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I don’t think you realize how disgusting you sound. You can work on getting over someone who hurt you without being a prick about them.
So it wasn't even a one off drunken mistake, she did it for a longer period of times, several times? And she wouldn't even have told you if the guy didn't force her hand?
I say don't marry this one.
Career over love. Secure your future first.
Career over love. Secure your future first.
Bc your boyfriend is a racist and antisemitic.
Look i will give you my honest advice in hopes of not getting banned: People are weird, women especially so. Who knows maybe she was on her period. Maybe its one of these women moments where they are looking for a fight because there is a deeper issue at hand – you moving in together etc.
I think you need to calm down about this especially if your long distance relationship is coming to an end soon. There are many plausible scenarios that i can think of which justify her actions. For instance, she might have been too tired to talk on the phone with you, but then an hour later she could have gotten a text from her friends that she has not seen in a while. Maybe she got energized from that or did not feel like being able to say no to it.
What I meant with communication problem is not that you did not bring up the issue, but that you are not communicating it poperly. As far as i can tell, your problem is not that she hung out with her friends but that she appears to be dishonest towards you (and did not call a rain check). What she got tho was that you do not approve of her hanging out with her friends. She failed to communicate the reason why she “lied” to you, and you seem to have failed to communicate to her what the real reason is why you are upset.
It actually happened. I’m concerned. That’s why I made a post.
I don’t think he can control it, I’m not sure. Sometimes it just shifts to another one suddenly but ig they are aware that they make part of a system
Hey. I just want to start off by saying, having insecurities and doubts every so often, is pretty normal and all people experience this from time to time.
With that being said, if these thoughts persist and are way more or way more often than you feel is healthy, then it might be because of something that happened. Big and sudden changes in either your or your SO's life can cause people to experience doubt or insecurity to a greater degree.
I think identifying where these feelings stem from(insecurity due to past trauma or breakups, etc) can be a very effective way in dealing with it.
Something to consider as well is going to your SO and just vent a bit. Explain to them that you've been feeling these things lately and not cus of any fault of them. You just feel a little unsure and ask them if they might have an idea why you might be feeling this way. That allows them to know where you are at mentally and allows for the both of you to go on the journey together.
This has the potential to act as a double remedy. Firstly, you and your SO work together, showing you, beyond a reasonable doubt that they are willing to do this with you, thus helping quell the intrusive thoughts. And secondly, it allows your SO to better understand your needs. Which in turn helps them support you in the way that is most effective to your specific needs.
I do want to finish off by saying, if these thought and feelings persist, I would recommend seeing a professional to help you in understanding why they are there and how you can overcome them.
I hope this helps. Much love.
33 years old and still throwing around shame about masturbation like it's a no-no. What an absolute waste of the term 'man'.
If he can't handle a little masturbation, he's not mature enough for a relationship. If my DH catches me the ONLY thing he ever says is “Have fun! Don't go blind!” and -without trying to say every relationship needs to be like mine-, that's how it should be if there's any comment to be made at all.
I'm not a telepath but it's entirely possible that he's serious. Open relationships exist, some people are happy in them. My wife's ex girlfriend was married when they met. Still is, as far as I know.
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“Friends”… lol
This sounds so much like OCD. Even the things you focus on point to psychiatric and not a legitimate medical issue. The guys I work with probably have at least a century on fire departments between them and not one of them has these issues. Heck, almost all of them are smokers. Do you have a specific diagnosis for this? Or is it all self-identified “sensitivities”?
I like my job too, but being able to manage your time how you want would be amazing. I’d finish school because that’s been a dream of mine and I’m 1/2 way there, but that just pursuing personal passions, which the money would allow me to do full time.
Bro you’re a full blown junkie now. Get some therapy.
That is creepy….The girl is 18 not 13….I would say something to the girl if you like her. To the mom also.
You already showed favoritism by kicking her out of her bedroom.
Yeah I agree, if I end up “giving in” too many times. I feel shit, and I end up hating my partner. Funny thing is I’ve only ever felt like I have to “give in” when the sex in the first place is very one sided (aka it’s not for my pleasure)
Yeah, this part is genuinely odd. Maybe normal for people much younger, super strange for grown adults.
Not to mention, I sure as shit am not accepting “I don't know” when I ask why they called 8 times.
Convos about marriage stress. It’s just the accumulation of small things, so he doesn’t get why I feel it’s important. Haven’t even broached marriage counseling yet.
I’m really asking you nicely, OP, to have a standard, just one, and dump this shithead.
Also, he said they’re currently going through housing issues but it’s “nothing new.” As a naturally anxious person, taking a half-day of work off means less money and a harder chance of resolving the issue.
Plus, you talked to my boss behind my back. Not as cute as some people might think.
He physically won’t let you leave and he’ll break into the bathroom? Hon, this is above Reddit’s pay grade. You need a domestic violence escape plan. The most dangerous time is when you leave.
Wtf if I had a sister that behaved like that, she'd be toast, sister/best friends of any worth don't pull the sort of shit she did
Decor is at the bottom of the list on things hot to compromise for 2 people living together. At least OP sees what a selfish ass he would be to online with it.
That's not alcoholism. That's binge drinking.
Yeah, I feel this post belongs on /r/thatHappened/
Oh. Shit. Did you try offering her a chance to look through everything? Any device, any account, cell phone carrier records, messages, etc.?
I understand that it looked bad, and she genuinely believes something happened. But I hope she's willing to reconsider about ending her whole fucking marriage over two faceless text messages. Holy fuck.
That's true. He hasn't tried to contact me and he had a good long while to do so before I found out. He's always been bi, we both are, so that part wasn't an issue
At least I know I didn't misread it ?
She went from being a gorgeous, vivacious, intelligent, wisecracking fun loving woman to “managing playmates for her block and ITS SO MUCH WORK OMG”.
Barf.
Sounds like she enjoys being a mom. Just because she isn't doing what she use to do. Doesn't mean she still isn't those things. This is just a nasty attitude and clearly she wasn't in a place to fe comfortable leaving them. I don't blame you guys for not being friends….but to act like she is less then because she is “just a mom” now is fairly disgusting. It simply sounds like she grew up and decided to embrace motherhood rather then view it as a burden.
She sounds awful. Why continue the relationship? You sound fab and I'm sure there are much better partners out there for you.
Isn't it wild how not trying to date high schoolers as a working adult completely erases this entire problem from existing
Absolutely! You are always welcome there.
Why
This is not normal in any way. If you have talked to him and he isn’t changing he is not respecting you at all and continues to hurt you. My husband is almost a foot taller than me and quite muscular and he has never hurt me. It sounds like your bf gets off on causing you pain. You deserve so much better. You’ve already talked to him and he hasn’t changed and he never will. Please walk away. Actually I mean RUN
There's no info provided that would lead anyone here to recommend any course of action other than “Leave. Immediately. Why are you doing this to yourself. Choose better.”
I am also a Personal Assistant to my director. And never in my life, would I think of jump hugging him or inviting him over to my place for “work” purposes.
Youth! I could do the same (even less sleep) back in the day. Oh to be 30 or younger again!