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1. Please remember to breathe. Try to think in terms of “the next 10 minutes”. It’s going to take you awhile to make long term plans again. Your world is rocked right now. “In the next 10mins, I will eat something healthy/drink water/breathe”.

   What you’re going through absolutely, 100% sucks. There are so many guys on here that have gone through similar heartbreak and it’s the worst feeling in the world. Just know you’ll get better but it’s a process. You don’t need to “grow balls”… you’re human and you had a relationship where the trust is now destroyed. Breathe, know you will be okay, your kids love you. Get that lawyer, find that therapist (asap), remember to eat healthy and drink plenty of water, and go for walks.

   Soon you’ll go from 10mins at a time to 30mins to a full day and then weekly. This shit is traumatic. We support you.

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2. Maybe he can try Peroxyl mouthwash with peroxide in it.

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3. My friend, my heart goes out to you and your recovery.

   But I say this with all kindness and empathy for your position, but this is on you and your failure to have firm and proper boundaries for yourself.

   You are giving her the reigns on your own life. While relationships require compromise and negotiation, they also require that you don't act in ways that build resentment. And when you negotiate, you need to actually advocate for yourself and be vulnerable.

   Resentment is building in large part due to your failure to say “no” when you want to say “no”.

   My best advice is to 100% stop saying “yes” when you want to say “no”. A sense of obligation is not a sufficient reason to ignore and neglect your own needs and go along with the decision of others.

   This is your wife and you two are in it for the long haul. Which means a few things.

   you have a long time to rebuild and regain trust from her family. It will not happen by simply attending reunions and using all of your free time with them. I promise. It'll be a process and that process does not require you to consistently put yourself in a position that you don't want to be in. You are responsible for maintaining a healthy dynamic. Which means that whenever you agree to something that brings up feelings of resentment, you're sabotaging the relationship in the long term. it might make her happy in the short term, but if it's causing you to feel drained and resentful then you are not actually acting in a way that strengthens the relationship. Are you being as vulnerable with her as you are in this post? You share a lot of trauma and feelings in your post which really makes it easy to empathize with you. However, if you're just telling him that you don't want to do things or are not fully communicating your feelings, she might not understand where you're coming from and why you feel the way you do. My advice is to really open up to her, be candid, share your feelings, ask for her patience and understanding, and let her know how you feel by putting yourself in situations that you don't want to be in. If you can be candid and vulnerable with her, I think you have a much better chance of reaching a compromise and getting some compassion on her end.

   Overall it sounds like you really need to work on asserting firm boundaries, and kindly and lovingly being in control and having the final say on your life decisions (every time you defer responsibility to her and give her the final say, it's disempowering you and making you grow resentful which ultimately hurts the relationship- and this is actually on you even though she's being persuasive. It's up to you to advocate for yourself and draw boundaries as needed). Additionally, communication and vulnerability are key. It sounds like you have a lot to process and asking for love and support and being clear about how she can show that to you will go a long way and can genuinely save your relationship.

   Wishing you the best.

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