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If you think she's depressed, I just wanna juno back to something you said in your initial post: that she could be doing the same things as you.
If she's struggling with depression, that's just not true. She may not have the energy or mental capacity to stretch herself in that way. And even though you haven't said those words to her, you have to know she feels it anyway. She's feeling judged. And I'm NOT saying that's what you're doing or that that is your intention because reading your comments, it doesn't seem like that's the case. I just want you to understand one of the barriers she might be facing.
That said- does it have to be your wife who validates you? It certainly helps when your person is all about your progress, but when you're with someone for a long time, it's totally understandable when you're not always in perfect sync. Maybe this is one of those things that you get an external buddy to help keep you motivated- someone who is on a similar journey and won't mind being accountability partners with you.
You can tell your wife you'd like her support and say your peice, but also understand that, just like in your case, change often doesn't happen until something else happens to make you uncomfortable enough with your situation to change. For you it was hypertension. For her, the behavior to change isn't the working out for you, its the support of your journey.
Tell her you still love her, find her beautiful, don't want her to change a thing about herself unless its something she wants you just want to share your milestones and progress with her because you're proud of yourself and what you've accomplished and that's what you do with loved ones when you have something you're proud of- you share it.
Drop the judgment about what she could be doing and tell her you want her support and all should be fine.
She’s 22 and is going to act like it . Either be ok with her pulling this crap ( because that’s what they do) or cut her loose. You should not have to parent her. It’s not really that she’s a bad person. She’s just really young.