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Reality check; she doesn't care about your feelings. She only cares about her needs, and is manipulating you into being OK with it so she can keep you around as her emotional caretaker.
She's proposing bringing people into your bedroom where she already has past sexual history. She is also extremely disrespectful of your boundaries, and is using your own insecurities against you to get what she wants. If you fold now, she'll take advantage of you for the rest of your relationship
Take a hard-line stance; be honest about your boundaries, that you were never really into the idea of bringing another guy into the bedroom but were proceeding forward to try to keep her happy, and you now realize that violating your own personal boundaries for her sexual gratification is not something you can support. If she wants to do it, she's welcome to. Just not as your girlfriend.
I see what you’re saying, but I have to disagree with you there Chief. If he’s saying things about his wife such as ”She’s extremely kind and loving. She’s not evil in any way” after she’s been cheating on him for god knows how long, then he needs to get downvoted. Not because we don’t have empathy, but because he’s clearly in denial and the downvotes might help him realize that he’s not thinking rationally. Tough situation no doubt.