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I didn't see the OP, and I don't know if you have children, but your husband and his friends are severely underestimating how disruptive a new baby is going to be to your life. To ask you to do that for “below mqrk3t value” and likely eventually free when they want you to babysit, nevermind the child eventually getting into everything. Very hot fucking pass from me, dawg.
Oh wow the “don't ask me what service it is, wink, nudge” troll is back, everyone!
It's a troll, guys
You met my dad? (my parents also divorced at 19, and I seldom get to use it as a source for jokes, so I jump on any chance I get)
This is ridiculous. Why put on a facade to online outside your means?
Does he have social media? Are there pictures of the two of you? Is it made clear that he’s in a relationship? Can you stop by his work?
Sit him down for a final talk on the matter. Sincerely apologize and say how you were wrong. Reassure him that you love him and are happy in the relationship. Listen to him when he speaks. Then I'd give him some space to calm down and think and decide if he can forgive you. I don't think the relationship can exist in this limbo state where he doesn't talk to you, so eventually someone will have to pull the plug if you can't overcome this.
btw, I think sex 3x a week is more than average!
Good advice thanks!
Hey friendly reminder that strippers being promiscuous is a stereotype. Myself and other monogamous married women were strippers years ago and never even kissed patrons.
Having these things (friends and band) tie you together doesn't mean you have to let him treat you however he wants. You're entitled to be treated with respect regardless of how upset he is about his family. Set boundaries or let him treat you like garbage. It's your choice.
It's impossible for us to know this–he could be really excited & inexperienced or it might be creepy–literally no way to know. You did draw a boundary and he responded appropriately, so that was good.
He was married 15 years. Stated when we first started dating he wasn't ready to be in a relationship but kept pushing me towards that end anyway. We end up living together and being happily committed. Then when things got very hot he pulled away.
This is a really well stated summary of your feelings and I think if you explain it as succinctly and honestly as you are now he might understand where you’re coming from. People have differences in opinions and attitudes and you should be allowed to address things you disagree with or that don’t make sense to you. I hope you’re able to work this out!!
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>I have no money and the man that I love more than anyone else is leaving me.
But he doesn't love you, and to be honest…i doubt you love him as well. its 3 1/2 months into this dysfunctional relationship and the way you write of how you behaved i would say you're not ready for a relationship before you get some therapy for your own issues. No one can be a good partner if they're not aware and/or working of their own issues.
If you have the plane ticket now, then get an uber or whatever to the airport. Or call your countrys consulate/embassy maybe they have some viable suggestions for you. learn from this. Dont let yourself get trapped in a different country after suuuuuch a short time. Or ever.
Then he doesn't love you as much as you think he does.
As someone whose father skipped out on child support, I would want my mom to have it because she has already spent it out of pocket while I was growing up. Unless your daughter paid for some of her basic necessities growing up, I would consider it your money.
This is tough because that viewpoint isn't going to jive with how she sees it. If you do stop giving it to her, your delivery is very important. At her age, I wasted a lot of money on useless stuff and really regret it now so you could help her avoid that. However, she's not going to like it.
Renting is far too expensive and wouldn’t be able to save anything. How would one person buying the house make it better? Even if one bought the house and the other paid bills etc each are still contributing to the house.
Charlie Kelly and Frank Reynolds? ?
Is this a bot? What purpose could this possibly serve…
Cam here to say this. You deserve better, OP. You at minimum deserve a huge apology for how he reacted to your disclosure.
Absolutely, happy to have helped! I hope it goes well with your girlfriend and that you can remain friendly, if not friends. Just because relationships end doesn’t mean they all need to be burned to the ground. You seem like a great guy, you’ll do well out there. Best of luck!
I highly doubt it'll just be a few months. Your sister is going to have to learn how to function as an adult without someone doing everything for her. That includes breaking bad habits.
It's more likely to take a year or more. I don't really blame your girlfriend for not wanting to teach an adult how to be an adult, for much longer than a few months.
You do what you want/need to do. Your girlfriend isn't required to go along with you, though. Sit down and have a talk with your girlfriend, and really listen to what she says, and then talk with your sister about ground rules, maybe you guys can find a compromise.
Sounds like its done. You seem like you're always gonna have that voice in the back of your head telling you more happened than what she claimed and that will only grow into resentment as it already has in the form of asking her over and over again what happened. I don't blame you, its a terrible spot to be in but it also sounds like she was sexually assaulted and is probably more broken up about it then she shows. Atleast thats what it sounds like with the info provided.
I’d definitely like more clarity on the education bit. That could mean anything from wanting someone to expand their worldview to perhaps develop a bit more empathy, to thinking he’s just a dummy for not having a piece of paper. It’s a broad scope. I also have a bit of empathy for her.
My family is mostly made up of caring, good individuals. Some of whom unfortunately racist af views to people darker than us (we aren’t even white). I’m wondering if some of the people calling her an intolerant snob even have any idea how frustrating it is hearing people you love say gross racist shit all the time.
Your sister knew of your mom's responsibilities prior to deciding to have a baby so she's not entitled to now complain about it. First time parents often have unrealistic expectations about the whole world prioritizing their child the way they do. Fortunately if your sister has planned her life correctly she's got a partner/coparent with their own family to help her out. Don't let her make you feel guilty about this. You didn't force her to become a parent.
this guy has a GF. good guys dont. smh.
