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So call it shut?
Don’t get married. You’ll regret it til the day you die.
Your boyfriend breached your privacy and hurt himself and your relationship in the process.
The fact you were dating for a month and he thought it was okay to go through your phone is a HUGE red flag.
No one likes the thought of going on a date with someone and them still seeing other people or sleeping with someone else, but you were not exclusive and not obligated to not sleep with your friend's brother. He shouldn't have dug for answers he didn't want to know.
You haven't done anything wrong. Leave your boyfriend because he is bad news.
Block him
When doing dating and relationships, broken hearts are unavoidable. Disagreements are bound to happen in any relationship and things can be fixed, solved, or compromised upon but constant fights is not good. If you're not happy and he's not happy, then it's time you two sit down and talk. You can say something along the lines of:
“We had a good start and the relationship was going but all we do now is fight and argue nonstop. I think it's best we go our separate ways. Learn from this relationship and grow as individuals for whoever our future partner may be. I will always cherish the great, fun memories we had. So, let's just end this relationship on a high note and agree this relationship is no longer working for either of us. I wish the best for you in finding happiness and I hope you will wish the best for me. Thank you for being the best possible boyfriend you can be!”
Anyway, how he chooses to handle the break-up is on him. You can only spare so many feelings at once. Everything else is on him. You don't have to bear the full responsibility. Break-ups hurt but he'll eventually move on and heal.
She obviously doesn't want to do family events so stop asking her and why even get mad when she doesn't want to? She probably lies in the first place because like most people she doesn't want to give the real reason which is that she just doesn't like to go.
Yeah, I get it. I don’t ha ve a family so I don’t know about family traditions. And I don’t feel comfortable asking, you know? They didn’t invite me and I’m ok with that
He had an apartment in the city, but left the city and moved back in with his parents during COVID. He commutes 2 hours to work everyday and is applying to grad school right now so doesn't want to move out yet because of the uncertainty of where he'll end up in the coming months
I’m not really sure what you need from Reddit
Admit you’re emotionally abusive and get some therapy. Sleeping with people that you know are looking for a relationship without stating that you are ONLY interested in sex is coercion.
I haven't read anything this trashy In awhile,congratulations ? u both need to get it together for this poor babies sake
You are in a tough spot.
Either: They are a clique . They see you as an outsider and it seems like they won’t let you in.
Or
They and you don’t know how to make conversation. Ask them about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. Read current news or trendy stuff before going to the party so you have things to talk about.
Practice your small talk , and pick a few topics you can talk about while at the party.
Read up or watch some sports. Talk about World Cup .
Then in conversation with people talk s out your GF , how you met, how she has been the best thing to happen to you.
They know her so there’s your common interest.
And besides, they are going to tell her how lovingly you speak of her, and you are going to get a lot of points.
Tbh I think parents DO deserve breaks, and it's not a healthy attitude to guilt parents for wanting to take care of their own needs too. You can't pour from an empty cup and all that. I know I'm a better parent when I'm looking after myself and my mental health.
But there's definitely a middle ground between “never getting a break” and “expecting my mother to be a full-time nanny”
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Who would downvote this? Not everyone has therapy as part of their common thought, and it can certainly be a frightening prospect. OP, many things worth doing in life are scary; but, the only way to move forward is to confront that fear.
There's no doubt you can do this. Take it slow and go to a few places where women will be. You have a way with words no doubt so initiating conversation won't be very hot. Make sure you're upfront with them when the time is right. Just like you looking for something specific the woman will be doing the same.
You would be an idiot if you continue in a relationship that toxic. You deserve better than that.
It just makes me feel like he was hurt because he loved her even though he says that he never loved her and just liked her
You said in your original post you said he was a much better father than yours and his. You never said in your original post that you felt unsafe.
You're clearly falling in love with this guy. Ask him if he feels anything for you too or otherwise you'll just end up being used for sex by someone who doesn't actually care that much for you. Also, whilst your relationship is more a situationship than a relationship, there's nothing to stop him from dating other women (and are you really happy for him to do that?).
what happens in your current or future relationships is none of your ex's business
I don't think you're being unreasonable. Living in a constant state of panic and dread is not healthy at all. Eventually that panic will just turn into full blown resentment and the marriage will be over anyways.
Has your fiance tried anything to help with his anger outburst? Maybe you guys need some marriage therapy that will also help him with anger management as well as your processing some of your trauma response.
You did, and I was expressing my appreciation for your feedback. I was asking a question again to get an honest answer so I can reflect and determine if I agree with your assessment 🙂
I am very effective at communication and have expressed to him that this is important to me. He has expressed to me that it’s important to him as well. Hence my confusion with his response.
I totally agree with you. I am so, so sorry.
