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You don't live! him, you love who he told you he was, who doesn't exist. He lied and told you he had the same beliefs as you and had certain interests and none of it was true. He doesn't even know who he is so how can you? You're in a really impossible situation really. You can't help someone who doesn't want it. He has to want to change and obviously doesn't if he's lying to a therapist. You're just throwing money away there. You've already told him what the problem is more than once it sounds like. Not much more you can do unfortunately, may be time to call it quits.
Please take reddits advice on this one op, lawyer up bc if she’s not willing to admit it, she’s gonna see someone else to see if it’s worth leaving you for. This is messed up and your worth more. Please protect yourself with a lawyer and do not speak any of this with her, just protect yourself