100%
I have friends and family that I can joke around with, even call them “offensive” names… I refer to my best friend as a bitch and she calls me a skank. But not all the time and we certainly appreciate each other and know that we are kidding. If either of us were to ever say we were uncomfortable with it or e don't appreciate the 'joke', we would stop.
If you want to give him a chance (not that I would), you should tell him exactly this, and if he cannot respect that and feels that his joke supersedes your comfort, and refuses to apologize, then you know where you stand with him.
As a single guy, if I ever did what your boyfriend did, I would have been dumped in an instant and potentially slapped in the face. Tbh, you should definitely leave him.
This is reddit. Everyone who has a slight legitimate concern is racist didn't you know? This sub is a cesspool of ignorant self righteous douchebags.
Inertia happens organically.
Great relationships happen when you put the effort in to have fun together so that it never feels like effort.
No, I mean sliding around on ice hitting a thing at a net.
The comment about “this man I've loved for 15 years” tells me she definitely HAS romanticized it – it sounds like when they were younger they were just FWB and then didn't talk for 10 years. He's been into her and dating her for maybe 2-3 years and she's been in love with him (or more likely, the IDEA of him) for 15 so it's definitely possible she's much more invested in this.
They both were idiots – her for thinking he didn't really mean he'd want her to abort or would change his mind, and him for not insisting on protection knowing he didn't want to be a father. I'm a woman so any pregnancy's outcome will always ultimately be my choice but I absolutely have serious discussions with partners and make sure they agree with the abortion plan. (I also use effective BC because while I would have an abortion if necessary, I hope to never have to make that choice). It would be totally understandable for a male partner to feel pissed and betrayed and mislead if after discussing that we would terminate if I decided to keep the baby. Doesn't mean they can force me to get one but it would suck for them.
Thank you, I agree. Hope she agrees as well
Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes the resentment on their end can build up a lot. It doesn’t help it was because of an ex because that can build their insecurity as well.
Why were her toes even showing?! How did you allow a woman to even play a video game? Why was a male relative even in the same room as your girlfriend?!
You should involve her family so they can stone her for allowing her toes to slightly touch another person.
Drugs. Im thinking very hot drugs. Thats why the door HAS to be shut.
Theres something very fishy going on here.
My friend go back and re read everything you said and look back on why she is taking a break. You are trying to make yourself into a problem so you can try to fix it and get her back you need to stop the what ifs, you are going to make yourself go insane. When people ask for a break 99% of the time the relationship is over, you are not the issue my friend, sometimes love doesn’t last forever with said person you have to let go
Your sibling is 20. Why would an adult be cut off from you if you cut your parents off? Is he special needs and not considered mentally able to make decisions for himself?
Can you confirm it's not someone else looking to get I'm dragged/ fuck up his relationship with you?
My photos were once used on dating apps without my permission including dating apps I would never use as they do not cater to my sexuality.
Were the texts flirty? Sexual?
Do you have any indication that this is more than a close friendship? Because you haven't listed any here. He has a close friend. They talk a regular amount for close friends. That's all I'm getting from this.
There is a lot of lonely men out there that would give up their right arm to have the life this asshat had. And all he can do is say maybe it isn’t enough because people online to be 80?? This clown takes his blessings in life for granted.
Yeah, it's a
If your future MIL won't change her mind, have all of your friends/relatives make comments near her about how tacky it is for her to wear white at her DIL's wedding and how sad it is tfor her to try and upstage her new DIL. Or I would ask your fiance if his mother hated you that much to do this to her? She is either a narcissist, doesn't like you, or is clueless about wedding etiquette. You need to find out which one it is first and then deal with it.
You keep telling us what you're not going to do.
So then what ARE you going to do? There's no genie here to magically grant you a wish.
Sometimes we have to make very hot decisions. If you cannot accept him going on a vacation where is is also there, and he can't turn down the opportunity to go on it, the path is pretty clear. Tbh even if he doesn't go at this point, he will probably resent not being able to go, because to him he knows he won't cheat and doesn't see why he can't go with his other friends.
It is what it is.
yeah, this is probably what I was going to do unless someone on here gave me a really good reason to talk about it. Thanks for the help!
First, I understand why you're posting here. I don't think you're being stupid.
I don't think you should give her the gift.
I also don't think you should immediately switch to being friends. You can be friends in the future, but right now you're both grieving the loss of this romantic relationship.
If you have reason to believe you and your ex will be able to establish a platonic relationship in the future, then keep the earrings for a future birthday. Otherwise, you may want to try selling them to recoup some of the expense.
I do agree you should not gift them to someone else.
First, I understand why you're posting here. I don't think you're being stupid.
I don't think you should give her the gift.
I also don't think you should immediately switch to being friends. You can be friends in the future, but right now you're both grieving the loss of this romantic relationship.
If you have reason to believe you and your ex will be able to establish a platonic relationship in the future, then keep the earrings for a future birthday. Otherwise, you may want to try selling them to recoup some of the expense.
I do agree you should not gift them to someone else.
The red flag is not that your boyfriend looks at women with big boobs on the internet. The red flag is you in thinking that it is okay to violate his privacy. You didn't “accidentally” snoop, you did it on purpose.
It was just a joke but you can break up with someone for whatever reason you want. Most 23 year young women aren't interested in teenagers, so she sounds off anyway.
thought i try
Dude. End this. You and your daughter deserve better. Get with an attorney to figure out the best path to full custody asap.