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I know it sucks now, but I honestly think you'll be fine once you get some distance from this. Feel better soon
You do realize that covid isn't over, right? Maybe she's immunocompromised or has a family member who is. And the fact that no one else is making is even more of a reason for her to wear a mask. Why are you upset about this? If you met her and she was constantly masking in public, why are you trying to change her?
It sounds like she's looking out for her health and the health of others.
Why would you tell him that seriously ?
it is pretty problematic. biologically she is barely and adult and her brain hasn't stopped developing and she hasn't figured a lot out for herself, he has, his brain is no longer developing and there's an imbalance there. if it was 26 and 31 or even 24 and 29 it's not bad, but at her stage it is.
Just move on. You basically had a “contract” that said sex with no strings attached, he is taking that to the extreme. You don't always get closure when it's not a relationship. It's more of an extended one night stand quite often. More than likely he was upset you gave him a pregnancy scare by not taking your pill, decided to leave thinking he might get baby trapped. He probably got another option or maybe settled down with a girl.
Nope! The next day I took initiative and said it first (whispered into his ears). He then said it write back whilst crying.
Always tough. Once you are both calm, ask him to set boundaries with you so he knows you care but also can't deny your needs. Afterwards make sure to connect before you disconnect by doing something he truly enjoys before spending time apart.
It is a parade of red flags. No woman would willingly sign up for this and if she is unknowingly trapped in it that would absolutely lead to divorce. You sound insane.
I haven't even hinted to friends I need dating help… I've straight up asked for advice and it wasn't helpful. All I got was “ask more girls out”, which isn't really helpful since I have a thing against asking girls out unless I know they're interested (obviously I've never asked out anyone).
The guilt of terminating the pregnancy will probably be a lot less than the guilt you would feel for bringing a child into such an already traumatizing situation.
Or at least I hope you would feel guilt for it. And for the love of God, use condoms. I wish this was a troll post but unfortunately this lack of carelessness and lack of self awareness sounds all too real.
I don’t use this word lightly, but your husband is retarded…
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There usually isn't a perfect fit on all points. But after some time and adapting to each other, it might feel perfect, or close to it.
Somewhere else you wrote you're both introverted – which might make things easier. Imagine dating an extrovert who wants you to join in for parties and other stuff burning you out quickly without time to recharge your energy. With an introvert, finding a shared lifestyle seems a lot easier.
He also didn't choose to be honest, he just got caught. He knocked someone up and you really think they're going to stop having sex?
It doesn't matter what the gift is… You put time, energy and thought into buying him a gift. He did none of those things for you. He's an inconsiderate asshole.
That is one person sized bullet you dodged there OP.
Word of advice, take some time out for yourself before you go jumping back into the dating pool and block your ex everywhere and on everything.
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good meetin u
Thank you, and thank you for the advice. I hope you have a great year.
Of course i will leave.
Not trying to be a white knight or whatever, but I'm actually looking for advice on how to get her to the police, hopefully get her jailed also
Yes you posted how she feels but you also posted what she asked you to do, then you make her look crazy for asking you to talk with her about the issus you are having, you wrote that she's abusive, then you are proudly 6 years together, you are the one trying to resolve the problems but you never understood that YOU created the problem, that you are the problem, that she's right by asking you to talk with her before talking with your friends, that problem is you saying NO. You want to dismiss her and do your thing at all cost.
You don't understand how telling issues to your friends is damaging to her reputation. You don't let her tell her side of the story to your friends, you control the narrative…. You might think that you are right but you are totally delusional! No empathy, claiming to love her but keep destroying her reputation.
If you are abused, ask your friends to help you leave the relationship! But don't try to trash the person that you claim to love! You don't know what love is… It's not being in control, it's not playing games, it's something completely different!
“I discovered a sign that my husband may have serious mental issues, although they don’t harm me in any way. What should I do, try to get him some help?”
“No, divorce!”
If it wasn’t that bad, he wouldn’t be attempting to hide evidence. Make him read ‘Not Just Friends’ by Shirley Glass. You can’t stay with him AND he stays at the job around her. One or the other has to go.
Not me scoring a whooping 27 points
If she’s working 24/7 taking care of the kids and house and he’s working 40 hours a week he’s the primary beneficiary of this arrangement.
I’m not assuming, I know by what he’s written and knowing how the German system works and how much you need to support a child?
It's only been two months.
If it had been two years I might say that you should let him go but there's barely been any time for feelings to develop.
Are those 3hrs on the Saturday while she's with you? Because if she's with you one day out of the week and you choose to spend that time playing video games leaving her to twiddle her thumbs for 3hrs I can understand why she'd be upset.
It's like going to your best friend's party with her as arm candy and just ignoring her the whole party. Not asking her to be part of the conversation/game just asking her to be there… Doing nothing. I'd think you were cheating on me with your best friend if they got all your attention and you left me alone in the corner despite YOU inviting ME.
Makes sense! It wasn’t even the number that he gave me, just the whole rating ‘logically’ fiasco seemed unnecessarily. Thanks 🙂
Am I like insane to feel almost like he broke my trust?
Not at all! Absent any mental health grounds for such reckless behaviour (and even then…) I'd consider this as potentially relationship-ending. Personally I'd lose every scrap of respect for him. I don't know what your best way forward is at this point but just know that your feelings are valid.
Why is this the most controversial comment? I wonder …
So tell her that know that the invite was for both, as you saw it. That will likely open a can of worms, but there’s nothing you can do about that.
Then ask her why she lied to you, why does she not want you there.
Then you ask her to actually think. The invitation came from the bride to be, personally. This likely means that the bride to be knows that your gf doesn’t like her much, and is trying to prove that she is an important part of her new family.
Divorce that stupid clown and get your best buddy back no matter the cost.
The price of gas is too expensive so to avoid having to put on the radiators we have decided to share bodyheat by sleeping very hot in the same bed. I can't believe it is a problem for you, how rude.
You are being controlling, but if you don't like how she behaves you should break up
You go, girl.
Good that you put your foot down on this. You will find a better guy.
There is a big difference between loving/committing to someone and wanting to have a baby with them. A baby is far more than just a sign of love and commitment, a baby is a living, breathing human being that you become fully responsible for. And if you feel you cannot be responsible (whether mentally or financially) then it is absolutely not something you should go through with. Not wanting a baby at this point is not a sign your boyfriend doesn't love you or doesn't see a future with you. It is him making the mature decision of acknowledging he is not ready for this, supporting you in your actions, but still making it clear this is not a good idea from his perspective. This is not him being unloving, this is him being smart. You have the right to choose what to do, but he has the right to his opinion. A baby is a huge commitment and responsibility. It is not just symbolism.
There is no middle ground. He’s not respecting your boundaries. Discussing it once is fine, pushing the topic over and over isn’t. He’s trying to pressure you into accepting his wishes. Find someone you’re compatible with. This isn’t the relationship for you.
Girl, you're already being abused; he will absolutely hit you in the future. Regardless of the gaslighting you are doing to yourself- if he swung on you, he was trying to hit you. Luckily he is a loser with bad aim. Leave now. It's not your fault if he hits you, but the only thing keeping you there at this point is yourself. Get out now, before it gets to the point where there are things that will actually force you to stay.
I’m away from home for months. She wants to phone weekly and this is on my mind every time we talk. It’s too “heavy” to discuss on the phone but waiting until I get back seems worse.