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please for you kids don't stay with this woman. I was raised by a woman who had this attitude and it was a traumatic experience. She treated my stepbrother like gold and verbally abused me pretty much constantly. My relationship with my father is permanantly damaged because I'll never be comfortable around him due to him allowing my stepmother to make my life an utter hell for 6 years.
it will only get worse. My stepmother tolerated my sister and I when her and my dad were dating. just tolerated, even then you could tell she wasn't happy about it. then once they married she became constantly verbally abusive, and would come down on us super very hot for every minor mistake we made. The thing is, she could never see us as individuals, to her we were a reminder that my father was married to another woman and had children with her.
Your gf has already stated that she feels the same way. Choose your kids over her, please.
Yes I think like most of people agreeing I'm 26 M and when you love someone you won't look to someone else
All depends on the person who cheated, if the changed and grew to be a better person, then I see why not. Also, depends on the one who was cheated on, do they still hold resentment for what happened.
It's called working under the table and plenty of people do it. She needs to be able to provide for herself at the very least should OP actually stop supporting her.
You’re welcome
Hi I'm a woman, always have been. Your wife is showing this guy that she is available for something more if and when he wants. He just needs to take her up on it, which he's not doing as he seems committed to his marriage.
Please tell her to end the friendship, whether the texts are innocent or not is beside the point. The point is that you are feeling resentful and insecure in your marriage with your wife over it. If she values your marriage she will forego the friendship. There is no friendship so important to me that I will allow it to cost me my marriage, and if my husband came to me about this I, as a woman, would immediately drop the friend, or temper my communications with said friend.
This is NOT you being controlling – you are not trying to isolate her from her friend group or family. You are not telling her she can't be friends with any males. All you are saying is that this particular friendship, even if the texts are innocent, is making you deeply uncomfortable to the point that it could negatively affect your marriage and you would prefer that she, as your wife, do all in her power to help negate that. If she doesn't hear you out on this, she doesn't value your marriage.
youre a misogynist. you hate when women manipulate using tears? you think that all women can cry on command? misogynist attitude.
You're too young to put up with this nonsense.
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The germophobia was there since the beginning (thanks Covid), but it didn't affect our sex life first, but only in May when we started to have sex again after 7 months. I don't about the OCD, she does not seem to be compulsive about other things, but I don't know enough about the subject to tell this.
My God you guys are thicker than rocks. I did not encourage this guy or say what he did is right! I simply said that this is a way to meet people for more than customer relationships if it happens that way. Infact I told him it's not right.
i said what i said cause you said “which is it.” it’s both. 2 things can be true at once
Why did you tell him you forgive him when you so obviously haven’t?
At the moment, there’s nothing to be done. He lied to you & he extended his work trip with another woman. It doesn’t look good, but you’ll have to see what he says when he gets back.
Having worked in high end places, I've seen worse, but it's worth a discussion. I'd bring it up casually and not right before or after a dinner. Maybe even Google etiquette articles and pull the old “hey look at this article I found about food sharing habits…” or be blunt and tell him that you've noticed some of the things he does makes your dining companions uncomfortable, and maybe he needs to tone it down a little. Honestly nit sharing food/utensils should be common sense at this point with well…everything.
He will probably be embarrassed at first, but we all have to learn at some point, and I'm sure he'd rather know now than find out later and think no one respected him enough to stop him from acting a fool.
As far as tweaking the menu though, for those prices, it's always worth calling ahead or at least asking, worst they can say is no. Yes there's etiquette, but hospitality workers are in the business of pleasing guests, so I'd focus more on his grill using/food sharing habits.
That’s fair. Thank you for telling me from a third person perspective. I have been acting mean towards her since it happened and ive since ruined our relationship.
? the come to Jesus is a little much. I’m not against nor bashing her for her dancing. We have two different mindsets and that’s ok. It’s ok and normal to have the insecurities but if you love someone and you haven’t acted on it then? Glad you have a husband that approves!
Your feelings are absolutely valid but don’t throw your relationship away because of this. If she really is and has been a good partner all these years, I’d say forgive her. It will take time and work for you both to rebuild the trust, but I’d say it’s worth it.
I think you would benefit from therapy. Nothing about this relationship sounds healthy
Consider your relationship over or at best your husband won't trust you if he finds out about it. That's how serious this is… you now know what kind of person your BIL is… your husband deserves to know.
Very well said.
That's fair. I still think he should tell me if he doesn't want to talk about it. I view interrupting as rude when he could communicate it.
It's actually catsup.
I bet she’s already planned to not go at that exact time anymore. That’s what I would do. It’s the safest way out if that situation
Thanks for your comments. It's very hot to describe, but it's not really a deadline it's more of a “I hoped I would be married by this age” but obviously that time has been and gone. I just wanted to know from him if we were close, but it just doesn't feel that way, it's naked hearing your boyfriend still has reservations after 8 years. And I cant wait around forever to decide when he's finally happy with me.
I am working on my weight, but I really don't need this pressure from my bf to lose it. He needs to accept I may be like this forever (I don't intend to) and he needs to leave if he can't. Yet he won't and goes along (buying houses, getting pets together) like everything is fine.
? Probably looking for a relationship. But why does it matter that much what they were doing before you met them?
I guess it’s just a silly crush I have and I know it won’t go anywhere I just never had a crush on someone in an open relationship before
What if her actions had resulted in injury to your daughter? What if instead of throwing something she had stabbed or shot the (not adult sized) lump under the covers?
Would you continue excusing her behavior then?
I didn't say that. Careful jumping that far, you might pull a muscle.