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Obligated is a strong word I think. Doing something for your partner that you don't feel like doing because you want to is different. You shouldn't feel forced.
Does she belong to any groups? Go to church? She needs to meet some other people. There are groups she could get involved with. I don't know if she is a senior but there are a lot of senior groups available that arrange outings.
she didn’t want to be alone, so she communicated that by… enclosing herself in a room for two hours and saying nothing? yea he should have checked on her. but ffs, she’s clearly stated “he’s not very good at consoling me SO I DONT GO TO HIM MOST OF THE TIME” like do you want his fucking support or not. be an adult and use your fucking words. also im getting the vibe you think i’m a man… i am very much a female.
and she doesn't deserve OP either, and probably has an ugly ski-slope nose!
Super Rape culture vibes.
Girls should be able to wear whatever they want, party whenever they want… is it too much to ask to not get fucking raped?
Go to an attorney, take as much money from a joint account as you have start preparing to online on your own and frankly, if you want to I would think about getting child custody of your son. So talk to an attorney get your financial house in order. I would do that, for you confront her she already knows about the other confrontations, but I would gather evidence all the evidence that would help you in a divorce proceeding.
I know he has been having some frustrations with his immediate family lately, and I’ve been trying to keep that in mind. But at the same time, it’s kind of hard to be understanding because as a person, I am too nice. I’ve been told this, and I know this. So I’m trying to yes be understanding, but also to not be a doormat and pretend that everything’s great.
I don’t know. I’ll talk to him tonight.
You have intuition and a gut instinct. It told you to pack and go because you already spotted the red flags.
I would not regret this decision at all. He was not your person.
He asked you to take care of dinner, which if I understand correctly, you didn't. Then you ate his dinner. Now you absolutely are making it about his reaction. Two comments in I see you bringing up your ADHD. Your ADHD doesn't matter, you're responsible for how you act.
He didn't stomp around all night clattering his plate, that's ridiculous. He was upset and you felt uncomfortable all night, but it sounds like you did little to fix it. If I understand correctly, you just offered to buy him a sandwich tomorrow. If you're hungry now, a sandwich tomorrow doesn't really help does it?
Did you offer to make him something or go pick something up at any point? Did your ADHD prevent that somehow?
Deal with this problem. Fix this thing with him. Then after it's burried if you want to talk to him about how he reacts in general to things, do that. But not when you're fighting about something else. Thats a toxic tactic that won't get you anywhere.
When you do bring it up, avoid phrasing things in absolute terms. You “always” do this, or “every time” xyz happens you do this. Don't blame your ADHD, you are who you are and you don't get a doctor's note to be an asshole.
This is a situation that professional treatment is the best course of action. Occasionally when in a comfort zone is normal but it appears to have progressed to an obsession to be worked out through therapy. Have a talk with him about your feelings and ask that he gets help to return to healthy levels.
Yes…tell her. Life’s not over…instead of raising kids you’ll go on kick ass vacations.
well, the only thing i can say without potentially having my post removed is— it involved shaving. and yeah— i agree
Are you serious right now? He spit on you, knowing you don’t like it and quite obviously ignoring you telling him so and now YOU want to cry because he’s disrespectful AF and having a tantrum because you dared to stand up for yourself??? He’s the piece of shit here and it sounds like you need therapy.
In the state I divorced, alimony is only awarded if the person is mentally or physically incapable of working. That or if they have a child with special needs.