I would definitely suggest leaving this man. You deserve so much better. You are very right. I promise that you will find someone someday who gives you all the love you deserve and more.
I would have a very difficult time not losing my composure over something like this, but know that you’re doing the right thing for yourself and your children. Sometimes, the most difficult things that happen in our lives can make us so much stronger in the end.
HR report
For the sadness/disappointment I’d say the best thing you can do is acknowledge it as a reasonable reaction. He has a right to feel the way he does. If this pregnancy came about as a result of poor choices, you can acknowledge them and share in his disappointment. Something like, “if I could go back in time, I’d do things differently.” If you were taking precautions and just had bad luck, you can mention that too. Just don’t try to make it a fight defending your actions. The past is done and the present and future is what’s important now.
As for that, don’t underestimate how much of his reaction is rooted in fear for you. You are his baby that he raised with a certain idea of what your adulthood would look like and I highly doubt it was in line with being a very young, single mother.
You can help relieve his fears by presenting him with an established plan for how you are going to handle the next few years. Figure out what your income will be and make a monthly budget with everything itemized (rent, bills, food, childcare/baby stuff, etc.) Have an established plan for child care down to the days and hours. If you are going to continue your education, have a plan for how you are going to pay and how you will make the time for class/studying so that you succeed. What are your plans for your career! Show him that you are an adult who understands and is fully prepared for what you are about to take on as opposed to a child who will be in over her head and need a rescue. Make sure that this list is honest and based in reality. If you give him a list with unrealistic goals/expectations it will only make him more upset.
I hope this helps!
The animal hoarding is a big red flag. I bet hygiene isn't high on her list either.
She sounds unhinged to be honest. Everyone has a past. Don’t give in to her, or you’ll be doing it for the rest of your life.
How dumb are you really? When I was in high school I knew this kid. He was sort of a funny looking kid, and he would just go up to girls and ask him if they want to have sex. I asked him if he thought anybody would ever do that and he said if you asked long enough, somebody will do it. Maybe that’s what you were going for here. Low hanging fruit. But you’re old enough to really know better than that frankly the only girlfriend you’ll get like that are gross ones.
Have you tried..maybe..saying no?
I'm aware of that but I googled myself for an hour last night and never found it.
She either googled my ex or ran a background check on me.
Try fast people search. Look for your name. See: past addresses.
As someone who would want to see my dog after breakup, your current girl can go fuck herself
As someone who would want to see my dog after breakup, your current girl can go fuck herself
You aren’t seeing the issue because you’re narrowing in on disputing something no one is saying in the first place. No one is saying she doesn’t have a right to feel the way she does or that she couldn’t say what she said.
OP was a good partner because he heard her, put his ego aside, and is trying.
The issue is that she now seems to not care that his confidence took a hit and she’s not supporting him or showing appreciation.
You might say “why should she have to show appreciation if he just respected her wishes” but a good partner acknowledges their partner’s efforts and tries to elevate them. She doesn’t seem to have done any of that, or even reaffirm her love for him that goes beyond the sexual.
Arguably racist? Nah girl that’s straight up racist
Ding ding ding! He's a perv. Break up with him.
His obsession with virginity is unhealthy, and his parents sound even more fundamentalist (disapproving of a tattoo, seriously?)
Moreover, even if the BF is okay with you not being a virgin, it sounds like his parents will almost certainly go totally unhinged over it (do they even know he isn't a virgin?), so when that comes out (and it will), it's going to be a shitshow.
Are you sure you really want to play the role of the 'submissive religious girl' in a misogynistic family for the rest of your life?
More importantly, if you and he go on to have children, and you have daughters, are you okay with them being taught these misogynistic values?
seeing he already cheated on you.
What you think is easier have 2 girlfriends to have sex with or have a girlfriend and search for other girls live! to cheat with
Men paying for sex with a prostitute is not really a rare occurrence. Admitting to it like that makes them pitiful is probably rarer, but you never know.
i’m soo saying that haha
Bro you started dating a woman that was 3 times engaged to a literal freak that didn't try to hide it and presumably cheated on her a lot of times 6 months after they broke it off, and now you're surprised when your wife is a loser with no drive and no real perception of the real world that has no frame of what a good or normal relationship is?
She had medical issues that prevent her from working, but wants to have a baby?
A lot of this is not making sense. Do not commit to getting married. Be prepared to just walk away.
Absolutely show your girlfriend. Your relationship with your girlfriend is more important than your relationship with her mom. From there it’s up to your girlfriend if she wants to deal with the static.
If she is willing to follow through with it, she could try to make the point to her parents that them being this strict is more likely to cause her to move out and move in with you than anything, but it can’t be an empty threat.
But anyway, this is your girlfriend and her parents issue to deal with. Your job is to support her in how she wants to move forward.