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Model from: de
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it's good that he's being sincere. if he ever makes a comment about your looks or has made some before, then I would argue this is negging. an intentional tactic to lower self esteem so you work hard to 'keep him'. does he talk about how attractive other women are, mention how many girls give him attention or give you back handed compliments? those are all signs that he's being manipulative.
And do you do the same that you expect of her or do you just want her to worship you? Either way this sounds really unhealthy, there's love and then there's obsession and the age difference makes it sound even worse
Bro she cheated. She was disloyal to you and your relationship! Just drop her. Marrying her would be a big mistake, more trouble than she’s worth
I would tell him to go to hell.
It seems like she gave you a really lengthy well thought out answer and your response was “hahahah, puppy eyes, boobs”.
Are you surrreee it’s only FWB and wasn’t encroaching on something more?
That’s why I’m here lol
I just don't want to believe we live in a world where that is possible
This was the worst part for me:
Apparently there were a couple other people that could have been the dad
This situation involves all three of you. That means that how you feel about it matters and it’s not just about them. So if you’re feeling hurt and betrayed then obviously this relationship isn’t what it once was. You should feel safe, noticed, and respected in any relationship. Maybe he’s no longer someone you should be with anymore if you feel unhappy. Don’t go along with it if you’re feeling miserable. It’s not worth it nor would it be good for your mental health.
Good luck!
Good luck!
didn't even see that lol still fucked if true
Why? Because of something that small? She wasn’t even complaining about it. Maybe here husband should leave because his wife is so needy or some stupid reason. Yeah just don’t get married, you are a bad partner.
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I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being interested, but you should only pursue after a break up. It sounds like it’s only a matter of time until she breaks up with her boyfriend.
If you think you guys are a good match and want to move things along maybe confront her lightly about it. Ask what’s up with her interest in you, what’s happening with her boyfriend, how long they have dated, etc.
It could just be a relationship that’s dead in the water and she’s looking to move on, ya never know.
I mean, I understand his insecurity after seeing you flirt with other people and also you trying to break up with him. It seems like now he feels like you would prefer someone else because even though you say one thing, your actions have showed otherwise. I honestly don’t know if you can prove to him otherwise, this honestly would be too much for me in a relationship and I would personally end things.
Also, your friends are shitty and not really your friends if they’re telling you that he’s too attractive for you.
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Your vagina isn’t supposed to smell like fruit. It’s supposed to smell like what it is. A muscle. It’s a body part. He’s getting grossed out over discharge? And making you feel like there’s something wrong with NATURAL things happening to your body? That’s not okay
This was NOT rape. He consented so she would quit bothering him. He could have easily left the room.
His girlfriend may be a bitch. She may be too forward. She may be a creep. But she’s not a rapist based on this situation.
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Beg pardon, Op?
Are you saying you are considering getting pregnant at the age of 20 years old by a 35 year old man and your parents have not met him yet?! What the he!!
Whose bright idea was it to get pregnant without your parents not even meeting your “boyfriend”? Lol.
If it was your idea to get pregnant before your parents even get to meet my 35 YEAR OLD boyfriend Imma take a guess that you are thinking, Once I'm pregnant, the deal is done and they can't argue or try to make me see sense.
If it's his idea, it's basically the same. I'm a 35 year old man messing around with a still-wet-behind-the ears TWENTY YEAR but if I knock her up, they will have no choice than to accept me.
Either way, you will be setting it up so your parents will be cranky and upset from the get go.
(Btw, Op? There's a distinct reason a 35 year old is dating and considering impregnating a 20 year old.)
We just use that language here a lot But I do think he meant it as weak. Also I was pressing him. I’ve asked him today if he meant it he said no was heat of moment but it’s still hard to know….
You aren’t obligated to stay in a relationship you aren’t happy in to protect someone else. As hard as it might feel, her mental health issues aren’t your responsibility, and you can’t fix them for her – that’s something she has to do (with the support of others, sure, but that doesn’t have to be you). Hopefully she has other people in her life to support her through this difficult time, but if you no longer want to be in a relationship with her, the best thing to do is clearly and kindly end things.
First heartbreak is difficult, that's just a fact of life.
The best advice I can give is to throw yourself into all the activities you can. Join any club that sounds mildly interesting. Explore the city. Make new friends! You'll grow and change so much over the next year that the person who was smitten with him will seem like a stranger.
Take this as a lesson: any guy willing to cheat on their SO with you is bad news and show be avoided.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU OMG SHE LITERALLY ALMOST DIED FOR YOU AND CARRYING UR BABY AND YOU RETALIATE BY CHEATING
Everyone’s acting like this is a terrible thing. Do you think it’s linked to your bipolar disorder?? If not, maybe you just really love your husband.. it’s cute
Why on earth would inheriting the business be contingent on their middle name? I find that hard to believe.
Beyond this one issue, I'd be concerned that his family's ten million traditions will be expected to override your opinions. What else will you be expected to agree to because “that's how my family does it”?
He has never ever come onto them or anything, they would have told me. It definitely is something that I just have to learn not to take so personal. It’ll take some time I know but I need to find some sort of healthy outlet to make myself feel more confident, like what you suggested with the pole dancing! Also, I gotta stop depending on him for my happiness and self-esteem issues. It obviously doesnt hurt to have him think I’m attractive, but I have to be able to see that in myself also! Thank you
Dude, in another comment, she literally states her age and that she's living with someone who wants her to get a job to pay off her debt. Let's repeat that for the audiences in the back: HER PARTNER WANTS HER TO PAY OFF HER DEBT AND SHE THINKS IT'S HIS FUCKING JOB TO DO IT FOR HER!!! Wtf is wrong with this girl?
You haven't specified how you are incompatible. This sounds more like a “should we date exclusively again” post.
As to how to stop/avoid feelings? Walk away. Tell him he's too great to just be fwb and that you can't continue as that. There is a chance if you phase it right or wrong (depending on perspective) he might ask for exclusivity and ask you to move in.
Love languages are toxic!
You really need to think this over. It seems like he's the sort that wants you to do everything and do it all now. How's this going to work when you are building a home together, or have children? Are you going to be happy doing all the work while he plays taskmaster?
Not a fixer upper but I just feel like we all were at some point lacking knowledge with how to participate in a household. I think his family never really involved him and didn’t want to punish him for the bad upbringing
You didn't cheat, you didn't actively participate or consent, that guy was being a huge creep and you deserve better friends
I hope the police saw what he did. If not, ask the ER doctor to call the police and file a police report. Do NOT wait on this. Personaly, I'd get an RO and file assault charges. He needs a wake up call and criminal prosecution might be the only way to get that.
When you are out of the ER, stay with a friend for a night or two and arrange movers. Ask the police for an escort while you move out – have the movers move everything into storage while you figure out living arrangements long term but at least you can sever physical ties.
And, file a restraining order. Star far far away from him. It is NOT your job to help him process his grief. It is your job to go to therapy to process your grief and the trauma he put you through.
I am so very very sorry you are going through all of this.
Stop driving him places?
Backseat drivers are dangers and distracted.
Considering ops overall attitude I'd say this is the straw that broke the camel's back, hence the daughter burning bridges so throughly
Thanks for replying. I guess we will see this week how things go!
Also, i don’t text her all the time, maybe one every few days just to see how she’s doing. I don’t want to bombard her. Is that enough to keep her interested until I get to know her more?