home.
Or they interpret it as “she had me moved so I would no longer be a direct report because she likes me too” and things escalate further
He broke the number one aspect of a relationship, trust. He is not to be trusted.
The relationship itself was warm and fun, and in hindsight I think we could have worked on the negative things. But of course whenever I think rationally, I know that it probably made sense to break up.
> Are you having other mental issues? I suggest seeing a professional.
I definitely need more friends and contacts. And I kind of feel ashamed that my ex-gf got her “rebound partner/sex” so fast, while I'm struggling and trying to move on all the time. I met for 2 dates, but it didn't feel right, so for now I just focus on myself.
So he had your brother rape you?
There's nothing to think about. You get a fucking divorce and never see him again.
He has a female roommate whom I met and he told me his last relationship was over a year ago.
How he describes it a matter of respect rather than his own insecurities
This is a lie. It is 100% about his fragile ego.
I can never go out without having to check with him to see if my outfit is okay first
This needs to stop immediately. No one gets to tell you what you can and can't wear. No one. Yesterday should be the last day you put up with this.
This is either rage bait or you’re an awful, self absorbed AH. I’m thinking a little of both
I believe that we encourage our partners life outside of the relationship. Nobody can be a person’s everything. You shouldn’t have to choose between doing things you enjoy and having a girlfriend.
If you’re having these thoughts everyday, then this isn’t the right relationship for you.
Boo hoo idiot. Find a new friend, don't start affairs, respect others. Get effed.